MIZCYNIC HAS BEEN INTRODUCED

Against all should I say odds ni o or stress ni o, I have done my introduction to my boo....nice anon,mgbeks,all of una who dey ask everytime,thanks for ur love and concern o. It went well, wish I could show pix but.......

Plenty of gist leading up to the thing o........

1.He  is from a part of Lagos that we the "ara-oke"(peeps from the western naij) do not take too seriously because of their highly liberal lifestyle,......so father cynic said he does not think he's be serious wihout mincing words.Tht is even without me telling him that his mom has had 4 husbands in her lifetime. 
2.what is the profession of parents?....business woman, anoda no-no for father cynic.........business business....all these business people....how are we sure wht exactly  the nature of this business is.could be coke!
3.why the rush!father cynic said-it is suspicious , like he wants to do it by force before u go to school....he must have hidden agenda.
4.your mom said u threatened to add registry to it.......father cynic said......why is it a must for u to do tht before u go, can't u be ok with just the introduction...btw i threatened mom cos she was not even down  with the introducion tht we shall go and do the registry in secret without telling her....but i was only joking.
mama cynic:-*shouting*...no registry will join u together without seeing ur parents...lailai....they will not i trust them
father cynic:-joko sibe,mo ka a ninu newspaper lojo yen pe N10,000 ni renting father and mother each.won kan ma rent obi ni now.translate to....i read in then papers the other day that its just N10,000 to rent father and mother,sit down there, they will just rent parents now.....
cynic:-daddy , me i was just joking o,oya mama cynic why are u against this intro
mama cynic:-because i dont want any man to" pale le e lori."..translate.....lay claims to u thereby blocking any other man
cynic|:-but i am very sure this is the man i wana spend the rest of my life with.
mama cynic:-what if u get to uk and find a better man......(richer....she means).

fast forward to the intro day......picture of my mom hugging boo and crying,telling him to take good care of me.and saying u are now my son.

to be continued.........btw boo will kill me if he saw this, he is a very private person who disapproves of me blogging but trust me......i won't stop blogging till i retire!lol.reminds me of one silly chorus tro one rap song when we were young...."i won;t stop rocking till i retire".

bringing sexy back and other miscellanous gists

I was making out like i like to call it cos there was no actual sex invloved, there were lots of ass grabbing, lip biting,ear licking,neck biting,gymnastics....all of which I think are essential to me having a fab time at it.There was a new essential element I did not realise would make this one of the top three mind blowing experiences i have had in my entire life.my new hair-cut.
I didnt realise my short hair would actually be tagged bringing sexy back cos I was relunctant to cut the hair, at the salon the lady cutting it had to say "aunty ar u sure u are ready to cut this hair at all.....cos i kept screaming, not too short, not to low....pls i want to be able to fix other stuff on it.yada yada ya.......

But on the day of the rumurumu....like my peeps....(nice anon, mgbeks etc) are probably used to tht term by now.In ectasy the guy just kept on my short hair...see.it not a low cut, its like all this low back bob but u see i used to have long hair or at the very least more than average length and i dont recall guys even pulling at it or anythn , they touch, caress,but never pull at it.but somehow sha, mayb cos the hand also has lots of contact with my scalp or the guy kept on whispering"oh my God, your hair is sexy...while pulling it i dont know or the sensations that was directly going to my brain then to the core of my being....to end the matter I will say the hair is orgasmic.lol.

To other gists, I am in the process of making a decision and i might not mind blogsville input.
I'm thinking of going to school, for a postgraduate in a course related to my first course, btw I'm a banker, which technically has nothing to do with my first course which is in the sciences, but because of the passion, I want to study something related to that course but I'm scared it would mess up with the 6 and half yrs banking experience I already have which means I will have to start from scratch in this my chosen field cos I dont have any relevenat work esperience.What do u guys think?

Also my bobo and I are engaged...as in he has asked me to marry him  and I have said yes but  He is not ready for the wedding asper cost implications and all....,I want to go to school in September for a year, He proposed we do an introduction now then wedding next year,what do u guys think? intro now and wedding after my masters.?I have had interesting advice so far and I won't mind other perspectives.pls explain your perspective

AS THE SPIRIT DIRECTS

Here are some famous quotes of Sir Winston churchill I came accross,those i liked and am feeling....

