miz-cynic

part 2

2011-01-20T17:24:00.001+01:00

as i was coming out cos by now i was so relaxed in her company............
egyptian:-'Your zipper is undone, pls zip it up'...with half a chuckle.
mizcynic:-why are u smiling like that?
egyptian:-its just that people could think we have been up to something.
mizcynic:-what?how?!chuckling too , I replied "its not possible".
egyptian:-why?!don't be too sure.....u're really looking very hot tonight, mizcynic....with a flirty smile, "been wanting to kiss u all night".

I just smiled A STOIC SMILE AND BEGAN TO FEEL GENERALLY UNCOMFORTABLE
BUT AT THE SAME TIME, random thots just started flying thru my head
my Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde sides started having conversations in my head.......
Dr Jekyl:-This is so weird, wrong even.I had better bail before she grabs me and kisses me and......
Mr hyde:-......and....you find out you are enjoying it and start to respond
Dr Jekyl:-ENJOYING IT KE!God forbid?....I'm not a lesbain now
Mr Hyde:-with a naughty smile....aren't you just a little bit curious ...to see how that glorious hair of hers ...would feel,to see if when you touch her her nipples she'll flinch ...or moan just a little......to see if things got a lil further , you'll derive a smug satisfaction knowing that u touched her down there are she was moaning uncontrollably and then you just stop midway and say sorry babe i gotta go,i can';t do this
Dr Jekyl:-that would be wicked!
Mr Hyde:-so.....u were thinking along those lines....with a soft teasing chuckle.
Dr Jekyl:-of course not....infact I had better leave before I allow u put unholy thots into my head...besides I AM ENGAGED!....remember....to a man!I am HETEROSEXUAL....very much so.

mizcynic:-"babe, I gotta go"...after minutes of uncomfortable silence that I was trying to make uncomfortable by inserting random gists
egyptian:-"now?! really,we should set another date for the movie".....
mizcynic:-yeah, will let u know
egyptian:-I'll see u off

We go downstairs , she waited with me for a while until the bus came and when I was about to enter she pulled me back and hugged me...."a little too tight"...chuckled Mr HYDE.
THE END.

LG ordered me to

2011-01-10T16:46:00.000+01:00

story story......ok since it was gist LG asked for here goes

Pls solve this riddle for me o, my pple,chic from egypt in my class, pretty,cute, nice healthy hair...excuse me that im describing a female in detail but you'll soon see why..... a lil snobbish....still on the fence about whether i wana be her friend or not cos for me she blows hot and cold......this is how we met.

Some students from my class including her headed to the cafeteria with a guy volunteering to explain a particular topic to us, a nigerian btw,during the discussion.....egyptian girl decides to bring up what happened in class earlier,my first class btw cos i resumed late, apparently she already had a reputation for being a snob.....egyptian girl:why were those silly indian peeps hating on me cos i told the lecturer the truth abt their presentation which was horrible btw...i couldnt resist the urge...mizcynic: why do u care?,especially as you didnt seem to care when you were putting down their presentation infront of the entire class.turning around to see who dared to speak to her majesty that way,egytian chic: i was only giving an honest opinion.....mizcynic: honesty is another thing, not having anythn positive or good to say about a presentation other pple worked their ass off researching no matter how bad you think it is is another.egytian girl: positive critisms are good....mizcynic: even the lecturer who in this case had a superior opinion by all of our standards had something good to say to every group,bottomline, say what is good or keep quiet! needless to say everybody labelled me vocal from then on, apparently the group consisted of her fans.

Truthfully I wasnt biffing this chic infact if i wasnt 100% heterosexual , i might even admit an attraction,I liked her.I thot she was gutsy.I also liked that she had nice hair to to mention a cute butt (at least to me),surprisng after the conversation something changed, she wanted to be my friend...not the reaction i expected but I didnt mind.

In subsequent days we had some other playful banters,exchanging supposedly flirty e-mails.fun times like wen her group went around telling other groups not to ask question during one of our major presentations so that we wuld only have the lecturers asking questions, only to get to the presentation and one member of her group trying to sabotage other groups presentation by asking too tricky questions, i got angry cos they did it to my group so I decided to retaliate.

they were the last group so The lecturer said...last group, how does it feel....one girl said....they are so lucky....they got to take ideas from other pples presentation to which i shot back , not so lucky because we get to also ask them more questions since we now have all finished our presentations and we have nothing to lose, apparently the indian sect in my class of whc I was getting quite close to a few of its members detested her and couldnt understand how someone they liked so much(me) could be friends with someone they hated so much (her).It was like the lion being close friends to the lamb,....one of my own indian friends actually started to call her my girlfriend( i suspect she was a lil jealous) to whc i just laughed off.sorry back to the gist at hand.....i started firing off difficult questions...they were stammering, this only mad ethe biffers follow suit with more horrible questions and punctures to their argument, the lecturer had to end it by saying we were being unfair.....after the class, i noticed she was sulking so i went over to her and apologised, told her they shda kept to their side of the bargain especially since they were the pioneers of the idea of "no questions".we kissed and made up[figuratively)..get ur minds outta the gutter.

She told me abt her boyfriend back home not calling and of this hot date she was having that nite, i asked to meet him she said she wanted alone time with him and she wanted to meet him first.She was all dressed up and looking very sexy. I told her I'd like all the juicy details wen she got back.Next morning she called me to the side and said....She had a good time but thr was something bad tht he said tht she did not like...ill edit most of the gist cos of time but the koko is sha tht after the dinner they ended up at hers and made out, drank,smoked,yea...she smokes. He crashed for a bit and when he wanted to start forcing her to do more than than smooching, she asked him oh ha, what is it....what do u want?.....dude(read as dumb dude)said i wana fuck you.I was flabbergasted....I said just like that.....who says that?she said as soon as she explained to him that sorry tht wasnt wht she was looking for he started apologising saying he thot that was wht she wanted , that most of this english chics he meets just wana fuck after a nite out.....she said ....not me!....he apologised and started treating her better by calling, saying romantic stuff...."I listened and adviced...be careful!but you can go with the flow.

Fastforward to a week larer she invited me for a movie and I was to meet up in her room, my first time of going to her room.we gisted , generally teased and had a good time and we forgot about the movie while waiting for asda.somewhr along the lines i went to the ladies and i think i forgot to buckle up my belt as i was coming out cos by now i was so relaxed in her company............

to be continued.........gotta go read small. owo ko gbodo jona(money must not burn)

plssssssssssssssssssss watch this

2011-01-10T05:22:00.002+01:00

THIS GUY'S IS CAPABLE OF GIVING U ORGASMS.. ..

2010-11-22T01:05:00.000+01:00

JUST BY HIS SINGING.I WATCHED WE ARE THE WORLD VIDEO AGAIN TODAY AND HE SANG THT CHORUS AS IF HE WAS MAKING LOVE ,ANYBODY ELSE AGREE?BEEN LISTENING TO HIM ALL NITE.IM OLD SCHOOL ABI? LOL.BY THE WAY HIS NAME IS BRUCE SPRINGSTEEN.SEXY!PLUS IT DOESNT HELP THT HE'S CUTE TOO.
WE ARE THE WORLD.

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS

2010-10-16T05:07:00.000+01:00

ENJOY!I chose the options with the lyrics cos i want you guys to feel the song like I do.comments welcomed.btw.This song depicts my final feelings at the end of one relationship like that i had.

MIZCYNIC HAS BEEN INTRODUCED

2010-09-28T12:50:00.000+01:00

Against all should I say odds ni o or stress ni o, I have done my introduction to my boo....nice anon,mgbeks,all of una who dey ask everytime,thanks for ur love and concern o. It went well, wish I could show pix but.......

Plenty of gist leading up to the thing o........

1.He is from a part of Lagos that we the "ara-oke"(peeps from the western naij) do not take too seriously because of their highly liberal lifestyle,......so father cynic said he does not think he's be serious wihout mincing words.Tht is even without me telling him that his mom has had 4 husbands in her lifetime.
2.what is the profession of parents?....business woman, anoda no-no for father cynic.........business business....all these business people....how are we sure wht exactly the nature of this business is.could be coke!
3.why the rush!father cynic said-it is suspicious , like he wants to do it by force before u go to school....he must have hidden agenda.
4.your mom said u threatened to add registry to it.......father cynic said......why is it a must for u to do tht before u go, can't u be ok with just the introduction...btw i threatened mom cos she was not even down with the introducion tht we shall go and do the registry in secret without telling her....but i was only joking.
mama cynic:-*shouting*...no registry will join u together without seeing ur parents...lailai....they will not i trust them
father cynic:-joko sibe,mo ka a ninu newspaper lojo yen pe N10,000 ni renting father and mother each.won kan ma rent obi ni now.translate to....i read in then papers the other day that its just N10,000 to rent father and mother,sit down there, they will just rent parents now.....
cynic:-daddy , me i was just joking o,oya mama cynic why are u against this intro
mama cynic:-because i dont want any man to" pale le e lori."..translate.....lay claims to u thereby blocking any other man
cynic|:-but i am very sure this is the man i wana spend the rest of my life with.
mama cynic:-what if u get to uk and find a better man......(richer....she means).

fast forward to the intro day......picture of my mom hugging boo and crying,telling him to take good care of me.and saying u are now my son.

to be continued.........btw boo will kill me if he saw this, he is a very private person who disapproves of me blogging but trust me......i won't stop blogging till i retire!lol.reminds me of one silly chorus tro one rap song when we were young...."i won;t stop rocking till i retire".

bringing sexy back and other miscellanous gists

2010-07-26T13:53:00.000+01:00

I was making out like i like to call it cos there was no actual sex invloved, there were lots of ass grabbing, lip biting,ear licking,neck biting,gymnastics....all of which I think are essential to me having a fab time at it.There was a new essential element I did not realise would make this one of the top three mind blowing experiences i have had in my entire life.my new hair-cut.
I didnt realise my short hair would actually be tagged bringing sexy back cos I was relunctant to cut the hair, at the salon the lady cutting it had to say "aunty ar u sure u are ready to cut this hair at all.....cos i kept screaming, not too short, not to low....pls i want to be able to fix other stuff on it.yada yada ya.......

But on the day of the rumurumu....like my peeps....(nice anon, mgbeks etc) are probably used to tht term by now.In ectasy the guy just kept on my short hair...see.it not a low cut, its like all this low back bob but u see i used to have long hair or at the very least more than average length and i dont recall guys even pulling at it or anythn , they touch, caress,but never pull at it.but somehow sha, mayb cos the hand also has lots of contact with my scalp or the guy kept on whispering"oh my God, your hair is sexy...while pulling it i dont know or the sensations that was directly going to my brain then to the core of my being....to end the matter I will say the hair is orgasmic.lol.

To other gists, I am in the process of making a decision and i might not mind blogsville input.
I'm thinking of going to school, for a postgraduate in a course related to my first course, btw I'm a banker, which technically has nothing to do with my first course which is in the sciences, but because of the passion, I want to study something related to that course but I'm scared it would mess up with the 6 and half yrs banking experience I already have which means I will have to start from scratch in this my chosen field cos I dont have any relevenat work esperience.What do u guys think?

Also my bobo and I are engaged...as in he has asked me to marry him and I have said yes but He is not ready for the wedding asper cost implications and all....,I want to go to school in September for a year, He proposed we do an introduction now then wedding next year,what do u guys think? intro now and wedding after my masters.?I have had interesting advice so far and I won't mind other perspectives.pls explain your perspective

AS THE SPIRIT DIRECTS

2010-04-06T16:27:00.000+01:00

Here are some famous quotes of Sir Winston churchill I came accross,those i liked and am feeling....

Just thought deeply about some and realised it could be taken seriously or un-serously, some of them made sense and still made me laugh......soothing cos I'm quite unhappy....something at work...they say I worry easily....well ,mayb i do.

here goes......

1.Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady

Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would

drink it. -- His reply

serves her right in my opinion......"elenu gbongbo"....its no surprise na she talk this second one too...lady astor my foot!she is just an "iya isonu".

2.Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:

"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

funny cos,being drunk is temporary, u will sleep it over....and the next morning u'd be fine but ugliness?,....except for plastic surgery sha o.

3.Americans always try to do the right thing --

after they've tried everything else.

this is sha better, nigerians ,we will never do the right thing even after we have tried several sorts of shady ways.

4.. History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

cocky and funny statement....i choose to look at it like this......He is cocky and darn sure of himself that he will make history also, he is mocking the bias of people who write /say good things about themselves

5.If you have ten thousand regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.

what I think Lagos State is fast becoming a poster-child for......too much tax and laws....the one tht pissed me off most recently is the one of build something on your land or it gets revoked.

6.The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.

yea, i so agree....some people now even say the truth is relative.....its not relative (these are the devil's advocate), its just the distortion...there is only one truth in any situation and it is always thr.

7.An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile—hoping it will eat him last.

bootlickers....hear it, na u the crocodile wey u dey worship...u know that boss in your office....whom u bootlick at the expense of your colleagues,go chop u sef one day.

8.We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

whao, this man to me in the literary world is next to Einstein.DEEP........am sure he was taking a swipe at United Kingdom especially with the crazy tax they pay there.they will soon tax themselves to oblivion.lol.
I imagine a man in the bucket true true....trying to carry himself by the handle and its laughable.

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.

this reminds me of an adlib in yoruba......"olopa ewo n tepe"

translate to...fine u're a police man.....its bad enuff ure going to charge me for whateva offence u think i've committed,so which one come bring curse ontop of am.....ok ur a fanatic u wont change ur opinions.....fine then shut the hell up!.

them plenty....but i'll stop here my peeps,whts ur two cents?

lest i forget....all tributes to Sir WINSTON CHURCHILL FOR ALL HIS wonderful quotes.bros i bow o.tuale! sir.

ALL ABOUT ME

2010-03-09T11:57:00.000+01:00

I am feeling very lazy to do a post but I'll post this all the same.

The Basics

Hair Color: Jet Black

Eye Color: brown

Height: 5"8

Profession: Banker(lately I wish I was a chef)

Religious views: Muslim

My Favorites

Favorite Movie: Sound Of music

Favorite Hobby: Gisting

Favorite Song/Singer:Dido, Sade ,avril lavigne,whitney (notice Im on a first name basis with them.lol)

Favorite Vacation Destination: Paris(neva been thr),Dubai,Seychelles

Favorite Animal: Cat

Favorite Childhood Memory: when we go to Apapa amusement park.

Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate

Coke or Pepsi : nah

Beer or Wine: non-alcoholic wine

Coffee or Tea: both

Apple Juice or O.J.: o.j,wetin be o.j(O.J Simpson).orange juice

Facebook or MySpace: facebook

Cats or Dogs: cats

Boxers or Briefs: paynt.(panties)

Rain or Shine : shine

Chips or Popcorn:chips

Salty or Sweet: sweet

Plane or Boat: plane

Morning or Night: night if i won't be mugged.

Movie or Play: Movie

Walk or Drive: as in , long distance or short distance?if na short distance,walk-romantic, if na long distance,walk na suffer head o

Money or Love: hmm..........love! i think

Forgiveness or Revenge: revenge.so the next time u wana fuck with me, u think twice.

House or Apartment: apartment abeg, cleaning will be easier

Do You?

Have Any Children: no , i wish!

Smoke: nope.neva!

Drink: nope!

Exercise: i wish!i walk though....ong distances,sporadically.

Spend Your Life On Facebook: why?!

Play On A Sports Team:i wish!

Belong To Any Organizations: does jaycees in uni count

Love Your Job:nope,as long as its called a job

Like To Cook: Yep

Play An Instrument: I wish!

Sing: I LIKE TO THINK SO

Dance: I like to think so

Speak Multiple Languages:yes. english and yoruba and understand a bit of hausa.

Have You Ever

Stolen Anything: maybe when i was little.

Been Drunk Before Noon: how?!

Got Caught Telling A Lie: yes o

Been Arrested: ehn! maka why?!

Cheated On A Test: in secondary sch i was known for my "longsightedness"

Failed A Class: ............yeah.its humbling

heretosexuality versus homosexuality

2010-02-24T10:18:00.001+01:00

I remembered today being the birthday of someone who used o be my "itchu".and instantly I called her, we fell into our usual camaredie and it was like old times.Now notice that I am admitting that that she was my itchu which i would not have admitted back then in school when we were actually "jetchuing".jetchuing being the verb if itchu is the noun. I hope u get my drift and for my yoruba speaking folks "je" means eat so i mean chopping itchu.am sure anyone who went to a boarding school especially an "only girl school" like mine would understand this.

A preamble to the word itchu.different people have different meanings for these words.For the relatively innocent,an itchu would be a girl that u have extra feelings for other than u would have for a regular friend, these feelings would tend towards waht a guy would feel for a girl but u would not act on it sexually. this means no kissing, no smooching,no fucking.(did i even know what tht was back then) I used to tell people that as at my S.S.3,I still thot that if u laid bside a boy even if ur bodies dont touch, u could get pregnant.As I was saying the not so innocent ones which of course we had in my school then would actually kiss,smooch even have sex with different objects....those were the advanced babes....the bubblers....the hard chics.

I remember this one time these girls,were at the quadrangle(this is what we call the open space usually at the centre of our dorm rooms with trees , sitting structures sometimes.One thing led to another,they probably forgot they were in the full glare of pple, they thot "nite"would cover them but alas I think they got bolder and started kissing clung to each other. I heard it was a junior girl who saw them first, I think they were in S.S 1. the junior girl called the next senior in line until they were surrounded by a crowd of their own mates, not until one girl hit them hard on the back and shouted "haba!"(my school girls are quite dramatic) before they became aware of their surroundings, I was in the crowd and to me it was like they used superglue to gum them together, they were that "in trance"

My own scope of jeitchuing was the fact tht my class mates knew i had this special friendship with this girl who was also in my class and half of the school used to say we were itchus which we vehemently denied.When she was sick and she needed to take drugs,and she was refusing, her room-mates would say call her itchu,Id come too -knight in shiny arnour and make her take the drugs ....I had my way. I would talk gently to her like a boyfriend would and she'll even feel better already cos I was thr.Obviously cos I wasnt a girly girl and I have a deep voice(by the way thts the most compliments i receive from both young and old "i like ur voice" and I'd blush) and she was a girly girl I was often teased that I was the guy in the relationship. We used to hold hands, give hugs, put our arms around each other and talk late into the nite. We got really close.We were also musketeers as I remember us "tapping" peoples m&b's together by distracting our victims then we would tear the front page off and write "eze goes to school in front of it."Truth was I "loved" my friend. Nothing changed at home cos I still had my regular crushes on guys my age then etc.I remember one nite which is quite foggy to me now but we were so excited about the fact that we had made up after a long fight and I had written her what could be misconstrued as a love letter and she was sitting beside me with her head in my lap,holding me very tight sobbing.We did not know any better, we were "kids"....ur right !14 ,15,16, cos this itchuism lasted fom my SS1-3 and we often tell each other stories of how we met.She'd say" u know I never liked u in our junior days and I'd say me neither."I saw u cutting grass one day and u were pissing me off with ur stance like yea.....were they really expecting u to cut grass" and I 'd say "even u I felt u were ugly cos then u had a lot of pimples on ur face and I hated ur crew....I wondered what such a cool chic was doing with the razz bunch".Many more memories to relive but before I start grosing people out I'll stop here.

so question is "Is there a thin line between homosexuality and heterosexuality?

