heretosexuality versus homosexuality

I remembered today being the birthday of someone who used o be my "itchu".and instantly I called her, we fell into our usual camaredie and it was like old times.Now notice that I am admitting that that she was my itchu which i would not have admitted back then in school when we were actually "jetchuing".jetchuing being the verb if itchu is the noun. I hope u get my drift and for my yoruba speaking folks "je" means eat so i mean chopping itchu.am sure anyone who went to a boarding school especially an "only girl school" like mine would understand this.

A preamble to the word itchu.different people have different meanings for these words.For the relatively innocent,an itchu would be a girl that u have extra feelings for other than u would have for a regular friend, these feelings would tend towards waht a guy would feel for a girl but u would not act on it sexually. this means no kissing, no smooching,no fucking.(did i even know what tht was back then) I used to tell people that as at my S.S.3,I still thot that if u laid bside a boy even if ur bodies dont touch, u could get pregnant.As I was saying the not so innocent ones which of course we had in my school then would actually kiss,smooch even have sex with different objects....those were the advanced babes....the bubblers....the hard chics.

I remember this one  time these girls,were at the quadrangle(this is what we call the open space usually at the centre of our dorm rooms with trees , sitting structures sometimes.One thing led to another,they probably forgot they were in the full glare of pple, they thot "nite"would cover them but alas I think they got bolder and started kissing clung to each other. I heard it was a junior girl who saw them first, I think they were in S.S 1. the junior girl called the next senior in line until they were surrounded by a crowd of their own mates, not until one girl hit them hard on the back and shouted "haba!"(my school girls are quite dramatic) before they became aware of their surroundings, I was in the crowd and to me it was like they used superglue to gum them together, they were that "in trance"

My own scope of jeitchuing was the fact tht my class mates knew i had this special friendship with this girl who was also in my class and half of the school used to say we were itchus which we vehemently denied.When she was sick and she needed to take drugs,and she was refusing, her room-mates would say call her itchu,Id come too -knight in shiny arnour and make her take the drugs ....I had my way. I would talk gently to her like a boyfriend would and she'll even feel better already cos I was thr.Obviously cos I wasnt a girly girl and  I have a deep voice(by the way thts the most compliments i receive from both young and old "i like ur voice" and I'd blush) and she was a girly girl I was often teased that I was the guy in the relationship. We used to hold hands, give hugs, put our arms around each other and talk late into the nite. We got really close.We  were also musketeers as I remember us "tapping" peoples m&b's  together by distracting our victims then we would tear the front page off and write "eze goes to school in front of it."Truth was I "loved" my friend. Nothing changed at home cos I still had my regular crushes on guys my age then etc.I remember one nite which is quite foggy to me now but we were so excited about the fact that we had made up after a long fight and I had written her what could be misconstrued as a love letter  and she was sitting beside me with her head in my lap,holding me very tight sobbing.We did not know any better, we were "kids"....ur right !14 ,15,16, cos this itchuism lasted fom my SS1-3  and we often tell each other stories of how we met.She'd say" u know I never liked u in our junior days and I'd say me neither."I saw u cutting grass one day and u were pissing me off with ur stance like yea.....were they really expecting u to cut grass" and I 'd say "even u I felt u were ugly cos then u had a lot of pimples on ur face and I hated ur crew....I wondered what such a cool chic was doing with the razz bunch".Many more memories to relive but before I start grosing people out I'll stop here.

so question is "Is there a thin line between homosexuality and heterosexuality?

LETS TALK ABOUT SEX

Folks, out of curiousity,I wana see how freaky or otherwise i am compared to the next person in blogsville, so I'll be asking some questions.Please indulge me and put pen to paper,all i need is y if its yes and n if its no. sorta like this.1y2n3y4n,like that . it'll be short i promise. just ten questionsand ill put my own answer beneath the post so no "ojoro"

1.If u're making love/making out incase u are a virgin(being a virgin dont mean u have to be totally clueless...u need to research.....be in tune with your body etc.),and ur partner has tried his/her best and u know in ur heart that its the best he or she can come up with,and he/she asks,did you come?and for u the answer is no. do u tell the truth.?

2.have u ever done the 69 before?

3.have u ever used a toy with your partner?

4.do you think whether you are to have an orgasm in a single encounter with a partner is solely dependent on the skills of that partner?