Just thought deeply about some and realised it could be taken seriously or un-serously, some of them made sense and still made me laugh......soothing cos I'm quite unhappy....something at work...they say I worry easily....well ,mayb i do.

here goes......

1.Sir, if you were my husband, I would poison your drink. --Lady


Astor to Winston Churchill Madam, if you were my wife, I would

drink it. -- His reply

serves her right in my opinion......"elenu gbongbo"....its no surprise na she talk this second one too...lady astor my foot!she is just an "iya isonu".

2.Lady Astor: "Mr. Churchill, you're drunk!" Winston Churchill:



"Yes, and you, Madam, are ugly. But tomorrow, I shall be sober."

funny cos,being drunk is temporary, u will sleep it over....and the next morning u'd be fine but ugliness?,....except for plastic surgery sha o.



3.Americans always try to do the right thing --


after they've tried everything else.

this is sha better, nigerians ,we will never do the right thing even after we have tried several sorts of shady ways.

4.. History will be kind to me for I intend to write it.

cocky and funny statement....i choose to look at it like this......He is cocky and darn sure of himself that he will make history also, he is mocking  the bias of people who write /say good things about themselves

5.If you have ten thousand regulations, you destroy all respect for the law.

what I think Lagos State is fast becoming a poster-child for......too much tax and laws....the one tht pissed me off most recently is the one of build something on your land or it gets revoked.

6.The truth is incontrovertible, malice may attack it, ignorance may deride it, but in the end; there it is.

yea, i so agree....some people now even say the truth is relative.....its not relative (these are the devil's advocate), its just the distortion...there is only one truth in any situation and it is always thr.

7.An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile—hoping it will eat him last.

bootlickers....hear it, na u the crocodile wey u dey worship...u know that boss in your office....whom u bootlick at the expense of your colleagues,go chop u sef one day.

8.We contend that for a nation to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle.

whao, this man to me in the literary world is next to Einstein.DEEP........am sure he was taking a swipe at United Kingdom especially with the crazy tax they pay there.they will soon tax themselves to oblivion.lol.
I imagine a man in the bucket true true....trying to carry himself by the handle and its laughable.

A fanatic is one who can’t change his mind and won’t change the subject.


this reminds me of an adlib in yoruba......"olopa ewo n tepe"

translate to...fine u're a police man.....its bad enuff ure going to charge me for whateva offence u think i've committed,so which one come bring curse ontop of am.....ok ur a fanatic u wont change ur opinions.....fine then shut the hell up!.

them plenty....but i'll stop here my peeps,whts ur two cents?

lest i forget....all tributes to Sir WINSTON CHURCHILL FOR ALL HIS wonderful quotes.bros i bow o.tuale! sir.

ALL ABOUT ME

I am feeling very lazy to do a post but I'll post this all the same.

The Basics


Hair Color: Jet Black

Eye Color: brown

Height: 5"8



Profession: Banker(lately I wish I was a chef)


Religious views: Muslim



My Favorites

Favorite Movie: Sound Of music



Favorite Hobby: Gisting



Favorite Song/Singer:Dido, Sade ,avril lavigne,whitney (notice Im on a first name basis with them.lol)



Favorite Vacation Destination: Paris(neva been thr),Dubai,Seychelles



Favorite Animal: Cat



Favorite Childhood Memory: when  we go to Apapa amusement park.



Chocolate or Vanilla: chocolate



Coke or Pepsi : nah



Beer or Wine: non-alcoholic wine



Coffee or Tea: both



Apple Juice or O.J.: o.j,wetin be o.j(O.J Simpson).orange juice



Facebook or MySpace:  facebook



Cats or Dogs: cats



Boxers or Briefs: paynt.(panties)



Rain or Shine : shine



Chips or Popcorn:chips



Salty or Sweet: sweet



Plane or Boat: plane


Morning or Night: night if i won't be mugged.