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX

2010-02-03T12:25:00.002+01:00

Folks, out of curiousity,I wana see how freaky or otherwise i am compared to the next person in blogsville, so I'll be asking some questions.Please indulge me and put pen to paper,all i need is y if its yes and n if its no. sorta like this.1y2n3y4n,like that . it'll be short i promise. just ten questionsand ill put my own answer beneath the post so no "ojoro"

1.If u're making love/making out incase u are a virgin(being a virgin dont mean u have to be totally clueless...u need to research.....be in tune with your body etc.),and ur partner has tried his/her best and u know in ur heart that its the best he or she can come up with,and he/she asks,did you come?and for u the answer is no. do u tell the truth.?

2.have u ever done the 69 before?

3.have u ever used a toy with your partner?

4.do you think whether you are to have an orgasm in a single encounter with a partner is solely dependent on the skills of that partner?

5.have u ever tasted ur own "juice" in any form or shape or manner? here i have to distinguish tht i meant for the woman her wetness and for the man ur pre-cum?

6.have u ever tasted your partners "cum"?also here i mean a woman's squirt and a man's semen

7.have u made love to a woman with her folks around in the same house not necessarily , the same room, and for women have u ever allowed this ?

8.do u make loud noises if/when u are coming?

9.do you think each vagina u've ever had feels the same if the skills are at par and if u are a woman do u think each dick feels the same as long as their skills are on the same level.

10.have u had an orgasm before?

my ans.1y2y3n4n5y6y7n8n9y10y

p.s:-other comments are welcome too

MAGUN

2010-01-11T13:26:00.003+01:00

Omo, i see am life and direct se, no be joke,......the guy join to the girl ni o.
uuuhm, otun ti de....(.u don come again) ......howwwwwwwwwwwww?how can ?how can man and woman join together like that wen e no be say na superglue dem take gum dem.

apparently this chic na fine babe, so when it became apparent to her hubby that she dey do some kin runs , e come place "magun" on am .

ehn ehn, so wetin come happen

the guy come escape ni o, so that dem no go come beg am, or find any remedy.

but in this day and age, some pple still dey carry magun put for person bodi, o ga o!

the story is that the woman in question is vey fine so she has a lot of toasters.

so u agree too thast she is promiscuous

well.....me i no know o

Whts the one me i know as per magun is the one that the guy will somersault 3 times and after the third time if thr is no intervention , he dies

what about the one of thirst

thirst ke?!

yes , thirst.....when he finishes the act,he suddenly has the urge to drink water, as in he will be very thirsty.as soon as he drinks water....he dies,
interesting!me i have neva heard of the one of thirst before o, the other one i know is the one that he crows like a cock after the act, and then he dies.

which brings me to the point......and my inspiration for this post -sugarking's post.
why should anyone place magun on someone.na u born am!u be GOD?!
I think the only reason why any one would do that is vendetta cos rily, this magun ...all the different types are not preventive.....they only work have the person has slept with your wife and all of them have expiry period as in even if ur wife remains faithful to u she dies within a stipulated time frame too if nothing is done...recall THE MOVIE "THUNDERBOLT" starring Uche Obi Osotule.

If the real definition of MAGUN were to be followed,it should be preventive rather then "vengeful cos its MAGUN-DON'T CLIMB not "GUN KO KU "(CLIMB AND DIE) or somthn else.

anyways sha my pple, my own take on infidelity is simple. If u cannot trust ur significant other, as in if u have proof that she is gun-ing other peeps or other peeps are gun-ing her then leave/divorce her before u die before ur time of hypertension.

back from vacation,wana blog

2009-12-21T14:00:00.006+01:00

yea, like the title says, i went on vac o as in for 4 full weeks and like the scruge i am , i wanted to wait till i resume before i post.plus awon nice anon, mgbeks, ibiluv and co have said we shd post or else>>>>>>>.

gist plenty o

first and foremost my aunt, as in my mom's blood sister,same father same mother died. the one i gisted u about that got married last at age 43. unfortunately she did not leave any child.There is some drama surrounding her death.story is that she had been complaining that since they got married,they've hard spent 2 weeks in all together since hubby is based in akure and my aunt port harcourt.She said they shd start to live together as man and wife, so the man resigned cos she had the better paying job.Then they had an accident,the driver was driving, not a scratch on him,the hubby was behind with her, not a scratch on him,the first story we heard was that the car hit the kerb and nothing happened to the car but my aunt sustained injuries in her head and died, then again the story changed to it was raining heavily, visibility was poor and the car tumbled and then landed more on the side she was....blah blah and the injury she suffered was serious.

naturally there were side talks here and there about if thr was any foul play on the hubbby's part, some salient issues also came up like

the driver had been reprimanded before on his driver by my uncle the immediate elder brother of the deceased and had advised my aunt to sack the driver

that the mother never totally consented to the wedding cos she had always had her close to him at her bosom in akure to the extent tht he got a better job once in abuja but did not take it cos of his mother

also when the issue of where they were to bury came up, the hubby and the family said she cldnt be buried at akure(hubby's hometown) because as they claimed "there is no decent burial ground in the whole of akure (the tradition is for ur wife to be buried in ur home town).

sidetalks from family members of the guy saying ''afterall she did not bear any child for us"

he was so happy about the ministry providing funds because he kept on saying he's broke o and shey we know his family too is broke. friends and family of the wife did practically everythn.when the money landed his account,2 weeks after the burial cos u know ministry and the tendency to delay stuff he apportioned like a third for himself even though some bulk money that the family and friends used for the burial had not been refunded.

I am not one to judge as the whole thing must be traumatic for him but all i know is something doesnt gel somewhr.even if its as mundane or inconsequential , the least of what is wrong may be that he did not love my aunt as christ loved the church.and the worst being that he is a gold-digger, i know he will be rewarded accordingly cos God doesnt take either with levity.I couldnt help biffing the guy when the pastor kept hampering in the church during the burial service tht in line with God's directive, his wife is gone, is gone...if he wants to marry today sef, he is free, death has done them part...i have a feeling he went to tell the pastor tht the family is witch-hunting him.

on a lighter note , there was a funny part to all this, the pastor during the service said "madam lagbaja(my aunt).....was a firtuous woman(virtuous woman),despite thew fact that she married at 43.....,she was a firgin, (virgin)....her husband can confirm this....my sister and I could not help ourselves , we burst out laffing...quietly ofcourse.

SOPE TIE (THANK GOD FOR YOUR OWN)

2009-10-28T15:11:00.008+01:00

They say omo toba nipe "oko" baba oun lo tobi ju, koi de oko baba elomi-the child that says his father's farm is the biggest ,definitely he has not reached another person's father's farm before.lemme digress that yoruba proverb can easily be translated also to mean the child that says his father's penis is the biggest definitely has not seen others father's penis.

In a cynical way im going to relate all this to the title of the post.If u think your problems are large,definitely you have not seen the extent of other's woes.

I was complaining recently that i so hate when i'm with my bobo and want to enter a place and they wana know if he's up to 21 until a silly girl i used to work with called me recently to gossip about a colleague of ours who is getting married to an ugly old man...her comment was "so ti ba to yen ni"-this means ...he don hook the girl like tht?the girl called to tell me cos this particular colleague of ours is nasty with a capital N.

I was complaining that we were not paid our performance portion of our salary which translates literally to 20% being slashed from our salary until i heard of a colleague in First Bank who had been unceremoniously asked to go.

When I was younger , I used to complain that we used to get only one set of provisions until i heard of a girl who never had anyone visit her in school,not to talk of getting any provisions sent to her.

Like they say Igi gogoro ma gun mi loju.....aa dodge e ni,seriously its okere la ti n wo, but I just discovered that my ex whom I used to biff for buying a new car instead of committing to our wedding, actually collected loan to buy the car,a loan which he can't pay back and the bank is now chasing him up and down for their money,thank God i "dodged" him, marrying him would have been the igi gogoro literally entering my eye with his debts amongst many other things.

I have a man who smokes and drinks moderately, still enuff of me to nag and rant about on most days, but to the best of my knowledge does not womanise and holds me in high esteem,I have a friend whose husband drinks, smokes and womanises even in their home.she complains bitterly daily to me but never to him for fear of probably receiving a slap.

i COULD GO ON AND ON BUT THE KOKO is sha to thank God for every situation you find yourself in and remember whateva your situation..."airi iru e ri, a fin deruba oloro ni-aah!me i never see this one before o!,na to scare the person wey get talk...or somn like tht jare. my yoruba peeps will feel me better

50TH POST.

2009-10-14T13:26:00.004+01:00

omo e don tey wey i visit this blog.....oops , na ma blog sha.na today i even clock 50 posts sef.make una shak ur preference for my head....if na henessy, chardonnay,heineken,sprite,coke,water e.t.c.

as u don notice i wan blog in pidgin, someone tell me say my pidgin is wacked, na in sabi , i go finish dis post

some foolish secondary school memories just come to mind.we get dis over-sabi boarding house mistress in name na bukola or somthn like dat sha.d woman dey play for manchester so awon chics just kukuma nick-name am "bukoyan", my yoruba folks can relate to this,the name attests to the fact say she be to manchester united what ronaldo was to them before hin go real madrid-a great asset *chuckling to myself".dis woman dey terrorise awon girls no be small, na she go see student wey wear mini skirt,hot pant, wey hin bra dey see-thru, d gist be say she no get toaster and she dey biff awon chics wey young-virile blooded male teachers dey follow then.na so she dey waka go class one day she accost one SS2 babe.d following dialogue na in ensued.

bukoyan :-chidinma,come here!

chidinma:-walks sexily,provocatively and rudely to meet miss bukoyan

bukoyan come turn am to in native language."ninu omu ti e ati omu temi, ewo lo tobi ju.for the sake of my non-yoruba speaking peeps for blogsville , i will translate(between your boobs and my boobs, which one is bigger),

chidinma replies politely rudely."ti yin ni ma"(its urs ma).

bukoyan:-"ose wa jepe emi ma n pack temi dada,' shom shom',iwo de ma se tie degbere"( so why is it that me i pack my own very smartly and u pack yours so loosely)

d girl shock open mouth.

bukoyan:-common go to ur dorm and wear a tighter fitting bra,my friend,stupid girl!

but my people,we sef bad that time,and urs truly was so troublesome but i no dey do that kin thin sha o.the thin wey i dey do na thns like......ok,we get one handsome english teacher like that wey dey keep very long last nail and in like to dey point to anythn at random with it.anyhow sha chicks get plenty crush on am so when time reach to submit english assignment,some go dey tuck love note for inside,on one occasion na picture fall out, i come trace the particular notebook wey picture fall commot,e come be one 'butter cannot melt in my mouth opeke chic'.na so i rearrange the books, me wey i no dey gree distribute books as class captain, i go just dump make all man hussle in own, na so i stand for front of class dey distribute books, wen e come reach the babe turn na in i announce say ladies and gentlemen, our dearest madam opeke chic actually put her picture for the benefit of our english teacher,na so i shake the picture commot for ground. needless to say the babe rep change instanta.

i remember so clearly one wicked senior boarding house mistress wey we get wey we fear so much say upon say we nickname am lets say mgbeks cos her name na mrs mbgeke for example, when u skip prep to chill inside the room and u hear say she don land by the signature scream "mgbeks are coming!"...she be one person o,. but na the fear we get we dey use 'are' for am o as in for her,its rude to use 'is' o na mgbeks are coming o..... who born u make u no respect mgbeks na she write the foreign book wey we dey use then for English in school o.

i get one post i wan post about my current lovey wey dey do me yori yori but i dey fear gan ni cos it seems wheneva i talk about any sweerie of mine on here , e go just jinx comot, na the following day evrythn go scatter, abi na winch.lol.

THE IRONY OF LOVE

2009-09-01T10:52:00.011+01:00

As I was in my office thinking "when will i stop literally getting slapped with work cos honestly it seems like each time something to be done is being shoved in my face,to me it feels likei'm being slapped with the sheet of paper or whteva the request comes on.So, a txt comes in......usual"excuse me boss u have a txt message(and i've refused to change tht txt message alert)....its from my ex-ex-ex.........read as my boyfriend before the last before the last.

It read "i was listening to a radio programme yesterniteon ex-relationshipsand i just cant help reliving memories of our relationship.I still love you.

upon calling i found out he was being sincere and he couldnt for some reason shake the loe we shared.which brings me to the fact of my own so called "all time love of my life"...that took me so long to shake off, it even cost me 2 relationships ...yes! i haver finally admitted....he was the cause of the demise of my last 2 relationships.

The guy in this case is I call him my second love of my life and if i were more of a realist than the idealist tht i am would immediately overtake the position of the all time love of my life but as much as I hate to admit, he hasnt.But if understanding me were a measure or the S.I unit of measuring love then he wins hands down.

It also brought on a cocky feeling...LEMME EXPLAIN.....FOR YEARS I PINED FOR MY LOST LOVE as in it took me nothing less than 3yrs to get over tht guy and I am like...wtf!did he use jazz for me or wht????!!!...so it felt good also to know tht someone is still pining for me since 2002....felt so good.!

We hung out yesterday and he tried to kiss me...but I had to turn my cheek.I guess I dont feel tht way no more about him.but we're still very good/close friends.He speaks to all the boyfriends I have had since then and asks them to take good care of me.

Lest i forget i need opinions on some stuff

1.If u are in a relationship.......can u go out for a movie with your guy-friend...if yes...under wht clauses/circumstances
2.If u are in a relationship and when the guy has which is less often btw he spends wella on you, will u do same when u have which is more often by the way.

im out!.gotta go earn my living for the day.

random

2009-08-04T14:14:00.007+01:00

cant believe i'm blogging again so soon,

here is one of the txts married man sent

note,thr hv been some editing

thnx for ur help in sorting out the trfs,i appreciate it.and i enjoyed chatting 2day,even though my conversation was interspersed with I luv us between SO &miz-cynic,and in the very presence of A(HE REFERRED TO HIMSELF INTHIRD PERSON).ahah will sort out ur coach dis week.get SO to buy ur tennis outfit, he oggles at it more than me and knws the contours of ur size 12 bodand i will look for a racquet

i havent replied yet but my reply will go somn like......

MrA,u are quite welcome,I also enjoyed chatting today,I wonder why it should bother u that I said a couple of I love us.......afterall you also called your wife in my very presence.lol.

You promised to buy the outfit,why are u changing your mind......do i sense a lil jealousy
should it matter who oggles more at it.

this is how we tease each oda so........its harmless

in oda news I am actually enjoying my job at the moment, I moved branches and this Branch is a lot more serene and orderly/organised,It also might be the very nice small chops that is sold very near here by one of our customers.......this doesnt mean he gives us freebies...stingykoko man...we get to buy it and ur dearest miz-cynic has turned it to breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I feel like rocking this friday...though I'm on a curfew....i went out 2 fridays ago and got back 3....momsie wailed...i was just thinking to myself...see yawa!!i suppose don born myself dey chastise my 15 yr old daughter for coming back so late too.

I love blogsville,I think I have read some of the funniest, most interesting,wacko,smartest, most insightful, touching,romantic thing on here.human beings are so talented....that might also be our undoing.

yay i clocked one year on blogsville.

2009-07-29T12:38:00.010+01:00

I promised myself i must to blog today mehn!!!!!!!!!How i no go blog?I clocked one year on blogsville today, shout out to geisha, ibiluv,boorish male , geisha:-she introduced me to blogging,ibiluv:-she encouraged me to blog,boorish male:-he inspired me to blog.

Blogging is becoming a chore for me and i hate chores....tht does not mean i wont be blogging anymore or tht i'll take down the blog, i actually go back to read old posts for fun

M y blogging today is gonna be mega random

A cute customer came to my workplace yesterday and we had interesting conversation and we have an easy camaredie but guess wht....he's probably in his late forties,married with kids ,speaks impeccable english,distinguished, successful.....I now finally realise tht i just met the met tht can actually make me consider "aristocrazy"...the danger here would be tht i could actually fall in love with him and wait for this he speaks "fone" and is a practising muslim...cute!this means never say never...i used to say I could never consider dating a married man,not to talk of one who kids , not to talk of one who is in his late forties.

He has sent me two lovely text messages, and he's also funny!.i feel he's flirting but i might be wrong.so I'm also playing it along those lines cos frankly, I dont want anythnn more.but for now I'm enjoying all the attn

Also there is gist about the guy whom I blogged about a coupla times,the one where we sent sexy txt msgs and he said he was at the gate only to risk all and find out he was in his bed in surulere,the one who we were giving each oda the eye and we eventually met months larer.d one tht someone said on a chat ho ha tht they wanted to fuck!Now he's wishing he and I had dated and he that wasnt so proud to beg.unfortunately i still like him o but no thanks.alakoba!, he was even reminiscing about old times.

Small world......my friends's hot boyfriend ...(more gist about him larer) dosent have taste,we saw him with one asa(my yoruba peeps should know wht this means)....just thought to myself....he don downgrade cos my own friend is a hot babe o.is it only me who feels when a guy/ girlwho had a hot chic/girl and suddenly breaks up and goes for a ugly chic/guy, he/she has just stepped down.lol, sounds shallow but sue me!.lol.

jokes & wise cracks

2009-06-26T12:26:00.004+01:00

MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.

Lesson 2:
A pastor offered the church organ player a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The pastor nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The organist said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The organist once again said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor apologized 'Sorry, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the destination, the organist sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.

Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, a nd the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.

Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..

Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
You can all now go for your tea break, for just 5min.

now i paticularly loved the first,and fifth one and now for the wisecracks
can remeber just two
i think it was either bernard shaw or winston churchill

he was retuning home one night froim the pub whr he'd gone to have a coupla drinks and happened to be drunk, as he was now going home, one of these dowager ladies (read as iya isonu)now saw him......
and contorted her nose and said "ummmmph!ur drunk!....snortishly
to which he responded
"yes madam, i know,but tomorrow i'll be sober,but u maam are very ugly.

another one was an observation by either of these gentlemen
one pretty young blond model and a rich distinguised old "handsome" lady were to pass a tight walkwayand the young lady noticed the middle-aged woman trying to hustle a lil and pass first so she just shifted aside a lil as if dont touch me...oya pass... and said "age before beauty"...
the old woman just walked forward unhurriedly past her and said....."and pearls before swine.

at least i've posted!.lol.

its not sexy!....

2009-06-20T22:27:00.004+01:00

its not sexy!......
why do guys feel like they have to keep you guessing or wht game is it they are playing anyways
i dont get it, mgbeks wrote something about this not too long ago....is it tht guys are spoilt ni o
pls guys help me out here.....im trying to understand.......from your perspective

@is it tht girls are too plenty nowadays u'd feel stupid if u ended up not picking what u supposedly think is the best so u try not to commit to anyone until ur sure whc one u want?????
b)is it tht u are still not used to rejection tht u want to bide your time and be sure the girl is not gona say no when u eventually get the liver to ask.
C)you seem non-committal cos commitment scares u
D)u wish u never have to get married.duh!we do too!
e)u want to postpone getting married for as long as you can since u know its inevitable.
F)plain old greed or u cant seem to make up your mind about the girl u want
i'mma try to paint some scenarios cos frankly the scenarios themselves are so shady or inexplicable tht i'm wondering how i'll succeed painting them.

forgive my language pls cos i'm, in a ranting mode

scenario 1:-asshole has a girlfriend,does not deny the fact, girl has given him like 5 yrs of her life so....(ko mo bo se ma gbegba....he doesnt know how to opt out).....has another chick he blows hot and cold with.......tells her ish like why did he not meet her before the woman he's dating now and all....whts girl in question supposed to feel........girl in question now has some guy giving her attention and all and asshole feels he has the right to be jealous.been acting funny and cold and downright immature...excuse me....being in a relationship himself has taken away the right for him to feel jealous about another man giving girl in question attn.get over urself and stop giving attitude.......afterall he categorically informed girl in question he's in a relationship.

scenario 2:-mofo gets all up close and personal and does mushy stuvs,refers to them hypothetically hving kids together, at the verge of dating once but backed out under the pretense of girl not being submissive cos he was a domineering male.resurrects back and wriggls/warms his way back into girls life...but biding time ,not.........giving anythn away as to whether he wants to be friends or lovers.....misyans one day..and girl gives him the silent treatment for a few days now he's gone awol. for his sake he had better not re-appear cos kasala go burst! ........claps hands together....wht happened to the days when guys offend you i.e when they hv not become full bfs and they are the ones trying to get back into 3 3 ur good graces.....

scenARIO 3:dbanj!!!!!!!!!kini koko????!!!!!!!!!!!whts this guy's 411 as in wht does he want...like standard how many days, months/years does it take to decide whether u like a girl enuff to want to ask her out.......for goodness sakes its not marriage its just going out....if it does not work out u can back out..........u act all mushy mushy, closey gooey and wht hv u....make funny remarks and give babe ideas...all the while girl does not know ur "p".....infact ore oriburuku wo lobinrin ati okunrin bara won se kiri- (whc kain stupid friendship boy and girl dey do up and down)

infact i have concluded tht my fuse is getting shorter for guys who fall into any of these 3 categories as in wtf!wht the heck are u feeling like.....or u pass derogatory remarks and expect babe to keep mute...cos of wht,ur the man or wht or notori afe je malu a wa ma pe malu ni broda(because we wan chop cow, we go come dey call vow bros)...nonsense!

ODE TO MY DAD

2009-06-08T09:14:00.011+01:00

HERE GOES.......

ode to my popsie or is it poksie...like one razz girl i met during my service year.she also used to call pepsi, peksi(all with a yoruba accent).

although we are not as close as father and daughter should be, i love u all the same

I remember weekends, we will assemble and u will play sunday ade on the turntable.....i remeber it so vividly..."what do u desire wht do u have under o....sweet banana....sweet sweeet swweet banana....and u will pick the best dancer and give her a up of "samco icecream.fun!

or when u gather the neighbourhood kids and play thriller for all of us and we'd all be excited.

I remember when we were in primary school, we were a lot closer.... 4 slices of bread,and chasing us out of the house with koboko anytime past 7.30am so we won't be late for school.
I remember the stories, jokes,teasingriddles,...half a circle, a circle, half a circle, a circle, and a triangle with 2 legs equals COCOA. or was it the one i found so hilarious......there was this ruler, we all should know him, he was a dictator,he was from niger state, he became a ruler in 1985.....how tall is the ruler.....naturally we were racking our brains thinking how tall babangida would be, until he finally tells us...a ruler is 12 inches long.
oR IS IT ONE DAY WHEN U ASKED ME TO SWEEP YOUR ROOM AND IT WAS SO HOT, I WAS JUST GRUMBLING AND MUTTERING UNDER MY BREATHE...OOOH God! this stupid broom now, too short, all my back is paining me....too strong it cannot even sweep very well....pschew...! UNIL I HEARD YOUR LOUD VOICE...."CYNIC....ALWAYS GRUMBLING...only a lazy workman quarrels with his tools.

or is it when we write our boardingg house list and u take out ur glasses and pen and slash everythn into half, we soon learnt to outsmart u though, the next time we doubled everythn on our list so when u halfed it, wen got everythn we wanted.lol.

or is it your powerful amala and jollofrice even sweeter than momsie's own sef when mummy travelled in 1987 to kaduna for a course for 3weeks and left 3 of us to your care without any househelp.

or the fun we used to have when we go to yetkem and buy those humongous steaming hot meatpie tht we would eat for the whole day and still not be able to finish

or one text message u left on my phone on my 25th birthday....SayingHAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING....youth is the best part of any human's life,u're at the peak of your youth, invest IT in your future"

i love you dada even though we might "differ" a lot of times

CORNY/IRRITATING TOASTING LINES/SITUATIONS

2009-05-25T11:15:00.004+01:00

boy:-your father is a thief!

girl:-en! wetin u say, abemi?

boy:-cos he stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes

girl:-i said leave me alone, na by force, i said i'm not dating you

boy:-u see, i cant leave u alone......"your name has been written on the chapel of the cathedral of my heart"

boy:-excuse me,excuse me,excuse....

girl:-yes....

boy:-its like , when i saw u, my heart started doing me somehow and i knew i just had to talk to you

girl:-en en

boy:-will u be my girlfriend?

girl:-just like that, is it a beans?

boy:-ok....you can go!

wtf!

COULD IT BE I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IT

2009-05-14T18:59:00.002+01:00

I'm feeling really stupid as I bring this issue to you my people of blogsville,

met on a holiday trip to ghana in march 2008- check

same guy i had my last "rumu rumu" with-check

calls me at least once a day to say nothing in particular but how was ur day, tell me how ur day went and he really listens-check

he sees me off halfway frm his house even though i have my car-check

i miss him sometimes so i also call him at least once a day-check

he gets super jealous when i tell him i went to watch a movie with a colleague-check...(his response...."see, u are reporting urself")

he calls me up when he hears a song he knows i like on radio-check

I called him once when a radio station had rock on their playlist...he loves rock.-check

if i go to his house and i'm hungry,he says the kitchen is all urs baby-check

i once asked him wht his his "specs"...his response was "you"-check

so pls am I in denial tht we have a relationship?pls tell me i'm not.

out of body experience

2009-04-27T09:27:00.008+01:00

out of body experience.....i swear my peeps this na testimony.

after the headmistress office incidence,i had a drought as in nothing nothing,zilch, nada!full on conji!( i think i'm a very sexual being) ....i decided i was due for some rumurumu...burrax can explain wht this means.According to one theory by a blogger, i cant remember who now.....she was talking abt which is better for ur rep,1.doing it with a newbie who u'd neva done it with before or reducing the numbers by keeping it in the circles of pple whom uve had before and u've now broken up with orm something,Obviously i chose the latter . I rationalised tht since we had "history"....we almost dated but we decided we no go gel cos he is one with a very strong xter just like i am but we neva lacked tht chemistry.

At least we had sampled before, a session stolen even thou officially we hadnt started going out .Saying this guy is a minister for women's affairs is putting it mildly, I almost broke my no penetration rule cos ole boy was just too damn good , wetin!, wht this guy could do with his hands en!i no fit prophecy its a case of experience na best teacher,if only to have this on the regular, abeg i fit date the guy,seriously!
Kissing...on a scale of 1-5 ....i give him 4.9
nuzzling and knowing how to use his tongue.....4.9
infact let me not go on for fear tht he might be reading this and his head would be swelling.

I didnt even know when I "offed" my clothes and bra and "payint" by myself o....to borrow jenifa's words, we were evrywhr, his study, sitting room, floor, bed,name it...i didnt believe i had tht side to me...

I was just answering un asked questions with my yea yea, yea!oh yes!
Prophesying all sorts.....Jesus!...and I'm not even a xtian o
swearing! at no one in particlar damn! shit!, fuck!

If I WAS SHOWN A VIDEO OF MYSELFI WOULDA BEEN ASHAMED.

Even though his member wasnt inside me at any point i felt thoroughly fucked.my skin pores even breathed easier....I felt my skin soften.....did I mention he also gives a bad ass massage.

Didnt know having light feathery kisses trailed down ur back could be so.......damn sexy, my toes were crawling.....I hope I would have this kind of sex with my hubby o cos now tht i've known thisa I wont want to settle for less.

S.W.T

2009-04-22T08:02:00.003+01:00

He was my s.w.t –(sexy without trying)

I was his d.d.g – (drop dead gorgeous)

I was his Bonny

He was my Clyde

If he was archilles

Then I was his “archilles heel”

I was his Jada

He was my Will

I was his Juliet

He was my Romeo

.......fast forward to the present......

Text message:-“ U told T’s friend I was desperate 2 come to your house:-that was cruel.
U put our conversations on speaker:-that was low.I dont really think I knew you.

Excuse me boss you have a text message

“My world does not revolve around what people think of me.I cant remember putting our conversation on speaker@anytym,I told him u wanted to come 2 collect T’s cheque & even said u would come with ur boyfriend.my 1st year at my workplace I was being crucified as the relationship breaker by this friend& i neva confronted you abt it,when ur boyfriend called,dis friend was with me& i said to him, I neva came in the way of his relationhip.What a way to let me know ur around.Pls focus ur aggression someplace else.

Now to a brief preamble which would help in understanding this post

REMEMBER THE DEMON,remember my Bro post,remember a post where I was woken up in the middle of the nite confronted with a txt I sent& received....it was all the demon. Last time I spoke/communicated with the demon was 2 and half yrs ago.....boyfriend and I which was being referred to were having serious problems cos of the demon...I was still in love with him..Boyfriend actually called the demon.....said the demon said I was the one still contacting him, ...(this wasnt true btw )tht we had broken up...,he was contacting me too, though he made more of an effort to move on than i did...he also had a girlfriend.Funny I didnt realise I was in love with the demon till I started dating boyfriend....BOYFRIEND AND I even got engaged even though I realised later I still had feelings for the demon.....theres a lot of bitterness cos it involves my brother....he lost his friendship with my brother when everything blew open cos I’m very close to T SO i TOLD HIM everything EVENTUALLY WHEN it was all over.cos we kept lying to T tht we didnt have anythn goin on.Ironocally T introduced us unknowingly but did not want us to have anythn to do with each oda but we had opened pandora’s box.T’S friend is his colleague at his current work place and also happens to be BOYFRIEND’S VERY CLOSE FRIEND.The last gist that broke the camel’s back was Boyfriend actually telling me tht T’s and his mutual friend said he put our conversations on speaker and he said I was desperate to come to his house even after we stopped seeing.I neva confronted the demon for a year since I heard , it helped to hate him and forget about him,until now...which brought the txt messages.
In conclusion,

All I feel now is this DIDO’S SONG

See u when u’re forty-actual title of the song incase u wana listen to it.
I’ll highlight the relevant portion of the songs with a lil explanation

Idrove around in circles for 3hrs
It was bound to happen that i’d end up at urs.........then that is,when the love was still sharking me.
I temporary forgot ther’s better days to come
I thought that i’d give it just one more chance....not really,given up on tht long ago
Cos I want tonite wht I’d been waiting for Would I find tonite what I’ve been warned about...... the stuff they said he said/did which led to the txt anyways
You think u are complicated,deep mystery to hold
Well its taken me a while to see u’re not so special....pretty much wht i feel now
....fast forward the lyrics to
So see u when ur forty...lost and all alone....frankly thts wht i wish him
Being comforted by strangers who never needed to know,not sad cos u lost me>...more like i lost him
Sad because you thot it was cool to be sad
You think that misery will make you stand apart from the crowd....as in causing me misery cos i’m not sure if he’s miserable...thou i wish
If you had walked past me today,I wouldnt have picked you out...he claimed he saw me recently in one of his earlier txts and tot i saw him but i swear i didnt.....so I wouldnt have picked him out
Now i’ve seen tonite,how could i waste my time.......waste my time sending tht txt in the first place.
Cos i’ve seen tonite ur just a boy, not a man.......his response.........very childishAnd i’m not coming back.......yep

excerpts from my teenage years

2009-04-14T09:48:00.004+01:00

What is it sef, i must to blog today...haba na me be the CEO of this company?

My teenage years was very interesting come to think of it, i was young , i was happy and i guess, I was foolish.lol.Like a true arian I had lots of experiences/ adventures.here are some memorable ones

Foolishness
1.I had this class crush, looking back now i think it was mutual, we used to talk more philosophical stuff and the likeness was based more on intelligent boy likes intelligent girl...u see i was very smart for my age then and not so shy but very bold and outspoken.lets call him Etnoka, to me he was cool raised to the power 99, he didnt dress spetacularly but i was kinda of a nerd lover, i loved my guys brilliant...he used to write me poems and steal glances at me...he used to awkwardly look for moments to share a laff here and there with me....and wait for this i used to stalk him...back then it did not feel like stalking to me.
I would baff up walk the distance of say from ikoyi to vi, i was very athletic then,i would walk the length of his street twice hoping to catch a glimpse of him...my lil sis used to tell me that "wait na, ok if he now comes out one day and sees u on his street, wht will u say.....em...emm...i was just passing by or wht...wouldnt u feel stupid?!I used to argue then tht i could always claim i had a friend on his street....blah blah blah...seeing him made my day.....i used to see him sometimes and make sure he didnt see me.....so much for puppy love.i was 14....ma mother must not even hear of this.My mom that saw me and my sis watching one show on t.v,The setting was nite-club....we were in out of uni then o....All of sudden we saw madam A.....THTS WHT i'LL BE CALLING MOMSIE..clapping her hands together saying ...orisirisi....these girls tht they sent to school to go and read, they are in the nite club dancing with men.....she then snapped her fingers.....God forbid my miz-cynic and C(MY SIS) be like this children....Thank GOD i BROUGHT UP MY KIDS VERY WELL..
Needless to say I just turned my head to look at my sis and we both burst out into lafta.....In our minds we echoed...indeed!boya le mo(if only u knew).lol .

Youth...(for want of a term for ..."be young")
Like my mom will say "nigba ti mo wa ni omididun(apparently omididun was where she grew up as a young lady)...this translates to "when I was in omididun.In my days I used many a guys to "tayin"...this means to do yanga....to rubbish...e.t.c.If you fucked up once...no mercy.....I just fashi ur side pronto....I was young...and i felt like I could conquer the world.
I never fell in love with any one and i used to show guys then
I remember one episode one guy who really liked me but was afraid of my mouth, cos men! was it legendary....even my mom used to say she doesnt know how I became like this....tht of all her kids I was the last to talk coherently and even then i used to sound very funny cos of my voice...for the yoruba peeps....she used to say I talk like an "osanyin"...this translates in english to mean a funny ancestral deity tht talks funny.anyways....so this bros decided to follow me all the way from lesson to my house a good 30 mins walk....

I kept feeling someone was following me but each time i turned to look i see like a mirage of someone darting across the street..Finally when I got to my house....I saw him....He came towards me and said...'I LIKE YOU A LOT...HE NOW HANDED ME THIS BOX OF CHOCOLATES....that was when ur dearest cynic got really angry and started to rain abuses on the poor boy..."ehn ehn...tht was why YOU NOW FOLLOWED ME FROM LESSON TO MY HOUSE....u must be desperate o....SO BECAUSE U WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS....YOU NOW BROUGHT CHOCOLATES ABI...AS IN IM A PROSTITUTE...WHO U'LL ONLY GIVE CHOCOLATES TO SLEEP WITH....before i count to 10 , u had better carry ur stupid self +ur chocolates and disappear into thin air. nonsense!I was 15 i did not know better.

This young man i ended up dating4 yrs later...It took him that long.lol.

to be continued.

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG.

2009-03-29T17:01:00.004+01:00

its sunday, im free so what better thing to do than to blog.

im gonna use a style of blogging i rily like made popular by......

you're lonely..im not.then why is it that on ur birthday weekend u chose to spend time alone and indoors....well that wasnt my initial intention,but unfortunately it turned out that way......why did u not hang out with that guy,he seems sincere........he loves u.....duh!he loves me ke! when did he meet me,not to talk of falling in love with me....abegi guys are all the same jare.....maybe he's now desperate and has now realised that "oun ti ko..... o ti gbo bii gbure bury.".....dont think so...he told u tht not too long ago there was this chic who loved him so much and wanted to get introduced to his mom pronto......so wht, is tht why he also "threatened to introduce me to his mom....."threatened ! ur bad, u say tht like its a bad thing.......he's beginining to reek of desperacy......introduce me to his mom.....already saying he loves me......so whts ur problem with this guy sef......initially it was tht he's not goodlooking at all at all...but lately im beginning to think conversation wise to, he doesnt inspire me, he kinds of bores me......u're choosy!.....thts the way the cookie crumbles

so wht do u want to do with urself...... i wonder if i'll ever get married,seriously,if i dont get married before 30 i just might neva,"marriage gan sef ko wu mi lori"(im not that tripped about marriage).......it was ordained by God o......thts the only reason now why i would get married......what about companionship?u wouldnt have been so lonely on a bday weekend....well yes mayb.......but then again mayb not......i broke up with Sidney on my birthday 2 yrs ago remember.....oh yeah i can rememebr tht one, it was baaaaaaaaaaaad,u asked him outta ur car....u threw the bday card he bought for u at him,maybe in ur subconsious,u dont wana be happy.....who doesnt want to be happy, bone! thr is no human being on earth who doesnt want to be happy...infact i think all we do on earth is simply a constant strivance to pursue happiness .

ok so why did u also have to break the bad news to this one too on ur birthday...ur mean!...i had to do it......very clean and clinical cut neatly done via a txt message so it would not hurt so much cos i can see bobo don deyn imagine himself inlove with me......how convenient!after u collected his cake.....speaking of cakes....i havent even eaten the cake sef.....its pathetic, i dont even have anyone to eat the cake with sef....i havent even cut it.....cake tht u will even be afraid to cut...looks like something u should only cut on ur wedding day....lafffsss...ur bad rily!.....didnt u see the cake had 2 layers....the top layer was the shape of a heart....if only i could will myself to fall in love with this guy walahi......instead i find myself thinking of the demon.....speaking of which my bro called me and started badgering me about when im gona get married....if only he did not introduce me to the demon, if only i was not so curious and adventurous....if only i did not fall in love with the demon......now they're wondering about the demon.sorry,couldnt help it

i'll stop this post here , im getting emotional.

p.s:-this post is to show someone out there tht sometimes i can be mean.so sue me!

its my party and i'll cry if i want to

2009-03-27T11:01:00.001+01:00

Yay1 TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.

sorry i cant post i'm so busy,im getting literally slapped with work.

larer.

RANDOMISITY

2009-03-20T11:31:00.006+01:00

PEEPS.I cant believe I'd ever be this busy as.in I've not been able to post for more than 2 whole weeks....men! thts like a century in blogsville,I going freestyle today so I'm gona talk about anythn and every thing

There's this my biatch of a colleague whos as obtuse...no wait...insecure as scenarios like this

in a group of guys and girls gisting laffing,she goes

Moji:-If I were a guy , I wouldnt even go out with you.

moi:-say wht!(trying to close my mouth tht was hanging open........as in whr the hell did tht come from kinda expression,

moji:-you're too flat chested for me

moi:-but moji....max! ur just a cup size above me as in I'm a C cup and ur a C and half.(wtf!silly ass girl )now saef she's the C and I'M D.wtf!

anoda scenario

moji:-u need to be sucking in ur tummy o.....

moi:-i do a double take cos now im dead sure her tummy is not flatter than mine........and i say,
moji "abemi?"(could it be me)

moji:-me i have given birth to a kid o

rily pissed and pained i wait for when i get my own

i over hear her telling someone

"leave tht kobikle...as in tht was the way she pronounced it(with the letter u changed to 'o' as in o for orange...so i say...also very loudly...madam moji, its not kobikle...its cubicle.

i figure 1-1

It also got me wondering is it me or does she do this with others,only for a girl to come to me 2 days later and say....."mizcynic......why is this chic so bitchy sef...i say whc chic...she pointed to moji.
moi:-wetin she do u?
chic:-imagine o , yesterday i said i want to hitch a ride with moji and her husband....tht was how moji told me to go and wear my jacket(after closing hours o)over my top...and not seduce her husband.and topped it with...all u have are ass and bom...u have no shape.
moi:-sho! na wa o...and i thot she was like tht with only me.

my conclusion;-biatch is just a very obtuse,insecure and jealous biatch.

another random thot tht crossed my mind is that....my sis and I whenever we see a guy, in a movie or at a party or something...mayb drives "eki"..(rough) for us on the road or is doing something weird or otherwise.....our usual saying is ...."mi o le date guy yen",meaning-i can't date that guy...its not as if we have a "bevy"...of guys in tow or something o...quite the contrary but whenever we see a guy...we are able to immediately size him up and say"mio le date guy yen"...like he said he wants to date us!.