Movie or Play: Movie



Walk or Drive: as in , long distance or short distance?if na short distance,walk-romantic, if na long distance,walk na suffer head o


Money or Love: hmm..........love! i think



Forgiveness or Revenge: revenge.so the next time u wana fuck with me, u think twice.


House or Apartment: apartment abeg, cleaning will be easier



Do You?

Have Any Children: no , i wish!



Smoke: nope.neva!



Drink: nope!



Exercise: i wish!i walk though....ong distances,sporadically.



Spend Your Life On Facebook: why?!

Play On A Sports Team:i wish!



Belong To Any Organizations: does jaycees in uni count


Love Your Job:nope,as long as its called a job


Like To Cook: Yep


Play An Instrument: I wish!



Sing: I LIKE TO THINK SO



Dance: I like to think so



Speak Multiple Languages:yes. english and yoruba and understand a bit of hausa.



Have You Ever

Stolen Anything: maybe when i was little.




Been Drunk Before Noon: how?!


Got Caught Telling A Lie: yes o



Been Arrested: ehn! maka why?!



Cheated On A Test:  in secondary sch i was known for my "longsightedness"



Failed A Class: ............yeah.its humbling

heretosexuality versus homosexuality

I remembered today being the birthday of someone who used o be my "itchu".and instantly I called her, we fell into our usual camaredie and it was like old times.Now notice that I am admitting that that she was my itchu which i would not have admitted back then in school when we were actually "jetchuing".jetchuing being the verb if itchu is the noun. I hope u get my drift and for my yoruba speaking folks "je" means eat so i mean chopping itchu.am sure anyone who went to a boarding school especially an "only girl school" like mine would understand this.

A preamble to the word itchu.different people have different meanings for these words.For the relatively innocent,an itchu would be a girl that u have extra feelings for other than u would have for a regular friend, these feelings would tend towards waht a guy would feel for a girl but u would not act on it sexually. this means no kissing, no smooching,no fucking.(did i even know what tht was back then) I used to tell people that as at my S.S.3,I still thot that if u laid bside a boy even if ur bodies dont touch, u could get pregnant.As I was saying the not so innocent ones which of course we had in my school then would actually kiss,smooch even have sex with different objects....those were the advanced babes....the bubblers....the hard chics.

I remember this one  time these girls,were at the quadrangle(this is what we call the open space usually at the centre of our dorm rooms with trees , sitting structures sometimes.One thing led to another,they probably forgot they were in the full glare of pple, they thot "nite"would cover them but alas I think they got bolder and started kissing clung to each other. I heard it was a junior girl who saw them first, I think they were in S.S 1. the junior girl called the next senior in line until they were surrounded by a crowd of their own mates, not until one girl hit them hard on the back and shouted "haba!"(my school girls are quite dramatic) before they became aware of their surroundings, I was in the crowd and to me it was like they used superglue to gum them together, they were that "in trance"

My own scope of jeitchuing was the fact tht my class mates knew i had this special friendship with this girl who was also in my class and half of the school used to say we were itchus which we vehemently denied.When she was sick and she needed to take drugs,and she was refusing, her room-mates would say call her itchu,Id come too -knight in shiny arnour and make her take the drugs ....I had my way. I would talk gently to her like a boyfriend would and she'll even feel better already cos I was thr.Obviously cos I wasnt a girly girl and  I have a deep voice(by the way thts the most compliments i receive from both young and old "i like ur voice" and I'd blush) and she was a girly girl I was often teased that I was the guy in the relationship. We used to hold hands, give hugs, put our arms around each other and talk late into the nite. We got really close.We  were also musketeers as I remember us "tapping" peoples m&b's  together by distracting our victims then we would tear the front page off and write "eze goes to school in front of it."Truth was I "loved" my friend. Nothing changed at home cos I still had my regular crushes on guys my age then etc.I remember one nite which is quite foggy to me now but we were so excited about the fact that we had made up after a long fight and I had written her what could be misconstrued as a love letter  and she was sitting beside me with her head in my lap,holding me very tight sobbing.We did not know any better, we were "kids"....ur right !14 ,15,16, cos this itchuism lasted fom my SS1-3  and we often tell each other stories of how we met.She'd say" u know I never liked u in our junior days and I'd say me neither."I saw u cutting grass one day and u were pissing me off with ur stance like yea.....were they really expecting u to cut grass" and I 'd say "even u I felt u were ugly cos then u had a lot of pimples on ur face and I hated ur crew....I wondered what such a cool chic was doing with the razz bunch".Many more memories to relive but before I start grosing people out I'll stop here.

so question is "Is there a thin line between homosexuality and heterosexuality?