I have this boss....we're very close and we be going for a parri sef next saturday sef together....my other colleagues think she's very strict cos im almost always caught in the middle...so one day i try to tell her jokingly tht sometimes...it seems to pple tht ur too strict and I'm the only one who gets along with you...why are u always tht strict now...blah blah blah...u could cut them a lil slack u know....

her response was"mo ti pe ni banking industry o mizcynic....very soon mo ma to gba awon entitlements mi...wait for this!....dont know if u've all heard it but i neva until tht day..."mi o le wa fi iso kekere badi je".....(llllliterally it means...I've spent so long in the banking industry o...WONT BE LONG BEFORE I COLLECT MY ENTITLEMENTS...I CANT COME AND USE SMALL MESS TO SPOIL MY YANSH."....i burst out laffing...so thr u have it my colleagues...biffers of my dearest boss..."won o le a fi iso kekere badi je.lol.

What is it with guys and bra size sef....my sis was chatting anonymously with some guy on the phone....

guy:-so where do work?

sis:-tamedo & lagbaja trading ltd.

guy:-i see....so whts ur bra size?...just like tht!...in the same breathe as where do u work like he didnt hear her response well and heard "y-not niteclub instead"..idiot oshi...randy pig!.

THE EXPERIMENT

2009-03-02T11:25:00.009+01:00

The experiment:-To determine whether it is necessary to play games at all where relationships are concerned-the female perspective

Aim:-T o find out whether ity is necessary to play games in a relationship.

Materials:-
1.3 unattached,single,looking for a relationship and free to be in a relationship emotionally GUYS
2.average looking guys(this is to eliminate the possibility of it being their looks that make them behave the way they do....)
3. a female:-(also average looking:-this is to eliminate bias on the part of the guys and to eliminate the affordability of the girlto overplay hard to get.)
4.A three weeks relationship each(each guy with the girl concerned)

Procedure
Girl meets Boy,call him R1,they chat and find out they have a lot in common and girl finds R1 attractive , just like R1 also feels that Girl Is attractive.

R1 calls girl incessantly and they have great conversation, he also sends texts frequently to girl and girl replies.....girl plays first card which is to reply his texts but not call him.....

R1 keeps calling and every thing seems fine until suddenly.....R1 stops calling and texting and maintains no communication at all....at first this worries girl and girl thinks of calling...but girl now gets annoyed and says wht the heck.....this is the beginning stages.,he should do all chasing.A week passes R1 still doesn't call or txt still.......Girl chins....

Then after a week, R1 sends a text....."hello, how are u doing...just said i shd say hi"...wtf.!

R2 was introduced to girl thru a mutual friend,after he complained its hard to find a girl of same religion he likes, he does the chasing actively because he knows hes the man and he gots to.....girl also reciprocates by replying txt msgs but once again plays tht card of not calling...everythn goes on well as they have great conversation ..all of a sudden R2 plays tht same card , not calling or txting for a week,girl misses him but thinks wtf!...
coincidentally R2 txts exactly same day as R1 with a txt tht read thus "salam alaykum girl"....girl ignores txt and he calls with some bullshit story of the silence was supposed to be a test.once again wtf!

CONTROL
R3:-this is the control....hes supposed nice and its a fairytale story....girl lets down her guards and she thinks R3 does same too..she is plain and very open about the fact tht she actually likes him and wht not...just like he also proclaims....come 4 weeks .....R3 stops calling, txting...girl does all calling/txting with the excuse he is busy....gradually R3 begin to show withdrawal symptoms....and does not call anymore.

Results
In GIRL VS R1, the guy polishes up his act and is now more serious than ever, girl is seriously considering a relationship with him but does not call him or txt him first......R1 is ever more attentive.

In girl vs R2,same results occur.

In the control however, it was noticed that girl's heart got broken

ASSUMPTIONS
1.Handsome guys are egocentric,conceited and arrogant,ugly guys overmake up for their ugliness and are thus overtly nice,naive,inassuming and humble...therefore for the purpose of this experiment...an average guy was chosen....which equals"normal guy"
2.All other factors are equal.i.e ceteris paribus being financial and social status

Conclusion:-It is necessary to play some games where relationships are concerned.

10 NEW THINGS I REALISED ABOUT ME

2009-02-20T15:29:00.007+01:00

I an naive>>>>>very much so...sometimes i feel like giving myslef a knock on the head.....not every guy with an interesting mind will make a good partner....physical attraction plays a very important role....damn it cynic...i thot u knew better.

I like fine boiz>>>>>>very much so....cynic! wake. up!..fine boiz are usually the most self assured,egocentric,arrogant sonofabitches.....so why in God's name do u like fine boiz! they are bad news!

I am actually nice>>>>>very much so.....I aarrggh!!i who thought iwas a nasty bitch...actually reviewed something very selfless i realised is happening to me.......i realised tht someone very close to me whom i love so much is jealous of the fact tht i had someone i wanted to marry earlier and since her opinion mattered so much to me,notice i said mattered......i let go of tht person(long story)...and ever since i realise this person just does not seem comfortable with me getting married before her....now the nice part of it is actually tht i love her so much tht i wont mind sacrificing getting married even at 35...just so this person i love so much and im so protective of...can have her happily ever after before me....note! she's younger o...how sick is tht....me sef i didnt realise i can be this nice.it sucks!

I'm EMOTIONAL:-i used to think i was stone cold steve austin...until.....recently....I CRIED FOR A SILLY MOVIE.....CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC!imagine!

I'M QUIET:- ...actually this should read as i can be quiet,I have this chatterbox of a colleague....now i know i like to talk...very much so!...remember gisting is my past time but men! can this girl talk!........she talked to me one day to the extent tht my enthusiasm was diminishing at the rate of 5 comments per 30mins to 1 comment per 1 hr to outrightly ignoring her and doing something completely different....like keeping mute....so im very very quiet around her.

i like red:-i find tht recently i wear more red than usual.....been rocking red lipstick too much recently...also have this"itele apoti"(d baff i'll kack when i wanna meet ...say a president...probably Obama.)...its in red.

I like my own company:-I CAN BE VERY COMFORTABLE in my own company...i do a variety of things to entertain myself.....read,not watch t.v,browse,write down my thoughts,write down grocery lists as if im a pretend housewife and figureout how much i'll need for house keeping,watch porn.,e.t.c...i was indoors one saturday....in my room and i put off the light and no one knew i was indoors...and it was bliss for me.

I am close to my mum:-as much as i would love to deny this....ask my sis.....she and moms are like cats and dogs while we're like bonnie and clyde and i swear it all crept up on me....i even told her the real reason i broke up with my last ex.........told her i was still emotionally attached to another while dating him....i just realised...im close to my mother!aargh!

My friends have jaboed me:-not that i care....i guess they realise i'm not the calling-calling type......here goes last time i called my supposed best friend-last week!,my sister(d one i dont live with)-6 months ago,my bro:-5 months ago,my other bro:-5 months ago...note i get to communicate some way or anoda with them...which is all tht matas right!...i yahoo messenger them, they call me(more of this).....wht have u.

I can be a size 6 in no time if i wanted to:.....im on a diet now and iv dropped a dress size in 1 month....but i dont want to be size 6....i wana be uk size 10 thank u.

adventures of lil miz-cynic

2009-02-07T07:47:00.006+01:00

lil miz-cynic was skipping down the road with her aide camp(her lil sis).....skip skip skip skip.....they ran into 2 lil kids..(sistas )and 2 more lil kids came out to play.lil miz-cynic stood by and said to lil sis...."lets watch how they play."..lil girl A says to lil girl B "remove her pant"pointing to lil girl C....lil miz-cynic watched with her mouth hanging open...as lil girl A started to lick lil girl C'S BOM-BOM.....at least for a full 3 mins....lil miz-cynic closes her open mouth and moved forward with lil sis pointing to lil girl B...she yelled.."bottom opener".....then to lil girl A .."bottom licker"nyama!...even though they all became friends....lil miz-cynic neva allowed bottom opener and licker to have their way with her or her lil sis...and told all of the neighbourhood kids about the incidence and they were nickname bottom opener and bottom licker thereafter.

"tell us a story, tell us a story....lil miz-cynic tugged at daddy cynic's trouser one day."lil mizcynic....iv exhausted all my stories...leave me alone....pls daddy , pls daddy...cried lil miz-cynic....okay said daddy cynic......(i must mention here tht lil miz-cynic's muslim name is Shakirat)...here goes the story says daddy cynic ..."once upon a time""..."time time" replied lil miz-cynic excitedly......as she gathered all her other sibs to listen to daddy's story....daddy cynic contiued..."there was a shark and a rat......her other sibs burst out laffing.....lil mizcynic was very upset and she started to punch daddy cynic in the shoulders......saying....a shark and a rat indeed!
S-H-A-K-I-R-A-T....shark and rat...a combination of nher muslim name.

to be continued......(my browser is acting up!)

2009-01-29T19:58:00.004+01:00

i got promoted effective 1st jan 2009......now i had always known it was inevitable tht as soon as i get tht promotion i become head of my unit the same unit tht is termed"problem unit" technically u become head of problems, i who was so used being supervised has now become the supervisor.....and wht did i expect...to whom much is given...much is expected.....frankly my branch can not afford the salaries aS ABOUT 6 PPLE GOT PROMOTED at the same time...i had always thot tht before tht time came i would have left the company or somthing but it seems tht the more i tried to leave the stickier the "superglue" they must have used to tie me down becomes...so much so i begin to think to myself..."abi won ri ibi mi sibi ni""....now bumight take tht...translate....!before u start luking for yoruba dictionary i'll tell u..."did they bury my placenta there?" ...

in two weeks i begin my sojourn in "problem",,,,as in literally.....this sojourn has taken some to panti,led some to be disgraced by pple not even old enuff to be their first daughters(remember baba ondo), it has also led some into the beds of their superiors...all in the name of looking for favours....in d same vein...i wonder , wht sort of head of problems will i be?...i know i'll be overseeing at least 3 pple....who are in their own rights...heads of their own "problems",even though they man the seat all alone.....I cant help but think this is the time to be closer to God...and shed some of my goofy...,lay-abt attitude(I too cAN BE SERIOUS O),,,,but wait o...i cant afford to loose tht my goofy edge cos thts wht keeps the work going and keeps u on top of the job and not the other way round. I would like to think the 5 years tht i worked as surbodinates to about 5 or more different head of problems should have prepared me for the daunting task ahead...but if i know anything for sure.....5 things
I would not be the sort of H.O.P(head of problems) 1. that would become so scary to her surbodinates tht coming to work each morning would be like going to fACE A FIRING SQUAD.....I.E MY 2ND TO THE LAST H.O.P
2.I DEFINITELY WOULD BE THE SORT THT WOULD WELCOME..useful...and i mean only useful sugestions from her surbodinates.
3. the sort to teach and be a mentor to them
4. not allow the problems overweigh me to the extent tht the "desk" no longer has a human face.
5. tht would not be able to shield/protect my surbodinates and act as their voltron if need be when the higher authorities are abt to strike...i.e awon iya...and i mean awon iya osoronga.....right at the toppest top.

so eyin guys...wish me luck.....but trust ur girl...my c.v has started flying places....i gotta get outta here!aaarrggh.....won ri ibi mi mo bi ni...5yrs!

JUST MY THOTS

2009-01-18T15:31:00.003+01:00

what shall i blog about todAY.

I've come to feel like i know some bloggers thru reading, commenting,teasing and all on their blogs....Feel like doing something naughty...I want to write abt some of my favorite bloggers...im doing the male bloggers today..I want to write a lil of what i think they're like or lemme just say wht i'd like to think they're like.

Chari:-If i could describe chari in word, I'd say very"NAUGHTY".bUT i think inside that naughty young man is someone ambitious......who probably has a rich dad but sill wants to make a big success of himself all by himself.....He's funny, humorous....wiser than his years...cos before I met him I actually thot he'd be in his late 20s and then i saw him and saw tht he's in his early n twenties with a lot of life experiences even more than his older counterparts and I see him as someone who's down to earth although will probably do the whole designer effizzy guys do these days and definitely make a very attentive boyfi. big ups buttercups....ur a lucky girl....I remember the collabos with esn tht got me laffing and thinking this "butter" boy too wan de form ajepaki.i ALSO SEE HIM AS SOMEONE WHO'S LIBERAL AND SENSITIVE TO PPLE'S FEELINGS...NOT JUDGEMENTAL and who can see things objectively.

Rethots:-I would say rethots was not one of the bloggers i used to read religiously until recently...and i found tht if i were to describe him in one word...it'll be "EFIKO".i USED TO THINK HIS IDEAS WERE VERY RIGID AND INFLEXIBLE UNTIL I REALISED HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE PPLE THT MAKE U FEELthey just wana make u feel they are always right without actually meaning to.He has actually been one of the bloggers tht i see mails frm in my box....whether he's polite to a fault ni o ...i dont know but i see follow-up mails which i neva do...and i thot to myself.....the feeling bigger than u vibes i get is because thats just the way he is ....he has a very complex mind......One comment that rily struck me with rethots was when i was actually talking abt one guy tht i read his chat and fell out with was "do u love him" in my mind i was like rethotssss..ki l a gbe ki le ju...someone i just met....but he's someone i can actually talk to and go to with a problem if i have one...

Baroque:-I dont think i can put this person in a box ...but if i were to try the one word would be"INTERESTING"lil wonda u get the feeling...he's perpetually flirting with all of blogsville females half the time....his posts are always interesting reads for me...and one disturbing post frm this guy was the one abt ....continuing to hammer one girl even though she clearly said stop...and i think to myself....he'll have to do a lot to explain with tht one...he must really have charisma though because.....soon enuff all of blogsville forgot abt tht post and moved on .he seems like a fun loving guy and also a very intelligent and intuitive one... he tries to mask his sensitivity under a mask of male ruggedness but he also reveals this sensitive side with some posts about a girl he loved and blah blah.vanity also seems to be a part of this guy and i see him as someone whom first encounters will count with and if he likes u a first time , it'll take a lot for him to shake tht feeling...i might be wrong though...its just my thots ...remember.

Tintin:-I came across this guys blog too very recently and i love reading it.very young and vibrant interesting read.He has a captivating nature...and a very healthy dose of enthusiasm abt life although this might be cos i think he's quite young and still having the time of his life.....my fav post was tht one he was talking abt male vs female opinions on third base or something of the sort....it was a very interesting read..WEll i see him as someone who gets propositoned by females quite frequently so I think he's probably handsome in a mesmerising way...probably has a good body too....

FBA:-I might be partial here but i think this guy is as real as they get so my one word for this guy is "HONEST'...as in he says whts on his mind without mincing words...can also be very goofy AND PLAYFUL..he seems like a guy tht would be very strict in relationships ,expecting to get as much as he gives and expecting 50-50.He seems like he's be friendly and outgoing and would also be very sensitive to pple's feelings...He seems like he would be very passionate abt anything he does with a philosophy of wht is worth doing is worth doing well.which shd include...love making too i hope.lol.

musco:-i ACTUALLY MET HIM TOO AND HE SEEMED VERY QUIET AND PROBABLY DEEP.i notice on his blogs hes also not too tactful....if u put up a post and he has to comment...he does not sugacoat...u'd almost think he's admonishing u....but its a ll cool cos id rather true words than suga-coated ones

ALOOFAR:-ONE WORD 'goofy"HES VERY FUNNY AND HAS THE ABILITY TO CRACK ME UP with some of his one liners....i dnt know if it was him or jAGUDA THT SAID in response to a post frm allied abt one liPs disease guy like tht and one guy tht was yarning some shit...and he said....he shd be slapped either ways....it rily cracked me up....i lAFFED REPEATEDLY....

jaguda:-mr erotic...i like reading his posts cos they are in between baroque and ubongda...if u want a sexy post tht is...its more subtle than ubongda...u know when these hollywood directors say...to a young girl tht is trying to break in..."dnt worry girl...its porn but it'll be done tastefully.

to be contd....i wont even have time to edit.

how miz-cynic got her groove on

2009-01-09T11:05:00.000+01:00

So this time sunday I was looking forward some "rumurumu" as a silly friend of mine calls it....you see i had called up my ex ex boldly,cos i feel very comfortable with him and i know where he stands with me and vice-versa.....

fastforward to afternoon, he called me saying cynic...cynic , red alert....my folks are home....for sentimental reasons he still stays with his folks. his dad died and he wanted to give his mom some time before anoda male presence...her first born for that mata moves out again.also im buddy buddy with his mom since she'd always side with me then when we were dating wheneve we have any quarrel.this made me feel very uneasy with the escapade i had in mind.

He suggested we use their sch(a primary school)....he's the chairman...lol since his dad passed away and we decided to use the headmistress's office....u can imagine how naughty and desperate i was ....sha..we got their ..gateman opens we get in we lock up and down to business.

wont give the juicy details but i remember somewhr along the line reanswering afro's question and confirming that never say never...cos he came very fast and i didnt even notice until i felt cum in my mouth.as in directly in my throat and i actually swallowed ....reflex i guess......eeeew!!!!!!!!!!se! no!....it didnt taste too bad and i immediately kissed him back on the mouth with the same mouth . punishment for letting it in my mouth when he knows how i feel abt it.

Bros and I rearranged clothes and stepped outside ...only to realise that we had been locked in.....yea! by the silly baba gateman...I burst into lafta immedaitely and said ...see my life.if pple ask....ok aunty what were u too luking for inside iinocent little children's school on a sunday.....abi this na sunday sch???

I had to wait for rescue by the second key holder....his bro! who kept smiling one mischievious smile....funny enuff i smiled back.

naughty me.

2008-12-23T10:42:00.003+01:00

hi peeps.....im in a baaad......mood ...no thanks to me......i brought all this on myself....they say tht eavezsdroppazs neva hear anythn good about themselves.so so right......except in this case....i wasnt eavesdropping....i was chatsdropping......

we had a mini squabble....didnt talk for 5 days,like the good girl tht i am i decided to break the ice.i called him....and i said simply......and honestly:"i miss u".......he replied ....me too and so we were back to normal mode........

fastforward to me having some cash to cash....tautalogy i know but wu cares.....so i go to the nearest branch to me which was coincidentally his.......

i walk in its all normal we chit-chat....i cash my money and decide to play with him small.......a chat was up and i saw a colleague who happens to be a friend on his chat and i was feeling naughty and i started to read and reply the chats....as him of course......

by the way we were thrashing an issue abt the oda person not caring enuff blah blah blah( before he went off to do something.)....with him saying....im sure if i was 2 disappear......u wouldnt even miss me it'll be like u specking off a fly......and with me saying......nobody can possibly be that busy.......i call u more than u call me....i'm used to having bfs tht are usually all over me.

back to the chat i was chatsdropping so here is wht the conversation went like...

colleague:-pls call me........

me pretending to be him:-why ....wassap....still fooling around

colleague:-i have something to tell you.

me pretending to be him:-ok shoot.

colleague:-im afraid to say it but this time around i mean it.....

me pretending to be him:-shoot

after like 15 mins of convincing her to spill.....

colleague:-i want you.......

imagine my shock....as in babes now say it oh ha nowadays.....then me i must still be living in my grandmother's days of wanting to be wined and dined and persuaded....

colleague:-...........

me pretending to be him:-whts ..........

colleague:-i wana screw u......

don't know why but i was pissed!

me:-shouting over to boo.and thinking thank God we neva went past first base.......i gotta go.

boo:-wetin dey....tot u were gona close with me.......

me:-something came up....

boo:-ok ill see u off

as we walk towards the gate i say.......someone's gona call u....

boo:-who

me:-i casually mention her name

boo:-probably work related....a lilttle too quickly dismissing it with a wave of his hand.

me:-no.........she wants to screw you.........and i quicken my pace to pik up a cab.....and wave bye to him.

now the question is......why was i fucking pissed!afteralll i did something bad by reading/replying his chat and i got wht i deserved and again.......we hadnt started dating.....also.....it was the girl coming on to him.....not the oda way round.......but i cant bring myself to listen to his explanations which are more like admonishments...."why were u reading my chat.....cynic! thts even below you......i replied on the phone of course....im sorry for reading ur chat.....but i dont wana argue............

trust him to name call......."ur an impostor...reading and replying my chats and leading the girl on........

me:-ok im an impostor....sorryy but i sha still dont wana talk about this........... the other time its are u a celebrity.......now its ur an impostor.....

all in all ...this guy is tiring.....it shouldnt be this much work with someone i'm not even dating yet.plssssssssssssss

Miscellanous

2008-12-05T11:11:00.000+01:00

somthin funny just happend now in my est.thrs dis thick holdup n we get 2 d spot of d genesis and then i see a big truck surrounded by 10 okadas-by d way at d rate dis holdup in my est is going am gona buy myslf an okada soon cos i cnt aford d supa bikes or whteva dy cal it.as i was saying n then i move closer 2 d truck n c one man barechestd lying infrnt of d truck holding onto d undaside with both hands as if his whole existence depends on it,swearing vehemently n saying i wont get up from here today until he buys back my okada.5mins later dse hefty soldiers come n shoot in d air 2ce.pple dispersd but dis man just hung thr,i peruse his body 2 c if he got wounded ,nothing, zilch.i continue on my way 2 d airport shaking my end..wondas shal neva end in lagos,so im leaving las gidi behind 4 a week of fun hopefuly in dubai with ur help.dis is whr u guys come in.i nid ideas,fun places,clubs,places 2 shop 4 quality stuf,info generaly on dubai n yay im on 4weeks vac.turnd 5 weeks cos of al those juicy hols.nigeria,i hail thee.we sabi layabt lol.bera 4 me.gona mis boo but make in miss me smal 2.wink.

oh no u didnt

2008-11-25T19:12:00.002+01:00

2 nites ago,was in dis very very raunchy mood.we had bonded perfectly d previous day doing a marathon of 2 hrs on d phone while i was walking in circles d whole of v.i.I swear I enta some closes i dnt even know existd.imagine al dat exercise n i was smiling n giggling thruout.we talkd bt everytn unda d sun,he was suposd 2 come c me but his naugty bro tuk his car out. fastforward 2 like 9pm dn we started d rauncy sex txts
boo-i knw of phone sex 4 long dist relationships.bt dis 1 we startd...um..cynic can u finish it.
cynic-n i run my wet tongue al ova ur face,ur nose,ur dimple,ur lips,n i stop at ur earlobes,i stick my wet tong in licking in circles.
boo-growls...i bend lower n i tease ur nipls with my fingertips ffing closely with my tongue.i suck gently on ur nipls n move lower....
cynic-oh i so am getting impatient n drag ur fingas lower...
boo-i tease u thru ur panties n c ur getting wet n with a wicked smile i move back n place my tong on ur bellybutton...
cynic-i scream now take me now.i want u inside of me n dn i saw oh shit!no!i grab ur finga n put it 2 my lips n wet it thoroughly then i guide it gently in n out of me..im stupidly wet n i can fil d juices trickly down my thigh...
al this went on o 4 like 2hrs.15mins passed no response n i was damn horny...then a txt came in..excuse me boss u hv atxt msg...
boo-im at ur gate. cynic-its a lie! boo-if u dnt believE me come dwnstairs and find out.kia kia i baff up in my housecoat over pjs n creeped downstairs al d while prayn not 2 wake d house.evryone was asleep n i had 2 open our loud gate. got outside d gate..called boo.
whr are u i say...boo-so u actualy came out!im touchd im in surulere!psheeeeew!

what the....

2008-11-17T15:24:00.002+01:00

im seething, im fucking pissed and i wont be the first to call.....finally iv found out why he has so much scion scion.......yeah im talking abt my new boo. he pissing me off real good.....yeah ...he's scorpio thts why.......and my.......do their stings hurt??????i find tht i'm usually attracted to these kinds of pple.

just had a terrible tiff and i aint calling him no matter wht......i tried to be nicer but as the yorubas will say"eefin ni iwa" ur character is like smoke....its escapes no matter how much u try to hide it.......

we wee having our usual lovey dovey one moment and the next we're fighting.......i once told him to read a post abt my personality traits......he was telling me tht why should he...tht am i a celebrity?????tht thing pained me en!....so today o...silly me....feeling all in the lovey dovey mood now copied some parts and startted pasting it for him to read........he was giggling and laffing up until he got to the bad parts......i mean he didnt expect all rosy....did he./...am i perfect....silly him!....he had the nerves to tell me tht this last part wouldnt cut it with him and i instantly me too i gave him back....double barrel.... ""wht do u mean by it wouldnt cut it with u......did I say I want to date u ??? I said I'm planning to change that aspect of my personality not planning to lose the whole essence of me just to get ur approval........he seethed for like 10 mins and now replied......sorry my bad!.....excuse me was i supposed to start rubbing his head at this junction????/and i ended the whole thing with "whteva"....with a big exclamation mark !

lil wonder my blog crush too is a scorpio....annoying sets of pple...U LOVE THEM AND THEN U HATE THEM SOME MORE......

IM SOOOOO EXCITED

2008-11-06T15:12:00.011+01:00

U KNOW WHEN THEY SAY WHT WILL BE WILL BE. ....GUYS IM EXCITED///////////////tHE GUY FROM MY "IYA O GBODO GBO "POST IN AUGUST....REMEMBER???...THE ONE WHO DIDNT CONSOLIDATE.....IS CONsolidating right now. pls note ...not real names......i had to edit tht .

ayo :HV U CHKD
Imo : SMILES
Imo : YUP
ayo: U SEEN IT?
Imo : JUST NOW
ayo:SO DO U KNW ME
ayo :AND WHY THE SMILE
Imo:UR CUTE..........
Imo:WAIT
Imo:AYO
Imo:WHERE U AT THAT TRAINING?
ayo :AYO WHT?
Imo :CFT AND AMLOCK?
ayo:WHC TRAINING?
ayo:YES
Imo :LIKE TWO MNTHS BACK?
Imo:AYO................
Imo :I KNOW U
ayo:THT WE FINISHED AT NITE
ayo:HOW?
Imo:I REMEMBA SEEIN GU THERE
ayo :DID U GET ME WATER>>???
Imo :AYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ayo:YES
Imo:YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ayo :WHT!!!!
Imo :YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ayo :IT IS A LIE
Imo :AYO SO IT'S U
ayo:THIOS IS UNBELIEVA\BLE
Imo:GASKIYA
ayo :SO ITS U
ayo :I BLOGGED ABT U
Imo :TITI IWAS THE ONE U ASKED TO HELP U WITH WATER
Imo :SERIOUS
ayo :I SAID U WERE Cute but u were staring
Imo :SERIOUS
Imo:AT U?
ayo :YEP
Imo :LAFFS
ayo :WEN I WAS GISTING IN FRONT OF THE CLASS WITH MY FRIEND
Imo :SURE IT WASNT THE OTHER WAY ARD?
Imo :HOW DID U SEE ME?
ayo :I WAS FACING THE CLASS COS I WAS FACING MY FRIEND
Imo :I HAD SOMEONE SITTING ON UR LEFT
Imo :I REMEMBA NOW
Imo :AND SHE AND I WERE COMMUNICATING
ayo :YEP
ayo :ITS A SMALL WORLD
Imo :SHE WAS ALWAYS CALLING ME
Imo :ITIS
Imo :A THIS IS A TRIP!
ayo :YEP IT IS
ayo :I BLOGGED ABT U
ayo :THT U DID NOT CONSOLIDATE
ayo :ALL U DID WAS STARE
ayo:AND GET WATER
Imo:SMILES
Imo :SHEY
Imo :MAN ITI SI TIME TO CONSOLIDATE
Imo :SO U WERE STARING TOO U KNOW
Imo :I CAUGHT UR EYE A LOT
ayo :NOPE I WASNT
Imo:YEAH RIGHT
ayo:LIAR
ayo:U WERE STARING
Imo :DITTO TO U
Imo :MY FRIEND EVEB ASKED IF I KNOW U
Imo :COS SHE CAUGHT U
Imo :I SWEAR
ayo:AN AN
ayo:LIAR
Imo:GASKIYA
ayo :U ARE NOT SERIOS
Imo :SHE SAW U
Imo :AND TOLD ME
ayo :THIOS UR MYY FRIEND MY FRIEND
Imo:I AM
ayo :,,,,,,,,,
Imo :WHY DID U ASK ME TO GET WATER?
ayo :THT MUST HAVE BEEN AFTER U STARED
ayo:AND SHE DID NOT SEE U
ayo:AND WEN I CATCH PPLE STARING
ayo :I STARE RIGHT BACK
ayo :COS U WERE THERE
ayo :OR U TOLD HER ABT THT TOO
Imo:I CAUGHT A SMILE WHEN U ASKED
Imo:NO I DIDNT
Imo :I DIDNT ANSWER HER WHNE SHE TOLD ME
ayo :I CAUGHT A LAFF WEN I ASKED
Imo:I TOLD HER TO STOP MAKING UPP STORIES OF STARES
Imo :NOPE
ayo :OK
Imo :I WAS BEING MERELY CHIVALROUS
ayo:OK O
ayo:I GIVE UP
Imo :THOT UWERE CUTE SHA
ayo :U WONT ADMIT
Imo :NEITHER WILL U
Imo :LIAR
ayo :SO NOW
ayo:U KNOW THE VOICE AND FACE
Imo:YES
Imo :VERY WELL
ayo :IM SURE IF U TELL UR FRIEND THIS STORY
ayo :SHE WONT BELIEVE
Imo :YUP
Imo:I AINT TELLING
Imo :ITS MY BIZNIS
Imo :NOT HERS
Imo :SO...
Imo:NOW U KNOW MY FACE TOO
ayo :YEP
ayo :NOW ALL THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE FALLS IN
Imo:indeed
ayo :IF U WERE NOT SCOPING ME
ayo :U WONT HAVE REMEMBERED THE WATER INCIDENCE SO VIVIDLY
Imo:laffs
ayo:YEAH AND I ADMIT
Imo:i remembad cos it was d only time a stranger spoke to me
ayo:I ASKED FOR THE WATER FROM U IN PARTICULAR
Imo:i was quite low-key there
Imo :y?
ayo :COS U WERE STARING INITIALLY
ayo :AND I WANTED TO KNOW UR KOKO
Imo:and did u?
Imo:miss starer
ayo :nope
ayo :but it revealed u were scoping me
Imo:how did u feel abt not knowing my koko
ayo :sori 10 mins
Imo :ok kid
ayo :now u wished u had consolidated
ayo :im sure u didnt cos of the babe
Imo :no dat wasnt y T
ayo :Y THEN
Imo :i didnt hv a chance
Imo:u were so far behind
ayo :INDEED
ayo:U HAD A CHANCE
ayo:IF I WERE IN UR SHOES
ayo :SINCE U TOT I WAS STARING
Imo:and we didnt hv a chance to sit near each other
ayo:MY EGO WOULD HV TOLD ME TO TRY\
Imo:yes ur right
Imo :u were so cute
Imo :and u had on these sandals i absolutely love
Imo :greco-roman sandals
Imo :rememba?
ayo:AAH
Imo :DO U REMEMBA?
ayo :U EVEN REMEBER THE SANDALS
Imo :YUP
ayo :SO U WERE SCOPING ME
Imo :I ACTUALLY CAME OUT AND LOOKED FOR U TO CONSOLIDATE
Imo:BUT U VANISHED
ayo :INDEED!
SOLIDATING AS WE SPEAK......pls see below.or better still........story continues.........

CALLING A DOG A BAD IN ORDER TO HANG IT.

2008-10-24T13:35:00.013+01:00

Kess,Jojo,Bibi and Fifi were friends by virtue of the fact that they attend the same junior high and were about to take their examinations for promotion onto the next half of high school....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively so naturally their talks revolved around boys most of the time.

Adrian,Kasali,Bimbo and Jack were also friends in the same clique, naturally their own conversations only revolved around girls too.....Kess's clique to be precise. Bimbo was known throughout school for his notoriety.He was a truant,he was defiant,but he had style.Kasali was just plain razz but the clique was very protective of himbecause he was very funny and kind natured,.Adrian was Mr cool....decent, gentlemanly and Mr goody too shoes.Jack was mostly freelance....rolls with the clique only some of the time but he was the most handsome

The most likely of the pairings should have been Kess with Adrian,Jojo with Bimbo....because Jojo is very cheeky, naughty,sexy and just a plain tease.Bibi with Jack(if only Jack knew of Bibi's existence and Bibi would admit to her crew that she had a lil crush on Jack)....as I said Jack.....was not usually with the crew.Kasali with no one and Fifi with no one.

That Adrian.....always behaving like a teacher's pet,obeying all school rules and ish....psheeeeew....quipped Jojo,she was wearing her legendary tight mini,rolling her big ass on her stilettos as usual.....Se replied Fifi.That Bimbo sef...na wah for him o...what do u know abt him....i heard the silly boy can just see a girl on the road....and just start dissing her like that....for no reason o....Don't mind that one one...stupid boy.....thts why he's always failing all his exams...he wont go and read his books....interjected..Fifi.Fail ke!he doesn't fail o...he can be an ass but he's very intelligent o....and i even heard if he likes you....he'll be totally decent to you.....well sha na wa for him finished Kess.

As if to prove that he's the true son of his father....Bimbo was sighted in the distance.....smiling and saying excuse me...excuse me baby....what the fuck is wrong with u sef....ur not even fine.....,he moves on to the next chick.......Hey!Hey!.....the girl in question quickens her pace but trust Bimbo to quicken his too and the girl had to turn back....seeing the girl in question had tribal marks and was quite ugly Bimbo....quickly says...en!.oh sorry...not u...not u... and laughs as he continues on his way...seeing the ladies......he calls out hi ladies......jOJO REPLIES....HEY! bIMBO.

Kess was surprised that Jojo was on speaking terms with Bimbo.....The ladies settled in their class and resume gisting since the teacher was not in yet.Secretly Kess started developing a crush on Bimbo. unknown to her Bimbo too had already told his friends that he liked her.

SO one afternoon...when they were teasing each oda bout .....guys! of course as usual....Jojo casually mentioned that I even think Bimbo likes u sef...."God forbid"....Kess snapped her fingers "tufiaka".but as things progressed....Bimbo kept on sending emissaries to her while her clique teased her constantly...he even wrote her a love letter...which she made sure she tore right when his clique was watching....Bimbo became very subdued and did not relent...even publicly telling his guys tht he really like Kess and he won't give up...until she agreess...only for Kess to find out from 3rd party gist that emanated from Adrian...that Bimbo bragged to his crew that he should be given 2 weeks and he would be in Kess's pants.Kess was now in a stae of confusion and pandemonium and rage.She marched up to BIMBO AND GAVE HIM A PIECE OF HER MIND.Bimbo's denial fell onto deaf ears....so biffs for Bimbo was birthed and Bimbo realised he no longer had a chance with Kess.

Kess was walking to class one morning when she saw a picture tht would stay in her mind forever,ADRIAN WAS CARRYING A BABY....AND HE LOOKED so so cute and vulnerable.....the birth of another crush! she imagined him and her carrying their baby together.

Adrian and Kess became close.......only for Kess to find out Bimbo was innocent and the rumour was spread by none other than innocent looking Adrian....apparently Adrian too was suckers for Adrian,All this was disclosed to Jojo by razz Kasali who felt IT WASN'T FAIR and tht they were only trying to capitalise on the fact Bimbo was a "bad' boy wheras the real McCoy was Adrian .

My peeps oya o....d ball is in your court....be gentle in ur comments cos ....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively, and Kess might just be non other than.......MIZ-CYNIC.

happily eva afta?

2008-10-19T18:42:00.002+01:00

I'm too cynical 2 believe they'll live happily ever after.my aunts i.v 4 her wedding just got to me now through an emmissary from my grandpa at the villa.sometimes I'm so proud of my grandpa,his mind is still very sharp and his writing is even better than mine at 87.whao!wish i could scan d letter sef.You are wondering why its my grandpa who hd 2 send these i.vs 2 us se, my mom and aunt had a big fallout when my mom told her 2 get out of our house.u see my mom thinks this aunt of ours who by d way is 43,was spoilt by their parents cos she's d last born and she feels dis contributed in my no means a small way 2 not finding a husband up until now.Im happy 4 her but cant help wondering about certain thns.1.is she marryn dis guy becos she loves him and/or for companionship.does love even mata at dat age anymo?my silly sis even had 2 mention that if there's hope for my aunt at 43,then there's hope for her at 26-silly girl,she claims its been a while since she's been bn toasted.2.does dis guy hv kids already,according 2 d i.v,they will be married in a gospel church so im sure he is not married at the moment.3.he looks younger like late 30s but then again my sis says men look younger than woman at that age.4.if he's divorced.does he have kids?wil he b committed 2 having more kids with my aunt as she who is nearing menopause or oops 4 all I knw she migt have hit menopause..we are not close so i wouldn't knw.ultimately,im happy 4 her n wish her d best thou i must confess I belong 2 the school of thought that feels that can my aunt truly make any man happy?cos she's a tad bit selfish but i guess :love conquers all.and airi ru e ri,a fin deruba oloro ni.

how violent are u

2008-10-11T08:37:00.001+01:00

D oda day i was reading an article abt domestic violence n all.i askd my colleagues at d ofc dir tots n eish.dy al said i can neva beat my wife blah blah.i cldnt resist adding,even if one day yall arguing and all n she slaps u whai!u wont stil hit her back?dy al startd saying ah me i dnt knw wht id do o.whc brings me 2 d question.how violent are u?id rily like 2 knw frm al ur comments wts d most violent thn uv done.pls d truth or nothn cos some of mine leaves me wondering whether if im provoked i wont turn 2 a husband beater.il site my 2 experiences exp. 1 my car broke down dis day so frm wok i had 2 take a public bus.i was alredi tnkn im in dip shit cos it had bn so long snc i had 2 listen 2 al d charades dat was associated with dat,conductors,evn passengers ish.so i entered wt d intention of not uttering a word.only 4 dis conductor 2 repeated ask me 2 help him pass change 2 dis woman behind me n i didnt budge,d woman startd getting agitated.madam ee de gba change mi lowo conductor now.kilo ti e ma n se awon eeyan to ma n se bi enipe won da ju awon 2 ku lo-madam an an take dis my change from d conductor now,y do pple behave lyk dy are better than odas.ori mi ti kanrin-i was fuckn pissed but i remembered my resolve n kept mute.d nxt thn i felt dis woman push my head n say eyin la n ba wi now auntie-its u we are talking 2 aunty.peeps believe me wen i say twas like anoda peson inside me.mayb my mr hyde side turnd n gave her a hard blow on her nose.i heard it sound n i saw a lil trickle of blood.i have a tn for my head area being pushd write frm sec. sch.needles 2 say dis woman was nw pulling my hair saying we wil fite at d bstop wht wht.n instantly i regretd my action as i tot of my fate with d street woman.she go tear me down 2 bra n pant o cos dem type no get shame. 2 b continued