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX

Folks, out of curiousity,I wana see how freaky or otherwise i am compared to the next person in blogsville, so I'll be asking some questions.Please indulge me and put pen to paper,all i need is y if its yes and n if its no. sorta like this.1y2n3y4n,like that . it'll be short i promise. just ten questionsand ill put my own answer beneath the post so no "ojoro"

1.If u're making love/making out incase u are a virgin(being a virgin dont mean u have to be totally clueless...u need to research.....be in tune with your body etc.),and ur partner has tried his/her best and u know in ur heart that its the best he or she can come up with,and he/she asks,did you come?and for u the answer is no. do u tell the truth.?

2.have u ever done the 69 before?

3.have u ever used a toy with your partner?

4.do you think whether you are to have an orgasm in a single encounter with a partner is solely dependent on the skills of that partner?

5.have u ever tasted ur own "juice" in any form or shape or manner? here i have to distinguish tht i meant for the woman her wetness and for the man ur pre-cum?

6.have u ever tasted your partners "cum"?also here i mean a woman's squirt and a man's semen

7.have u made love to a woman with her folks around in the same house not necessarily , the same room, and for women have u ever allowed this ?

8.do u make loud noises if/when u are coming?

9.do you think each vagina u've ever had feels the same if the skills are at par and if u are a woman do u think each dick feels the same as long as their skills are on the same level.

10.have u had an orgasm before?

my ans.1y2y3n4n5y6y7n8n9y10y

p.s:-other comments are welcome too

MAGUN

Omo, i see am life and direct se, no be joke,......the guy join to the girl ni o.
uuuhm, otun ti de....(.u don come again) ......howwwwwwwwwwwww?how can ?how can man and woman join together like that wen e no be say na superglue dem take gum dem.

apparently this chic na fine babe, so when it became apparent to her hubby that she dey do some kin runs , e come place "magun" on am .

ehn ehn, so wetin come happen

the guy come escape ni o, so that dem no go come beg am, or find any remedy.

but in this day and age, some pple still dey carry magun put for person bodi, o ga o!

the story is that the woman in question is vey fine so she has a lot of toasters.

so u agree too thast she is promiscuous

well.....me i no know o

Whts the one me i know as per magun is the one that the guy will somersault 3 times and after the third time if thr is no intervention , he dies

what about the one of thirst

thirst ke?!

yes , thirst.....when he finishes the act,he suddenly has the urge to drink water, as in he will be very thirsty.as soon as he drinks water....he dies,
interesting!me i have neva heard of the one of thirst before o, the other one i know is the one that he crows like a cock after the act, and then he dies.

which brings me to the point......and my inspiration for this post -sugarking's post.
why should anyone place magun on someone.na u born am!u be GOD?!
I think the only reason why any one would do that is vendetta cos rily, this magun ...all the different types are not preventive.....they only work have the person has slept with your wife and all of them have expiry period as in even if ur wife remains faithful to u she dies within a stipulated time frame too if nothing is done...recall THE MOVIE "THUNDERBOLT" starring Uche Obi Osotule.