69

2008-10-04T17:31:00.005+01:00

I put on my 69 top today and a memory came to mind abeg peeps my laptop don dey kolo o i wan type memory i put u mistakenly , to delete wahala , lapy say today o u must pay for all ur mistakes no second chance, my guess is tht im gona have a lot of errors so pls bear with me....u know why i smiled...i remembered wen i was doing my mba at tht god forsaken sch. ta mo taa gbodo daruko(we know it but must not mention it)., thr was this randy man...i know ure thinking me and randy men....he was our operations and somthn somthn lecturer...the course tough no be small..the time wey baba suppose use teach use d koko ...baba will be gisting us about his hey days...granted he knew his stuff but....we were not getting the operations stuff na the dirty dirty talk we dey get and this randy nman no go hesitate to fail us as at wen due....na in man site me for class one day and he was askin one very randy sounding question and now said abi my sista here will know about that....i now boned...at this time the whole class's eye were fixed on me....i said i beg ur pardon sir....this man no relent o...he started smiling...and said 69..dont tell me u dont understand what i'm talking about....tht was wen it clicked to me n...i was putting on a dressy b-ball kinda shirt-top...kinda my fav top...sixty then 9 boldly imprinted on it....since that day baba come dey call me 69...dey ask for me...dey pick on me in a randy manner...needless to say the whole class started calling me 69 plus including my class crush...one bobo with one darn sexy pair of eyes....his eyes were sexy men u know in yoruba wen they say...oluju come and do(this means come and do eyes...and dont ask me come and do wht???!!....before i digress...this baba was gisting us abt how he used to chase cheeks(bottom cheeks) or will i say chics wen he was younger and i very much doubted whether he was talking past tense.then he now said one raw thin in clas..."gbomo fun oyan....gbo oyan fun omo...ani komo sha ti moyan.....he was describing vividly one of his lewd escapades...by the way for my non yoruba speaking peeps tht means take the baby to the breast,take the breast to the baby....d baby should sha have sucked breast...couldnt he have put it in a more classy way.....u can also guess this weresco of a baba thot we were still at undergrad,.....imagine he failed me...his was the only course i failed thruout...he now saw me one day and said se i know i should see him....emi omo ti iya bi to foja aran pon.....eleyi ma ro pe jjc ni mi(me wey my mother born and use strong subcloth to tie ntightly,this one thinks im a jjc)) o as in as i big reach i go come gawk it and do the nasty with him abi....i just boycotted his side and waited till i was graduating.... to settle beta peeps.i have since graduated...oloshi man.c thts why i call the sch a useless sch....in my Bsc days tht one no fit happen....na me go bole kaja school now.. its not his fault stupid old randy man.
Origin of bole kaja.... ONE DAY WEN WE WENT TO MY ISTAS UNI FOR HER GRADUATION.MY GRANDMA TOO WAS THERE.....the mama baffed up to the teeth like say na in daughter instead of grand-daughter(kinda reminded me of "eya mi tika tika...omo mi lomi se graduation"(one razz old woman tht legend had who went to her only son's graduation ceremony...and since her son na local champion...d only guy in the villa wey go uni mama come utter those words.)tht was graduating...needless to say we met her thr sef....she had a shop at ife so she got to o.a.u before us...as she sighted us dressed in our wassap clothes-jeans and top....she now called us aside ND SAID "CYNIC....for lack of a yoruba word for cynic....egbon yin nse graduation le wa wo aso bii awon bole kaja(ur sis is gradating and u're dressed like come down and fight boys and girls).me and my sibs just burst out laughing..

but me i still love my 69 top o...infact im rocking it right now.by the way im going outside to watch dbanj...my sis called me ...while i was lounging at home..tht dbanj was playing at the club(ikoyi club)....na awoof...men! u need to see how i baffed up and landed club sharp sharp.....make somthn else no go dull me.im outta here...sori for all the tian tian.

Whateva

2008-10-02T00:27:00.001+01:00

Our first kiss-on d express..i called his name..s..he was going at.(++..he turned 2 look at me..i leaned over frm d passenger sit n planted a ful wet kiss on his lips..bout 5secs it lasted..watch d road i yelled laughing at my audacity n his.5 mins larer,stil on d express..felt tongue in my mouth.. A lingering kiss..s smiles..watch d road!damn!i laughed .usually i made d first moves,with s i was me,i was sexy,i was daring,i was dangerous. our first make out session-we were playing cards,gisting,..i upped d stakes,..u lose u strip.i won d 1st..he tuk off his watch..i won d 2nd,off d shirt went..by now i was wet with anticipation.i was good at d game but guess wat,i lost d 3rd n 4th and im now down 2 my bra n panties.he lost 5th n 6th,love n basketbal my favorite film came 2 mind..he stood naked...he pulled me 2 him n u can gues d rest

BETRAYAL SUCKS 2....INSTANT KARMA

2008-09-24T12:35:00.005+01:00

for the purpose of clarity, lets give the second Mikun-call him playa playa anoda name Kayode.

Mikun started to kiss her and then touch her and then caress....building up to...their usual form of lovemaking.....then suddenly, he lets her go and says I can't I'm sorry.....I will only be seeing u in my mind's eye as dirty....dirty!...for u to have done such a thin....I'm sorry....then again ....he grabs her and starts to kiss her roughly , very passionately....which was a bit unusual to Shalewa......after a while, Shalewa...says in a quiet voice......stop!....Stop!...this is not u...this is not my MIKUN, i RILY THINK WE SHOULD END THIS...IF THIS IS THE WAY U'RE GONA BE WITH ME...U'LL ALWAYS REMEmER THE TEXTS...ITS CONTENTS AND IT'LL HAUNT ME FOREVA.

sINCE IT WAS STILL LIKE 5AM, bOTH sHALEWA AND Mikun went to sleep again,Shalewa quicly sent a txt to Mikun telling him yawa don gas and Mikun had effontry to say maybe its even better it turned out like this blah blah.. she switched off.til morning...as she was about to forget about the whole episode and give her final apologies to Mikun....thou her heart was truely now with Mikun, and propos e to continue the relationship with a promise neva to see or speak to Kayode anymore.

She woke up finally to find Mikun on the phone..........I think we should meet to sort this out man to man....she's in a serious relationship and I love her very much.....I dont know why u want to destroy what we have.........Shalewa was like....shocked....damn......this is serious....he was calling Kayode up......he wasnt shouting....tht is not the kind of man he was but he was threatening......asking Kayode to leave his fiancee alone......Shalewa sef didnt know she had become fiancee....with no ring o.to cut the long story short....thou Shalewa's heart laid with Kayode, she stayed away from Kaode for 1 month.even during the month sef...na so so check check of phone...tailing of car.....Mikun wan give himself hypertension...."where are u?.......shalewa"-" I'm just leaving my office"".....ok wait for me....i'M COMING.....ONLY TO APPEAR 2 MINS LATER ALL THE WAY FROM HIS OFFICE WHICH is like an hours drive.just to be sure I rily was in th e office.....sHALEWA SOON GOT TIRED OF THE LACK OF TRUST AND CLOSE MARKING SO SHE HAD TO BREAK UP WITH mIKUN(THTS ANODA LONG STORY)....she broke up with Mikun to go to Kayode....but alas!Kayode turned out to be the guy she blogged about....using her favorite songs.....dido,shade,emimem,asa......( u shd read that post)....

so we can all see tht karma is a bitch.....Shalewa fucked Mikun up and Kayode in turn fucked her up.....instant karma.what goes around comes around.....evn thou Kayode did not cheat...he broke her heart still.so all ye biffers...u see i got wht was coming to me.....cos there was one very passionate commentator I had to delete....saying im a whore and what not and i tot ki la gbe, ki lo ju!..sori non yoruba speaking peeps...this one is not as hard to translate as it is to make meaningful so we'll leave it at tht.

BETRAYAL SUCKS!

2008-09-17T18:06:00.004+01:00

pa pa pa pa pa.....(hard slaps)Shalewa woke up grudgingly and slept back again,she is a deep sleeper
pa pa pa pa pa pa...(harder slaps)Shalewa woke up with a start only to find a mobile phone which she could recognise as hers being thrust into her face.....

"Who is Mikun"......

fuck...fuck ....fuck! busted ...thot Shalewa...a mixture of emotion washed over Shalewa as she realised that all sleep had drained from her body and all she felt now were panic, disorganisation, empathy,pity,desperation..panic becos she felt....she was busted!disorganisation... cos of the suddenness of it all plus she was wondering how she was going to answer the barage of questions sure to follow.empathy....cos she realised how poor Mikun must be feeling right now....with that she looked at him properly....his eyes were red...apparently Mikun had not got any sleep at all that nite and he had been crying....rily!.pity....for herself cos she knew the relationship could neva be same as it was again......she realised sadly the rule had ben broken"don't be caught , they used to say to each other...now she was caught, be caught and its over she used to emphasize....now it would be over!damn!.Desperation because she felt she had to deny it with all her being cos she could not stand/bear the hurt on his face.panic....because in the mobile phone she that was being thrusted at her lay all the evidences any juror needed to prosecuted and pronounce guilty as charged.she had forgotten to delete the messages.

The previous night, Mikun had come to pick Shalewa from work where she was facing end of year blues and had closed so late at about 12am....no kidding....Shalewa did not have any idea that that she was going to end up in Mikun's room that weekend...or is it Friday.The only option was to go over to his place cos the drive to hers woulda been too dangerous for her.Shalewa was tired from the all work done that day so she jsut got in had a bath and Mikun cooked dinner for her,sahe fell asleep while eating.

Shalewa collected the phone being thrust at her and began to read...of course she knew the contents , hadnt she typed those same words herself."Sexy, can't wait to be with you, I remember the feel of your tongue on me,ur carresses.....I hope I'll come this time....im so so horny"

"I said who is Mikun!".....
He's just a friend......
just a friend and u're sending him this kind of texts messsages.....I read his texts to u first and I thot mayb...I so wanted to believe its not true...i thought maybe...he was just being funny and the texts were unsolicited....
"Please , I just wana know how long u been seing this guy"Mikun said quietly.....

'Okay, Shalewa said finally....been seeing him for quite a while but i swear to u I didnt sleep with him and I'm not planning to"
"You expect me to believe that...with all this texts....blah blah.....u can imagine how the rest of that conversation went...

Shalewa in frustration said I'm rily sorry Mikun...I guess I've broken the rule....u are free to relieve yourself of this relationship.Whateva your decision....I'll take it.I'm sorry.

'This isnt't about breaking up, I love u , I still want u.....just promise it won't happen again. He was crying now just as she was.

I am Shalewa....Shalewa is me.and this story will not be continued

To be continued.........

a lil bit of me

2008-09-11T14:08:00.012+01:00

I recently came across an article about the zodiac signs and it was either that it was a lil different from the ones i had read previously or I'm older now and i can be more objective about how i view myself so i decided to do a lil bit of analysis on how right on spot the article was...

Aries

element-fire
planet -mars
symbol-the ram
stone-ruby
strengths:-dynamic, engaging and candid

let me start the analysis at this junction before i go on cos there's more and i dont wana loose track.

ok element-fire.....i choose to analyse this in a quirky way......i am not a soft person....and im quite a confident and courageous person and when im angry....i hardly AM...(INFACT A LOT OF TIMES I HAVE TO FORM ANGRY WHEN I WANT to chastise people).....but wen i do....i damn all consequences and my eyes brims wih fury and brimstones men!

planet- mars....another quirky analysis of this.....sometimes even i myself think im from planet mars.....my thinking sometimes could be very different from the next person's...or in that men are from mars and women are from venus kinda way i would qualify for a man cos a lot of folks say i act and think like a man and im tough like a man so mayb i am from mars.....but all na demo o.

symbol-aries.....read my first or is it second post to undastand that one......i won't say more, u know how rams are stubborn....i could be very headstrong and set in my ways especially wen i've made my mind up about something.

stone-ruby

yeah, if it were possible to have the ruby as an engagement ring...thats wht i would like...a ruby ring.

strengths-dynamic, engaging and candid

I am very dynamic so that makes me think that sometimes i actually dont know what i want....this minute im loving something....im content....the next im not and .....very very unhappy until i find another challenge....which brings me to how much longer i'll find blogging interesting.....

engaging-i think im fasciinating....which is why i find a lot of people being easily attracted to me....dont get me wrong im not talking physical attributes but mayb its the way i talk, laugh,think, make jokes....etc...i dunno

candid-tht one is so so true.....i lack tact......infact im only recently beginning to learn it as it is very vital for the kind of job i do.....u see i'm in client services. i spit it as it is,like my life dpended on being that candid and honest about it like im trying to prove a point or something...like im saying that is the way it is, i dare u to bite me.

back to the article
faults-headstrong,impulsive, erratic

my favorite phrase wen im about to get angry,....is "don't try me i can be very unreasonable wen i'm angry"....and im also very impulsive.....that can be very helpful at times...as in i take on the spot decision and i take risks very easily....i'll tell u a story...in my workplace , they placed some cars on bid list and people were given like a month to go see these cars before they placed their bids. what did ur dearest cynic do???i went ahead and bidded for a car for a riduculous amount i had fixed in my head and i didnt even go to see the car.....despite the fact that the cars were on the island and i live on the island and these days im relatively jobless on weekends......at the end of the day.....i got an ok car even better than some pple tht went for inspection....i dont know how tht happened....dont ask me.

I can be very headstrong up to the point that i play the devil's advocate more often than not even wen i myself dont agree with the motion im arguing for ...i do it just for the kicks.
back to the article...
arians love freedom and will accept any challenge,they insist on going their own way and are not easily swayed by reason.their energy can make them seem aggressive, they make good leaders inspiring and caring for their followers but by the same token they do not make good herd members and can be uncooperative in groups.

again i pause here and analyse...

i love my freedom to the extent that i sometimes wonder how im gona cope in marriage...i still feel that idf i get a job in the bahamas today all i'll go whether i have a family or not i'll pack up my bags and leave....thts why my bro always says.. ..any guy tht eventually marries me he''ll say he has finally tamed the shrey....i call it the bohemian in me....i like to do what i want and im always ready for the consequences of my action....my first trip to dubai.....i went alone and i was super-excited even though i didn't know anybody there and i was not going mainly for business but for pleasure, i also like the freedom to take my own decisons, right from when i hit 16,i knew what i wanted in life...i wasn't even an adult then.i have a lot of energy and sometimes wen i see someone act lack-lustre all the time i feel like... wtf.....u know this phrase ...it was in one stupid yoruba movie i watched....there was this chic who had a very niceee..... hubby and a very bad friend wu was always giving her bad advice,....she advised her one day to disobey her hubby....since he was bobo nice and go for a nite party with her(she wasnt married o)...that particular time the hubby...got rily mad and he slapped her ...the guy immediately started apologising..feeling sober ,so she called this her silly friend and told her the story...d friend was like ....o fo e leti ke(he slapped u!)...she now advised her thus.."o mo nkan to ma se...to ba dele ni irole ko ti fi robb para , now comes the phrase i want to put the emphasis on" ko wa dera lebi apere tomati"(look inactive and dejected and very weak like a basket of rotting tomatoes...the kind they sell in mile 12)...as in i hate people who dera le like apere tomati when they are not sick.cos i'm usually smart walking and energetic and when im sick too....i actually dera le bii apere tomati...ask my sis.i also hate being bored and i get bored very easily.and when im making a point i strongly believe i could come off a lil aggressive as in my veins stand up.I like my surbodinates(very few that i have) to be very happy and free with me but that does not mean i condone laziness, when im asked to lead i give it my all but i dont volunter for leadership positions and i'm actually very responsible when in a leadership role, but if i'm to follow .....its not like i dont like to follow but im a rebel by nature so i'll almost always ask why? before i do something d leader asks me to do...and can be uncooperative if i feel a leader is taking advantage of me or the group.

back to the article.....

they are open and honest,sometimes to the point of bluntness.as a partner, an arian is a captivating creature,they tend to get bored easily and will run at the first sign of trouble,often purely to cause drama.they are ruled by their hearts and will follow its mood without much reflection....

i am open and honest so as such i believe i don't have any secrets sef...i tell it as it is ...im so free especially when i know u ...i tell u whats going on in my mind verbatim....thts why its frustrating for me when i feel i can't read someone cos with me u dont need to wish for a magic mirror into my heart and soul cos my words and everythn im feeling is always plain to see...what u see is what u get....i wear my heart on my sleeve so to speak(not in a stupid way o),,,,if i'm happy, its on my face....if i'm sad....its there toooo. if im lost.....i look rily lost,im open and u can almost read me i mean literally like a book,i can't hide my feelings.i think i have a captivating nature as the article implies cos seriosly...im not blowing my trumpets...i have actually broken a lot of hearts in my time.......cos i get tired of relationships very easily......until recently iv dated people for as short as 5 weeks..

when i fight with my bobos then,....i'll be so angry i'll say oya i want to break up with u....cos most of the time i know they'll beg ....u knw a lil drama....i actually even admitted to my last boyfriend when he said "cynic ma pa mi.....ma fun mi ni hypertension..."i said "ololufe ,me too i dont know why i'm like this....i think i just love trouble."

im not matured at handling my emotions...what i feel in my heart that moment determines my mood and when i love which isnt often....i love deeply and when i .....hate....which isnt often either i do it deeply.so i think im ruled by my heart......

so there u have a lil bit of me......or is it.......all of moi.

beautiful girl

2008-09-09T10:12:00.013+01:00

against my better judgement i'll do the meme thing but all the pple I'd like to tag are alredi tagged , so no point.

1. Put Your Zune/Ipod/iTunes/music player on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme .

so here goes....

1.if someone says "is this okay?" you say ?
forever...chris brown....yeah i could....u know especially if he's saying i love u...is this okay?.....do u love me?...then i could say forever...would be kinda romantic dont u think?or from ibiluv's perspective.....he's "doing" u right and he asks ...is this ok?and u reply...forever.

2.what would best describe your personality?
mo gbona feli feli.....dbanj...honestly u guys...i shuffled...it wasn't staged...is it my fault i have a very diverse taste in music?.and yeah!mo gbona feli feli....if u know what i mean...

3.what do u like in a guy/girl?
party rider.......9ice......naah!!! he got to have depth too men!......

4.how do u feel today?
malaria.......malaria ke! bii tii bawo....pls o i no wan sick o.

5.what is ur motto?
street credibilty.....9ice....yes o sometimes I can be gangster like that.......

6.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
why do u cry?.....matt pakora......cry ke?... i'm gangster men! i hardly cry......

7.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
malaria.......haba!madam B and hubby are not that bad now>>>>chei!

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
4 bar statement...chipmunk.....pls o i'm a teetotaller.......dont drink at all

9. WHAT IS 2+2?
party people.......nelly & fergie.....how can 2+2 be party people......dis thn don dey kolo o....

10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
4 bar statement...chipmunk....na wetin i do this chipmunk sef?but she dey nack gordon sparks sometimes sha......

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
i dont wana lose ur love tonite........yaya(doing an awilo move.....can't evn dance makosa nut men! is this cool or what?.....

12.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
sweet kinda something.......yeah....rily sweet kinda something.......

13.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
bugi bugi.......me i no understand that one o......bugi bugi ko! bugi bugi ni!....

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
buzyy body.....p-square.......yes o i dey do busyy body well well about the person i like o ,i wana know all there is to know about them.....

15.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
hero...enrique eglesias......yes o. to my parents i'm a hero o...

16.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
one 2 step.....ciara........ o de make sense o.(and it makes sense o...)........

17.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
here with me....dido....now thats a song i love......so so much so it makesd sense they play it morova......its very dirgish...as in it sounds like adirge....very slow and sober.starts like this......I didnt here u leave.....,wonder how am I still here.......and i dont wna move a thing.....it will change my memories......cos i am what i am......blah blah blah,.....

18.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
don't matter......Akon........exactly!

19.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
aye o...infinity......yes o eyin aye...why do u want to know that one o......

20.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'll make love to you....boyz to men.......na beans!

21.WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

beautiful girls.....sean kingston......I'LLremove the s.....and make it beautiful Girl...

so ciao

I'm tagging.....

geisha song,invisible,chari...buttercups,ibiluv,afrobabe,..carlang,enigma......at least out of these 8 5 pple wont have been tagged alredi.....

MALE BOSSES VS FEMALE COUNTERPARTS

2008-09-08T11:56:00.006+01:00

what shall i blog about today.............???
sorry folks, this fasting thngy is not making me update as often as i should so as opposed to my 2 blogs per week subconsious agenda,I'll even be forced to do just one and also i rily have to do " decent" blogs so my topic for today will be female bosses versus their male counterparts.

The other day my colleague lets call him"eera ngbe sugar"(ants carrying sugar)...believe it or not he(the colleague in question) actually gave himself that name and I could not help picturing what he meant literally...u see this my so called colleague is very tiny...a male(very annoying too)....and actually looks like those ants with big heads(soldier ants ...i think they are called) and again i pictured a cube of sugar....u know how it seems like only one ant is carrying a cube of sugar....he was toasting this babe in my office....and i reiterate...no sentence could have depicted the situation better.not only is the babe a grade his senior in the office......., she's older than him by at least 2yrs and this babe is at least twice his size...picture a lady who weighs at least 120kg.The day the statement came out of his lips.....this was how it ensued

eera ngbe sugar:-cynic...u know i loook at this babe and each time i faaallll in love with her
cynic:-which babe is that?
eera ngbe sugar:-points at chic in question
cynic:-eehn!..that babe!...don't u even see the size of her....this one will kill u o.....u are not even on her level....ur salary cannot even buy her underwear o....
eera ngbe sugar:-who told u that....dont u know that I am eera ngbe sugar.....

and i tot the guy was annoying.......talk about irritating!

Back on track as I was saying about my experienceswith male and female bosses,

I'm gona have to side with the guys on this one,I took a sample survey of my bosses.....the good the bad and the ugly....i tell u cos I've had them all.The bosses totalled 10...at various intervals though...

boss A(male)-
Lucky me then cos I was just learning the ropes, this guy was like a father..he would hardly chastise me...always encouraging me with .....u're just starting, don't be frustrated ,give it time....covering up for me with his own bosses and all....generally giving me no stress at all...even the times wen i was put in charge of some petty purse and money used to disappear due to no fault of mine....i would cry and he would just raise a voucher to cover for the missing money....i neva abused it...unlike some pple,i realised then that....peeps were just too fast and since i was new then....i was their"mugu"....u know now u have to be somebody's mugu .anyways all in all he was the "perfect boss to me"I used to wonder how come promotions neva came his way,turns out that his ogas the "iyas"(female bosses up there)....felt he was too soft as a boss!

boss B-(male)
I call this one Mr happy go lucky...as long as things were going smoothly...he neva brought up funny issues that women will bring in to complicate things..we used to kid round a lot....his favorite phrase was "last e"-"ur last"...which he didn't actually mean. ... he was so jolly and full of wisecracks that i actually used to look forward to going to the office.

Boss C:-
Call this one baba ondo:-He was rotund with a round big stomach and kinda old...he even used to bleach and toast young girls who used to come and visit him in the office,...was even kind of scared of his own bosses but that dont mean he wouldnt cova up ur ass as his surbodinates.I remember one day he called me and said......"cynic..."bawo ni?(how is it) in that his ondo accent..."igba wo lama wa je raisi"(wen will we come and eat ur rice o)...ojo n lo....awon bobo yen nko(time is going...what about those ur guys).....'try ko hook ikan ninu won o"(TRY AND HOOK ONE OF (may Allah forgive me) at this junction....cos i neva could have tot I'll say something raw talking about my bosses....well u neva know...... he now said"o mope ...awa okunrin...aa kin ready o....a maa n redi ni".....for the non yoruba speaking people....u dont wana know what tht means....i'll tell u...it means (we men ...we are neva ready,we redi_in yoruba redi...sounds like ready and redi....means tht they only lay women) oooh ooh its not giving me the rite effect...i mean redi is an amalgamation of "re" and "idi"-re -is a bricklayers term for when he applies cement on blocks to make them adhere....and idi_means .....like a private part....so i leave u to fill in the blank spaces

anoda time the man got into trouble with awon "iya" and he got demoted...cos he went and lost some money due to some 419 transactions he unknowingly did lets call them"cab" transactions....so a new guy on the block now innocently called baba ondo

new guy:-baba ondo...pls im new here and i asked around and some pple told me u used to do a lot of "cab" transactions...pls can u put me thru.

baba ondo:-pls pls pls pls o....:"cab" transactions ko "cab" transactions ni,"cab" transactions (in that his ondo accent) lo gbe de bi ti mo wa yi o....jo jo jo won ni ba tie je(na cab transactions wey reduce me to this level u see me....pls ur own no go spoil...leave me o).....i was just lmao where i was sitting.baba oni baba

to be continued............

Bro!

2008-09-02T08:03:00.000+01:00

Like the lyrics of my favorite songs by sade,dido,asa,eminem....etc

sade:-"I really trusted u and every word u said"

dido:-I've still got sand in my shoes and i can't shake the thought of u

asa-"bimba n ke"

eminem-"will the real slim shady pls stand up"

Like Sade:-Cos i rily let go wen it came to u and I trusted u like I didnt even trust myself, like I felt we were rily on the same page.

Like dido:-cos u said these words to me("I've still got sand in my shoes and I can't shake the thot of u.") afta one long silent treatment we had and u did the contacting first, it made me feel like I was rily indispensable....how very corky of me...even conceited, but I guess when u're in love and ur rily sure this person is worth it u tend to feel this way.

Like asa:- cos I rily cried one day when I was supposed to be on a romantic getaway with my new guy....when I thot I was ready to give another man a chance...u still were hovering by weren;t you...u had not done enough damage right???!Even then I cried cos I couldnt shake the thot of u, I haven't admitted this crying to anyone not even C (my best friend)

Like:-Emimem>>>> cos Ur officially now in my tots as only the "real slim shady"....all emphasis on the shady....and oops the slim.That rily slim body I so loved, slim and sexy and not too muscular...strong arms, ure shady ....cos u kept leading me on even wen u had decided for all my weaknesses which u were supposed to haveloved along with my so very many.......strengths....we couldnt be together........u said I'm stubborn,strong headed....and not submissive enough..... I wonder if u really loved me,weren't u supposed to love me despite my faults.?.....we had a year and half in which u did not mind these faults until wen I was well and truly smitten...u yanked the stool from under me.....we had dreams...., aspirations....together....I remember and yet......u still had to guts to tell me I love u but u're too stubborn for me literally...., MORE OF SHADY COS I THINK ALL ALONG U PLAYED ME....I'm not rily sure but...all evidence points to that.

You literally left me emotionally inept for the next unfortunate guy that came along....it was doomed from the start.......u keep featuring and I hope u're proud now that I lost him too....but bro u didnt get the last laugh.....cos of all the reasons I'll state below:

1.I don't regret knowing u cos I who thot myself incapable of loving any man, of sacrificing , of compromising.....now know that I'm capable of this and more when the right guy comes along....God! I remember I passed thru a lot of phases...afta u....I became more cynical....I was even about to marry someone I didnt love cos I tot I could neva let myself love anyone else the way I loved....loook ...me ...cynic!i'm even admitting that I loved someone....oh my God! thank u bro....u rily made me know myself more and I thank u for that

2.In typical fashion,I'll say I'm more open to love now...and I'm not compromising...I'm not going to short-change myself....cos now more than ever I want all(everything love entails)...or nothing.Love is not over-rated.The greatest thing is to love and be loved in return

3.I also now realise my answer to this trickster:-Lord Bernard Shaw said this long time ago-:"Which is the greatest tragedy?...To get ones heart desire.....or to lose it
Some months back...I would have answered.....To get it cos ...... the cynic that I am will argue that If i had not met u at all...u being my heart desire....I wouldn't have known that pain....that followed afta u left, ... but now I know better....My answer is the greatest tragedy is to lose ones heart desire....at least u would have known love and ...........paradoxically ...bliss......no matter how shortlived.and thus to u losing it will be the greatest tragedy.

the strip club gist

2008-08-26T17:32:00.000+01:00

this is not for the faint hearted, or for the saintly , i intend to use very crude and vulgar language..

so the first thing i saw as i entered was a girl in a white bra see through and a g-strings....oh sorry thongs, she wasnt very sexy looking but men! was she srutting her stuff,i saw someone i knew almost immediately but u know it was one of this like customers or something, so i preteneded like i didnt know him thou he still managed to say to me"u're looking good"' my first reaction was ....an an haba in my turtle neck?????then i tot mayb he just wanted to embarass me for coming there at all, but me i no send i just walked on in,....me that i was still stiffing and all for x i quickly regulated ....as in for protection now ....so i allowed him hold me on the waist and i was like making a mental note to regulate afta tht day......(but that all backfired in my face)....thou tht na gist for anoda day,

on the wall there were 4 screens.imagine , one was playing porn.....as in hard core porn,anoda was showing like all these rap artists and their pornographic endeavours,on the third screen as if to mix / dilute the effect of the sex reeking in the whole room....guess what.....lord of the rings.part 3..then the fourth screen ,some other real life random pornographic thingy...

there was a stage, with the pole and on it i saw one very ugly looking chic, small breasts and very narrow hips, with small ass too rubbing herself, she was still fully clothed/....in her undies i men the typical pink lacy bra....that she did not buy the way do any justice and one small scrap of material that was supposed to be panties...she took off her top and then she was ass or was it rum shaking to this disco kinda song and....i was like ok this is still like cool.....wen then she took of panties too and started masturbating herself on stage and then she slid onto the pole and slid down and i swear all these hollywood strippers sef will give her award for her act, these girls can not be more than 22yrs old each and i wondered for a moment if they lived in lagos, were in school or somethn,all the while i tot i was going to be uncomfortable there but no......i saw anoda babe wu also came with her guy ...even dressed not too differently from the real strippers....then i sight this rily pretty girl and just like i was trying to console myself....(thou she was also wearing only her bra and pant) that she couldnt be one of them,i heard x say:hello,..........meet my girlfriend(abi dis one dey high on strippers...wu be ur girlfriend)...but of course I didnt say anything.....
stripper:"hello, how are u?hope u're enjoying this place...she said to me in a very quiet shy voice with a smile on her face....cynic:"yes i am
x:"she also says u're very pretty....once again i'm thinking abi ori bobo yii ti blow...as in make the girl no dey go think that i'm a lesbian and was ready for action...so stripper just smiled and went off....but rily o....i didnt say she was pretty then but men! this girl was clean and fine and i suddenly felt pity for her.....as in what kinda circumstances could have lead her to stripping and all......well as they say e no dey show for face and also"aja to b a ma sonu, koni gbo fere olode(the watchdog that is destined to get lost will not hear the whistle of its boss;;-the hunter....as i was saying...this girl was dark and pretty....nice breasts and lovely shape,looking innocent, a bit plump.....as in if i were a guy the way i'd like my woman, all shapely and well spoken....., i was still consoling myself...that mayb these ones don't go on stage to dance till i saw her in the next 15 mins mounting the stage........men, she stared straight into my eye and motioned for me ....to come join her.....my reaction was abeg o,....but i was gracious and i smiled at her.....,then i remember the conversation between her and xbefore she went on stage

x:"later u'll come and give me a lapdance
stripper:-what about ur girlfriend
x:-she wouldnt mind...and truely i wouldnt mind cos i dont see him as a potential mate.....but funny enough he was impressing me by behaving himself , not trying to let the mood get to him by groping me or anythn,.....na me sef they cling ...in the manner of ...dont try me o(cos one bobo cheapstake...i dont know whether upon all free and nude asses wey dey thr.....na my own e wan try use idea dey grope) ...i came here with my bobo o, i no be one of them o.

looking around me i noticed one white guy pricing lap dance....en en.. lapdance was 1000 box while just to feel and toch and finger and lick was like 1500, all this was going on in full view of evryone o, the girls were abound selling their wares to the highest bidder.

on stage this our chic(our friEnd) was thrilling, guys were sticking money in her panties, on her boobs evrywhr....

all of a sudden this razz luking stripper walks by and grabs my boobs---and i'm like wtf....x intervened and said i should let her go and reprimanded her saying...."u see me here u no touch me , na girl wey sit jeje u go dey touch"

there was also this very randy and lewd luking door....with VIP boldly written on it....with two doors that could swing open at the same time and ....ur guess is as good as mine as to what was going on inside that door,....blow jobs.....actual fucking, blowjobs...things i do not wna evn think about, wht have u....x was even teasing me that we shd pay and go find out what was going on there....na beans!liver fail me for that one o.

it was bad.,at some point i saw this girl , she was walking around nact as in in her b-day suit all over....obviosly trying to hook one whitey there....she even went as far as to make lewd dances in front of him, sticking her tongue and breasts out to entice him,....i swear it was a vivid picture of how sodom must have looked then in the days of sodom and gomorrah...walhi if i was God also i for don strike all of them...ah hem....me inclusive dead. instantly.......the irony of it was that...just outside and beside that strip club was this pentecostal church banner...inviting people for a crusade.

finally,the rudest shock of all.....there was one act that was going on on stage consisting of 2 girls, they were supposed to be lesbians, one had this penis looking thingy strapped to her panties and the other proceeded to suck and lick and all and then she was doing the normal motion of inserting the thing that by the way looked so very much like the real thin into the other guys cunt, all the while licking and masturbating....right infront of us, this girls were writhing and moaning by the way and even sweating,they were performing oral sex on each oda and it was.....rily bad and disgusting,at some point i got tired of watching the girls on stage i kukuma started waching lord of the rings..i was only grateful tht our "good girl"" was not a part of it.twas very terrible......i actually saw one of the girls cum......these girls are o more than 25 o......as in what is naija turning to.

i wont lie but at some point i was getting rily wet but omo i no show sign o, the bobo beside me sef...i kept trying to see if he was hard.....nothn......mayb twas nothing for him or like my crazy cousin will say ...to him this was refreshment.

so wen it wa like 3 ....after making sure tht x's money did not jona....i said pls let's get out of here.....this was ajeranju(chop and bulge eye) already for my poor eyes......

well sha....we left o......and then in the car we started teasing each oda....were u moved and what not..........ish.

iya o gbodo gbo-mom mustnt hear

2008-08-25T14:15:00.001+01:00

im in desperado mode,hence im blogging wt my phone.u must b wondering y i titled dis post iya o gbodo gbo-mom mustnt hear. preamble-friday was outta d office on ds training thngy.there were several peeps frm my org. so twas a good opportunity 2 mingle so i saw dis yummy bobo-d way i like my blokes-not 2 slim,tall,big strong arms.knda needed 2 catch up n sofo:gossip,with one of me girlfrnds so i was seated facing me n ds guy kept giving me d eye,staring deeply as if daring me 2 look away wt sm knda weird smile on his face. break time came,i swear he got up ,was coming towards me wen one soapy girlfriend also cm n interceptd his move 2 say aah hi cynic..long time-in my mind im tnkn..show spoiler give me d hell some privacy.um.. lunch time also came,i turned back from my food 2 get water,lo n behold mr sleek was also trying 2 get water.he grabbed my glass,gave me one heart meljing smile n said-let me.he finishd filling his glass n passed it 2 me n went on 2 fil my own glass 4 hmslf.al dis mating dance continued o truout d training wt him luking back at me 4 no apparent reason several times. i was darn sure afta d class he was gona make a move at least but silly guy could not even consolidate.abi was he so corky dat he felt i shda been d one 2 strike convesation.or mayb it was wishful tnkn on my part..eyin gvys ova 2 u 4 analysis. bk 2 my initial title blog,got a cal frm dis fervent toaster.as in die hard knda of guy.he said hw wd i lyk 2 make gud our discussion abt my curiosity abt strip clubs-dis was hw he framed d txt-strip club,r u woman enuff? omo i wana dey woman enuf die.sharp sharp i snt reply-wt tym? so x came 2 pik me n madam b was standing at d door,arms akimbo-whr r u going cynic-em em my frnd is celebratn her bday party..its a nite party...if only she knew my true destination.luckily she cdnt have guessed ur girl was decked up 2 d neck with a turtle neck..make dem no go mistake me 4 strip ge.n on our way i was jst tnkn..wt if i c like someone from work or my fathers friend 4 dat matd wetin i go say i com do 4 strip club but trust me dat curiosity must kill me 1st o. so we got inside with x on my side..wt was d first thn i saw...2 be contd.wok cals-i have 2 service dis customers-no pun intended

my quiver full of arrows

2008-08-20T15:44:00.000+01:00

random gists:

a)What is it about my work that brings all tht much insults my way.........
ok,
so like today,this owala guy walks into my office towards my desk,by the way this guy started pissing me off lately by the fact that he has started feeling familiar,he goes on to converse in yoruba as he walks in calling me omoge(in a corporate environment o)and then he starts to sing this song in the razzest way possible, bobbing his ugly head up and down..."i wana fuck u, fuck u , u alreadi know, i wana.....I think my stare and expression forced the song to a dreadful halt on his lips and with me saying in a very cold voice....."yes how can I help u?,....i think the fact that he came to my office yesterday and I was all smiley, putting on my bestest customer service act, pretending like I'm all nice and all gave him the efontry to come to my front all like tht and all, mayb if he were even some hot cute dude with the voice to die for I wont have even minded him saying"cynic, I say I wana fuck u, fuck, fuck fuck , u alredi know....I might have even joined him.....bloody irritant.

b)I WAS IN UNI WHEN THIS ONE HAPPENED

I was in class reading or should i SAYING PRETENDING TO ,wen i suddenly looked up and at a 90 degrees angle to my line of view,.....lo and behold I see this huge cock staring at me,....and i dont mean the masculine gender of the hen o.... , seriously ,my first reaction was to rub my face to make sure I wasn't seeing a mirage or something, next reaction was....I looked up and looked down again only to realise tht this guy was actully sitting beside me just not close to me but the same bench all the same. and he had brought his thn out and he was masturbating.and he was staring at me point blank with an expression which said.....wana join?this penis was very dark and large and quite intimidating that I shouted , wtf is this and packed my books all in the same instant and looked at the next person on the other side of the class nearest to me(cos the class was quite scanty.....she was female tooo so she followed my line of view and said """JESUS,"...sHE ALSO PACKED HER BOOKS,all I could think of was tht at least I have a companion to walk to the hostel area with.....aah it was too much for me I beg. OLOSHI, OLOFO....bliv it or not I ran to the hostel o

C)I'l title this one olowo idan(magic fingers).
My roommates in uni then.....quite the born again xtian type but quite pretty too,...u know all this mid length reaching skirts and scarf wearing kinda sistas,and anoda at least wassap girl, but u knw me I blend with all kinds of people o,we all went to class at nite to to read. I was reading ...at least actually reading this time around, we read o for like 3 hours, I was feeling sleepy but I was also trying my best not to sleep, cos I didnt want to luk like a laybt to the sista we went to read together with only for me to luk whr she was reading and see tht this sista was fast asleep...and I know she sleeps rily bad, as in difficult to wake kinda sleep.BUt to my utter dismay and tht of my other roommates,we noticed this guy( the sagging of jeans, earphones kinda guy...at first he was staring at her a if in awe of her beauty....like how come she looks so sweet in sleep...wen we noticed his hands reach under her skirt,the class was packed full and it was quiet so we couldnt shout or anythn...morova remember , we were reading.This guy was fumbling under her skirt and sista was turning in her sleep from left to right, right to left, we were sure he was well into her clit by now, The thn was paining us but we couldnt take it anymore, the guy's head was on the desk just as hers too was by now,THat was how, me....I couldnt take it anymore I packed my books and walked up to the desk she was being mauled at and shouted(walahi , I was past caring tht the class was full and dead quiet,....just then i notice the guy starting to pretend tht he was sleeping and was prbly sleepwalking, I shouteD sista P,gave the sista ONE very nice abara and said 'Oya lets go to the room"and practically had to pull her out of thr,

On our way to the hostel, I said to wasap girl, was I dreaming or did I just see wht I tot I saw, wassap girkl burst into laughter and said......eeh...olowo idan....and he had the guts to be pretending to be sleeping, whc kind sleep gan sef did sista thnk she was sleeping, we asked her if she noticed anythn , she shook her head, me and wassap girl decided to keep it a secret o, but each time we remeber the scenario , we sniggle and say......olowo idan, so genarlly anythn suspicious we tag it somthn idan.