If the real definition of MAGUN were to be followed,it should be preventive rather then "vengeful cos its MAGUN-DON'T CLIMB not "GUN KO KU "(CLIMB AND DIE) or somthn else.

anyways sha my pple, my own take on infidelity is simple. If u cannot trust ur significant other, as in if u have proof that she is gun-ing other peeps or other peeps are gun-ing her then leave/divorce her before u die before ur time of hypertension.

back from vacation,wana blog

yea, like the title says, i went on vac o as in for 4 full weeks and like the scruge i am , i wanted to wait till i resume before i post.plus awon nice anon, mgbeks, ibiluv and co have said we shd post or else>>>>>>>.

gist plenty o

first and foremost my aunt, as in my mom's blood sister,same father same mother died. the one i gisted u about that got married last at age 43. unfortunately she did not leave any child.There is some drama surrounding her death.story is that she had been complaining that since they got married,they've hard spent 2 weeks in all together since hubby is based in akure and my aunt port harcourt.She said they shd start to live together as man and wife, so the man resigned cos she had the better paying job.Then they had an accident,the driver was driving, not a scratch on him,the hubby was behind with her, not a scratch on him,the first story we heard was that the car hit the kerb and nothing happened to the car but my aunt sustained injuries in her head and died, then again the story changed to it was raining heavily, visibility was poor and the car tumbled and then landed more on the side she was....blah blah and the injury she suffered was serious.

naturally there were side talks here and there about if thr was any foul play on the hubbby's part, some salient issues also came up like

the driver had been reprimanded before on his driver by my uncle the immediate elder brother of the deceased and had advised my aunt to sack the driver

that the mother never totally consented to the wedding cos she had always had her close to him at her bosom in akure to the extent tht he got a better job once in abuja but did not take it cos of his mother

also when the issue of where they were to bury came up, the hubby and the family said she cldnt be buried at akure(hubby's hometown) because as they claimed "there is no decent burial ground in the whole of akure (the tradition is for ur wife to be buried in ur home town).

sidetalks from family members of the guy saying ''afterall she did not bear any child for us"

he was so happy about the ministry providing funds because he kept on saying he's broke o and shey we know his family too is broke. friends and family of the wife did practically everythn.when the money landed his account,2 weeks after the burial cos u know ministry and the tendency to delay stuff he apportioned like a third for himself even though some bulk money that the family and friends used for the burial had not been refunded.

I am not one to judge as the whole thing must be traumatic for him but all i know is something doesnt gel somewhr.even if its as mundane or inconsequential , the least of what is wrong may be that he did not love my aunt as christ loved the church.and the worst being that he is a gold-digger, i know he will be rewarded accordingly cos God doesnt take either with levity.I couldnt help biffing the guy when the pastor kept hampering in the church during the burial service tht in line with God's directive, his wife is gone, is gone...if he wants to marry today sef, he is free, death has done them part...i have a feeling he went to tell the pastor tht the family is witch-hunting him.

on a lighter note , there was a funny part to all this, the pastor during the service said "madam lagbaja(my aunt).....was a firtuous woman(virtuous woman),despite thew fact that she married at 43.....,she was a firgin, (virgin)....her husband can confirm this....my sister and I could not help ourselves , we burst out laffing...quietly ofcourse.

SOPE TIE (THANK GOD FOR YOUR OWN)

They say omo toba nipe "oko" baba oun lo tobi ju, koi de oko baba elomi-the child that says his father's farm is the biggest ,definitely he has not reached another person's father's farm before.lemme digress that yoruba proverb can easily be translated also to mean the child that says his father's penis is the biggest definitely has not seen others father's penis.

In a cynical way im going to relate all this to the title of the post.If u think your problems are large,definitely you have not seen the extent of other's woes.

I was complaining recently that i so hate when i'm with my bobo and want to enter a place and they wana know if he's up to 21 until a silly girl i used to work with called me recently to gossip about a colleague of ours who is getting married to an ugly old man...her comment was "so ti ba to yen ni"-this means ...he don hook the girl like tht?the girl called to tell me cos this particular colleague of ours is nasty with a capital N.

I was complaining that we were not paid our performance portion of our salary which translates literally to 20% being slashed from our salary until i heard of a colleague in First Bank who had been unceremoniously asked to go.

When I was younger , I used to complain that we used to get only one set of provisions until i heard of a girl who never had anyone visit her in school,not to talk of getting any provisions sent to her.

Like they say Igi gogoro ma gun mi loju.....aa dodge e ni,seriously its okere la ti n wo, but I just discovered that my ex whom I used to biff for buying a new car instead of committing to our wedding, actually collected loan to buy the car,a loan which he can't pay back and the bank is now chasing him up and down for their money,thank God i "dodged" him, marrying him would have been the igi gogoro literally entering my eye with his debts amongst many other things.

I have a man who smokes and drinks moderately, still enuff of me to nag and rant about on most days, but to the best of my knowledge does not womanise and holds me in high esteem,I have a friend whose husband drinks, smokes and womanises even in their home.she complains bitterly daily to me but never to him for fear of probably receiving a slap.

i COULD GO ON AND ON BUT THE KOKO is sha to thank God for every situation you find yourself in and remember whateva your situation..."airi iru e ri, a fin deruba oloro ni-aah!me i never see this one before o!,na to scare the person wey get talk...or somn like tht jare. my yoruba peeps will feel me better

50TH POST.

omo e don tey wey i visit this blog.....oops , na ma blog sha.na today i even clock 50 posts sef.make una shak ur preference for my head....if na henessy, chardonnay,heineken,sprite,coke,water e.t.c.

as u don notice i wan blog in pidgin, someone tell me say my pidgin is wacked, na in sabi , i go finish dis post

some foolish secondary school memories just come to mind.we get dis over-sabi boarding house mistress in name na bukola or somthn like dat sha.d woman dey play for manchester so awon chics just kukuma nick-name am "bukoyan", my yoruba folks can relate to this,the name attests to the fact say she be to manchester united what ronaldo was to them before hin go real madrid-a great asset *chuckling to myself".dis woman dey terrorise awon girls no be small, na she go see student wey wear mini skirt,hot pant, wey hin bra dey see-thru, d gist be say she no get toaster and she dey biff awon chics wey young-virile blooded male teachers dey follow then.na so she dey waka go class one day she accost one SS2 babe.d following dialogue na in ensued.

bukoyan :-chidinma,come here!

chidinma:-walks sexily,provocatively and rudely to meet miss bukoyan

bukoyan come turn am to in native language."ninu omu ti e ati omu temi, ewo lo tobi ju.for the sake of my non-yoruba speaking peeps for blogsville , i will translate(between your boobs and my boobs, which one is bigger),

chidinma replies politely rudely."ti yin ni ma"(its urs ma).

bukoyan:-"ose wa jepe emi ma n pack temi dada,' shom shom',iwo de ma se tie degbere"( so why is it that me i pack my own very smartly and u pack yours so loosely)

d girl shock open mouth.

bukoyan:-common go to ur dorm and wear a tighter fitting bra,my friend,stupid girl!

but my people,we sef bad that time,and urs truly was so troublesome but i no dey do that kin thin sha o.the thin wey i dey do na thns like......ok,we get one handsome english teacher like that wey dey keep very long last nail and in like to dey point to anythn at random with it.anyhow sha chicks get plenty crush on am so when time reach to submit english assignment,some go dey tuck love note for inside,on one occasion na picture fall out, i come trace the particular notebook wey picture fall commot,e come be one 'butter cannot melt in my mouth opeke chic'.na so i rearrange the books, me wey i no dey gree distribute books as class captain, i go just dump make all man hussle in own, na so i stand for front of class dey distribute books, wen e come reach the babe turn na in i announce say ladies and gentlemen, our dearest madam opeke chic actually put her picture for the benefit of our english teacher,na so i shake the picture commot for ground. needless to say the babe rep change instanta.

i remember so clearly one wicked senior boarding house mistress wey we get wey we fear so much say upon say we nickname am lets say mgbeks cos her name na mrs mbgeke for example, when u skip prep to chill inside the room and u hear say she don land by the signature scream "mgbeks are coming!"...she be one person o,. but na the fear we get we dey use 'are' for am o as in for her,its rude to use 'is' o na mgbeks are coming o..... who born u make u no respect mgbeks na she write the foreign book wey we dey use then for English in school o.

i get one post i wan post about my current lovey wey dey do me yori yori but i dey fear gan ni cos it seems wheneva i talk about any sweerie of mine on here , e go just jinx comot, na the following day evrythn go scatter, abi na winch.lol.