Finally,

This one is actually quite silly of me but nonetheless,here goes...

customer wants to walk in first, i LOOK AT HI FROM MY SEAT, the door was alredi sying..."pls exit from the cabin as the door is only meant for one person,I snicker.....
He crosses that hurdle and makes his way towards me and I notice....He has a round funny looking face, kinda jovial and smiley,...it was all I could do to stop myself frm laughing,I SAID ONCE AGAIN IN MY PRACTISED CUSTOMER SERVICE VOICE"hOW CAN i HELP U" HE SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ...........can u help check if its redi......
I look up once again trying to stifle my laughter and I say"Whats the name sir?......
He responds.......Mr. AROWOJOBE......i COULDNT HELP IT,.... i BURST INTO LAUGHTER......I APOLOGISED IMMEDIATELY..... THOU.

FOR WANT OF A POST

2008-08-18T17:53:00.000+01:00

W u remebers tht nursery rhyme...for want of a nail....blah blah blah,leson learnt in tht rhyme evn as little as I was, neva leave til mrw wht u can do today

So let me be very unoriginal and lazy and solidarise with a new blogger I kinda like,cos we're both new, I'll adpt his A,B,C style,even in his exact words...but my own answers, most definitely

A.Attached or Single:-single and loving it,relationships are a painnnnnnnnnnnnnn

B.BEST friends:-C(check one of my posts, to find out wu C is )

C.Cake or Pie:-Lately PIES-only the sweet sensation meat pies thou,if not I prefer cakes jare

D.Day of Choice:-Thursday_ the day me I start rejoicing tht its alredi a day to "no work"

E.Essential item-Seriosly-for me cash(tin ba lo kolu omo eleyin nko_'If I go
brush/jam the ge selling eggs nko?"

F.favorite color:-isnt it obvios....green

G.Greatest accomplishment:-One useless MBA wey I get from one (sch ta mo taa gbodo daruko)-"a sch we all know but must not mention"

H.Hometown:yay! I'm from Osun and I'm proud....but oops I shdnt be salying tht(from now i'll do my thngy of putting Letter l in some words i SAY.

I-Indulgences:_Porn......dont ask me....

J.January or July:-July, o jare , make the year just dey fly....and then sometimes I think omo,u're getting nearee to the grave o.

K.Kids:-Yeah,(since i promised myself Im gona b as razz as I can b with this blog.let me remember one Salawa song-Iya ti bi na ke mi naa bii temi(my mom has given birth to me, let me too do my own)

L.Life is incomplete without.......rily as in some pple will actually mention some dudes name abi....here no comment,cos I have a "fry"(anoda silly slang my bro uses)and. here....LIFE.

M.......i'M TIRED JARE LET ME JUMP TO Q.

Q.quotes:-a very layabt quote,dont lagh o..."Be young, be free, be foolish...but be HAPPY!."

R.Reason to smile:-Cos I'm retrospecting

S.Season:-Dry season anyday, I hate rainy season, Tht was how one day The thn no give notice and I was on okada with my newly made braids, it just began pouring, and caning(no pun intended) me mercilessly.I had to shout on okada man's head to pull over.

T.Tag 3 friends
I dont even know how to tag but if i did it'll be ibiluv,invisible and probably boorish male(and the silly boy wont evn update)

U.UNKNOWN facts about me....is tht ur way of tricking me into saying my name....my enemies wont suceed in stripping me of my anonynity....tht Im rily quite sentimental.

V.Very favorite store:- Um I THINK IT'LL HAVE TO BE NEXT...AT LEAST IF THEIR THINGS WERE CHEAPER

W.Worst habit:-Biting my nails....I'm a woman o.

X-ray or ultraosund....Ultrasound na...shhhhsh....wht u dont knw wont hurt u.

Y.Your favorite food-chinese food, I swear e be like say one of my parents must have.... a chinese person cos the way I can be desperate abt chinese food en..I sabi cook am sef

Z.Z:-zODIAC....THE RAM

P.S-PLS NOTE, i'M IMPATIENT SO THR'L BE LOTTA TYPOS, JUST GET THE KOKO OF THE GIST SHA.like one raw guy I KNW WILL SAY ""KOKO ORI E NI KE GBAMU"

my adonis

2008-08-15T15:27:00.000+01:00

TODAY I DECIDED TO PIMP MY BLOGSPOT,....THE RESULTS ...NOT BAD LOOOKIN...

I wana do a series of blogs about guys i dated over the period of like ten yeARS, FROM WEN I STARTED DATING TIL NOW THT IM TECHNIALLY SINGLE.

LETS CALL THE FIRST N

OVERVIEW

uuum let me see,as innocent as I was then I mean I was 17 years old then, i remember,N had a great body, ur regular TDH(tall, dark and handsome) kinda guy,cute dimple,heart melting smile, and he was caring too.I rememebr wht was supposed to be our first kiss, i was still sixteen then, we werent dating but he attempted to kiss me by lowering his head very close to mine but trust omo tiya bi tofoja aran pon, i weaved and he ended up kissing the air,sori brazu(dis is a razz slang i picked up somwhr), it was late at nite so he didnt see my accompanying reaction,
He used to come see me in my hostel then, we'll talk late into the nite but omo boy no go evn get kiss goodbye...luking back now , i was harsh gan o, d bobo go spend like 3hrs talking and all spit go dry , the least I could do was to replenish some of it with mine ...if u knw wht i mean(wink .wink)
I remember one day he came baffed up to the teeth and probably popsie cramped his style by asking him to run some errands so he came late, trust siste I pounced on him ,

N;HI(looking apologetic for his late arrival)

mizcynic: hi(frowning my face bi eni tan so lu(like someone they farted on)

N;-(imagine him in all his 18 yr old sweetness)-mizcynic now what did I do, im sori now

mizcynic:u're always sorry, If u know u wont be coming to visit me often N , U BETTER SAY SO O AND LET ME roll with my campus boys wu hv ben dying to go out wth me o, instead of keeping me roasting afta I hv told my friends u'll be coming, now they'll be pitying me andI'll be luking like one sori case.

N: SORRY CASE BAWO(how),cynic, ure too paranoid I always tell u, oya cheer up now, popsie held me back now saying I had to run some errands he said(stroking my cheeks in tht playful way i loved.uuum those were the sweet days.....these days some morafucker will prbly come late and prbly expect u to apologise for his lateness..uuum the good old days,wen boys were men not now wen grown men act like boys.

most memorable moment with N

I remember this day, I was sick to my guts as in (mo ti ya gbogbo inu mi tan)i had shyted all my insides, I thnk we had bad water in uni or somthn, so I was vomitting, shyting simultaneosuly, it was bad.... ,I looked awful. low and behold came N my knight in shining armour

N;-cynic whts wrong with u, u look bad

cynic:Iv bn in bed al day , looks like i have running tummy or smthn
N:hv u taken anythn , u look rily bad, are u sure we shdnt go see the doctor or somthn.

cynic:-no I'll be fine(I hated going to the hospitals, the sick smell and all, with the air very septic and sterile smelling corridors where instantly u start to pray to baba God for forgiveness so u dont cross to the great beyond just by virtue of the fact tht ure thr.

N:u dont look fine , i insist oya let's go home at least, I'll take u home,I remember I was sitting on this double decker bed, up, he carried me like a baby in his arms like i WEIGHED NO MORE THA A BAG OF BONES WHC i WAS GRADUALLING BECOME JUDGing by the rate i was puking all my insides.

cynic-I'm fi...I rushed to the ladies for anoda bout,female hostel and all U WONT BLIV, N FOLLOWED ME DESPITE THE FACT THT HE WASN'T EVN IN MY UNI, WE GOT BACK ,HE CARRIED ME DOWN THE STAIRCASE OF MY HOSTEL., SOMEHOW UNDER 5 MINS HE HAD A TAXI waiting, he was bloody broke ass student but I can neva forget the bravity , the way he kept assuring me tht all will be well, by now I was resting my head on his lap, puking my insides out all over the taxi,N...and any oda thn in sight, I felt like I was gona die,I remember for some reason he stopped at this bungalow like 15mins drive, his friend , whom I also knew came out and he quickly exchanged pleasantries and we got back into the taxi and heade home, the fare then will hv cost a good 2k cos the distance was like frm vi to badagry,and tht was a lot of moni for a broke ass student(it was later , one day wen we were joking and gisting and yabbies, tht tht friend teased him ,dat omo u must have loved this silly girl gan ni o, u actually came to my house to borrow taxi moni) like him but WHERE i was, all I was doing was praying, dear lord if u get me alive and well out of htis I swear I'll drink only ragolis water henceforth,...omo i still drink pure water sef.

We got home , mom comes out panicked , mom's expression was all tooo easy to read as she took in me, my state, the guy.....im sure the tots in her head was ""oloriburuku boy, has impregnated my daughter o,(cos we landed my house at like half past 8),and has taken her for abortion whc didnt go well cos i KEPT CLUTCHING MY TUMMY,but tht was the day I knew my mom was the best actress cos all this she told me larer o, but she was acting kinda calm and collected.

mama cynic-wht happened, oya lets go with this sme taxi to hospital cos all the cars are out o, N stood firmly, in my sickness I was proud of him,

mama cynic-oya thank u my son(afta listening to me explain), u also luk like hell, go home we'll take her to the hospital.

N-I want to go to the hospital with o, i CANT LEAVE HER LIKE THIS MA, iF MY MOTHER COULD GIVE AWAY HER DAUGHTER RIGHT IN THT MOMENT, she would hv given him my hand in marriage , at tht age o, asking for nathn, she was scared as he was,well we got to the hospital.,and shall I say.....the rest including N sadly...they say os history.

MY BEST FRIEND

2008-08-14T18:05:00.000+01:00

DNT MEAN TO SOUND SO CLICHE BUT I THINK C IS MY BEST FRIEND, FOR THOSE WHO DONT KNOW WHO C IS, SHE'S MY SIS, 2 YRS YOUNGER THAN ME AND QUITE DIFFERENT YET SO SIMILAR.
I find that I cant rily talk abt my day with someone oda than c and the mention of "c said this c said that",this lifelong long friendship has come a long way-26yrs....how cheeky of me especially since c is my immediate and she's welll..26yrs old of course, not that we dont fight or we dont have those quarrels but i truly truly feel that C's the only person in this whole wide world that has truly got my back i mean with my eccentrics and all and bliv me wen i say i have major scoin scoin in my head.

wHEN i say we are different, we rily are cos im the world's scruge and she's the world's most generous person.....i mean not rily d world's but that might even be cos I've started rubbing off on her.She takes afta my mom, i tease her that"sista mi, o mo ila towo ko.for those wu are not yorubas or wu are but cant understand a word of tht it means literally my sista u dont know the tribal marks that the naira has on it, but u can only truly appreciate it figuratively which means she doesn't give too hoots abt the worth of "money" , like she doesnt send the naira, blivs, ninalowo,(thts a neighbor's surname by the way) and men! when u see their house u truly knw the reason for that surname.i am foreva waiting for sales , while my sis ffs the rule of i see it, i like it,im broke but i still get it.

gotta roll, as in my going home , to be contd tomorrow.

mojo with a face

2008-08-03T03:25:00.001+01:00

caucasian female,black guy.girl-very small petite.guy-tall slim very wel endowed.typical mojo setting except these guys made it look like it could been 2 pple wu cared very much bout each oda.oda dn dt it was a performance dy were going 2 b paid 4.mojos are gradually begining 2 loose their bite 4 me, excpt ds one dt inspired m 2 wna blog abt it. d guy proceeded 2 drive dis girl in2 a frenzy by gently licking her tru her blue satin panties,she's getn wet now n shes writhn u cn tel she cnt wait 4 d damn panties 2 b off n have hs tongue on her,inside her,but damn ds guy h cntinues teasing her til she cdnt bear it anymore n she shifts d satin panties 2 d side so h can taste her or at least so she cn fil hs moist tongue on her clitoris which is by d way quite beautiful-not bcos she b whyte chic o.but men!ds guy is literaly a motherfucker,emphasis on d fucker cos he sure made me wish i was in d chic's shoes,finaly he shfts d panties aside himself n proceeded 2 gv ds grl d most erotic cunninglingus i hd eva seen.juices were pouring n flowing outta ds chic like d osun riva n she wasnt evn comin yet.he was doing ds crazy combo of insertn a finga in2 her whil lickn her vulva at d same time, n by d knda moans escapn ds chics lips,d bros ws sure doin a lotta tns rite dwn dir.al he ws doin was lukn so gentel,tender as opposd 2 regular mojos where d guy literaly shoves his cock dwn whoevas throat.he was using only a fnga n he kept it moist by lickn intermitently b4 dipn it bk in2 her al d whl ds chc sef was shamelesly carresing her own vulva 2 n dippn her fngas alng wt d guy.d guy ws jst lickn al fngas at site o.my ppl it wsnt grose o.it was very seductive.d guy in questn was also a sight 4 sore eyes o as in wel built albeit a 2 pack but he was yummy. tnk in d flick he ws suposd 2 b a bartnda-reminded me of t-pain's song. d bobo get skills wel wel cos he evn had a standby bowl of icecubes.let me not describe wt he ws doin wt thoes lest i "come" myslf here n nw. fuckn proper started n ds my well endowd specie of a male was so considerate providn lube all d way inform of his saliva n taking care 2 dstngush cries of pain from those of pleasure.wen its in 2 deep n d babe yelps he lubricates n eases more of himself from inside her, evn d doggy ws classy nt dose dog on heat type u c in al ds oda mojos.d babe must have cm several tyms but i actualy saw it flowing out like 2ce. dn he carried her lyk u'd carry a new bride dat u hd paid 20 jars of palmwine 4 n fuckd her whl standing cos she was so petite n he so much bigger n cn u beat ds.... he didnt evn cm in her mouth lyk she was a whore

I AM A JUNKIE!

2008-08-01T15:26:00.000+01:00

Men1 I am a junkie.........

A blog junkie....but wht were u expecting some juicy details abt dope or smthn,Its bad enough being a blog junkie

listen to this..
iM NEW TO THIS BLOGGING THING SO IT'Sbecome like a drug in my system,the other day i had 100 card on my phone,

I finished it and started feeling shaky like only a junkie does, i sprang up from my bed like a mad woman at abt like 12am, crept to my mom;s room,pratically tiptoed and stole the keys to her shop, went out to the door, quietly opened it...all this with nothing on but my panties,searched frantically and rummaged thru the shop until i found it....yeah where she keeps her mtn credit.......stole like 400 box credit and went back happliy and triumphantly to my room to resume blogging....

my sis nicknamed me blogege recently,well glad I found" it"...by "i"t i refer to blogging by the way. I promised the person who introduced me to this blogging thngy that it would neva reach a stage whr I would actually be posting stuff myself.....but look here i am , not bad though

so what do i write about today......

yes!Tall man no brain

I used to live in this neighbourhood, when i was much younger call it wiseville,i was about 9 and my sis about 7,call my sis C,C AND I were very naughty ,as in naughtiest kids on the block kinda naughty and we were around a lot, there were these lil thngs we loved to eat so much"fruits" stop the tooshness jare we used to call them "frunts",im sure u 'all knw wht i'm talkin abt.so surely and steadfastly C and i went to this frunt tree that we had been severely warned by the apparently toosh guy who had these 3 nasty little alsatians that we had seen how mean first hand they could be one day wen "toosh guy" himself could not silence them.

BUT TRUST C and I as naughty as could b, we still went along on thi escapade, c was supposed to be on the look out to c whether he waas home, she signalled to me that the coast ws clear so i took this big and long stick(now i wonder how i could manoveur this stick so well at tht age)
and started plucking the frunts we also had this large big bag to put our "loot" in after our escapade,engrossed i was in the whole plucking bizness when i heard" he's home" not too long i heard 2 wild things barking....."toosh guy had let his dogs loose on us.

All i remember is that i started running ....u know when ure running and ur heels touch the back of ur head,as i reached our gate, i heard c close behind me, tot i saw one of the dogs nibble at her heeel just before i shut the gate , a lil blood was coming from her heels and our mom "madam b" unfortunately for "tooshguy" saw us and asked wht happened.

She was mad and she called "toosh guy" and gave him the tonguelashing of his life......she ended it by calliing him ""Tall man no brain",yeah this guy was rily tall abt the tallest in wiseville

naughty c and I neva let "tooshguy" hear the last of it,everyday we saw him in the street we would yell"tall man no brains"" and burst out laughing.

CONTINUTION OF ARIES THE RAM

2008-07-28T17:26:00.000+01:00

As I was saying, I made sure I kept him waiting for at least 2 hrs and he knew I was awake and only just refused to open the door , by now he was fuming and spoiling for a fight
S-just dont open this door or else u're done for

Immediately I opened u need to see the rains of punches I felt on on my chest and all , i just kept my cool and dug my teeth into his thigh and kept biting, the more he punched me, the more i bit ,he kept the punches harder, i sunk my teeth deeper, I was at a point where I wasnt feeling the pains of the punches anyore but I could taste blood, tht was when he left me and said "u're a witch u this girl"

I woke up the next morning feeling like excuse my yoruba "won ti lu mi nigi"(like I had been beaten with wood) but i was smiling an inner smile knowing the scar frm my bite will linger forever.......

Aries the Ram

2008-07-28T17:02:00.000+01:00

I am stubborn!very much so,sometimes i wonder why I am so stubborn, Is there somewhr in my past where I developed this horrid,sometimes cool personality trait but sometimes I found tht it has actually helped me a lot though it has also got me into a lot of trouble also

Sometimes when ure at that place when u need to make crucial decisions in your life abou"u",(as in only u o and not any other person being directly invoved in the repercussions of tht decision), I find that my stubborness leads to tenacity which in turn leads 2determination which in turns leads to perseverance,i could go on and on which in turn leads to doggedness so do u still think that stubborness is a "horrid" person trait cos from where I'm standing or should i say sitting all those other character traits are fantastic

Yeah, if u recall the title of this blog is "Aries the Ram",Rams are stubborn,my zodiac sign is aries so maybe tht explains it.

I recall some ocasions in the past,this one had to do with the trouble part

1.One day my elder bro, lets call him Mr.S was knocking, he had done something to hurt me earlier so I had decided that I wasnt going to open the door,plus i WASNT ABOUT TO BE INTERRUPTED FROM A BEAUTY SLEEP whr i was dreaming some rily luvly dreams but the knocks were getting harder now
T-"miz-cynic open this door now., I'll kill u when I get inside cos I know u can hear me and I'v been standing here for the past 1 hr.(Im new here so to be contd)