5.have u ever tasted ur own "juice" in any form or shape or manner? here i have to distinguish tht i meant for the woman her wetness and for the man ur pre-cum?

6.have u ever tasted your partners "cum"?also here i mean a woman's squirt and a man's semen

7.have u made love to a woman with her folks around in the same house not necessarily , the same room, and for women have u ever allowed this ?

8.do u make loud noises if/when u are coming?

9.do you think each vagina u've ever had feels the same if the skills are at par and if u are a woman do u think each dick feels the same as long as their skills are on the same level.

10.have u had an orgasm before?

my ans.1y2y3n4n5y6y7n8n9y10y

p.s:-other comments are welcome too

MAGUN

Omo, i see am life and direct se, no be joke,......the guy join to the girl ni o.
uuuhm, otun ti de....(.u don come again) ......howwwwwwwwwwwww?how can ?how can man and woman join together like that wen e no be say na superglue dem take gum dem.

apparently this chic na fine babe, so when it became apparent to her hubby that she dey do some kin runs , e come place "magun" on am .

ehn ehn, so wetin come happen

the guy come escape ni o, so that dem no go come beg am, or find any remedy.

but in this day and age, some pple still dey carry magun put for person bodi, o ga o!

the story is that the woman in question is vey fine so she has a lot of toasters.

so u agree too thast she is promiscuous

well.....me i no know o

Whts the one me i know as per magun is the one that the guy will somersault 3 times and after the third time if thr is no intervention , he dies

what about the one of thirst

thirst ke?!

yes , thirst.....when he finishes the act,he suddenly has the urge to drink water, as in he will be very thirsty.as soon as he drinks water....he dies,
interesting!me i have neva heard of the one of thirst before o, the other one i know is the one that he crows like a cock after the act, and then he dies.

which brings me to the point......and my inspiration for this post -sugarking's post.
why should anyone place magun on someone.na u born am!u be GOD?!
I think the only reason why any one would do that is vendetta cos rily, this magun ...all the different types are not preventive.....they only work have the person has slept with your wife and all of them have expiry period as in even if ur wife remains faithful to u she dies within a stipulated time frame too if nothing is done...recall THE MOVIE "THUNDERBOLT" starring Uche Obi Osotule.

If the real definition of MAGUN were to be followed,it should be preventive rather then "vengeful cos its MAGUN-DON'T CLIMB not "GUN KO KU "(CLIMB AND DIE) or somthn else.

anyways sha my pple, my own take on infidelity is simple. If u cannot trust ur significant other, as in if u have proof that she is gun-ing other peeps or other peeps are gun-ing her then leave/divorce her before u die before ur time of hypertension.

back from vacation,wana blog

yea, like the title says, i went on vac o as in for 4 full weeks and like the scruge i am , i wanted to wait till i resume before i post.plus awon nice anon, mgbeks, ibiluv and co have said we shd post or else>>>>>>>.

gist plenty o

first and foremost my aunt, as in my mom's blood sister,same father same mother died. the one i gisted u about that got married last at age 43. unfortunately she did not leave any child.There is some drama surrounding her death.story is that she had been complaining that since they got married,they've hard spent 2 weeks in all together since hubby is based in akure and my aunt port harcourt.She said they shd start to live together as man and wife, so the man resigned cos she had the better paying job.Then they had an accident,the driver was driving, not a scratch on him,the hubby was behind with her, not a scratch on him,the first story we heard was that the car hit the kerb and nothing happened to the car but my aunt sustained injuries in her head and died, then again the story changed to it was raining heavily, visibility was poor and the car tumbled and then landed more on the side she was....blah blah and the injury she suffered was serious.

naturally there were side talks here and there about if thr was any foul play on the hubbby's part, some salient issues also came up like

the driver had been reprimanded before on his driver by my uncle the immediate elder brother of the deceased and had advised my aunt to sack the driver

that the mother never totally consented to the wedding cos she had always had her close to him at her bosom in akure to the extent tht he got a better job once in abuja but did not take it cos of his mother

also when the issue of where they were to bury came up, the hubby and the family said she cldnt be buried at akure(hubby's hometown) because as they claimed "there is no decent burial ground in the whole of akure (the tradition is for ur wife to be buried in ur home town).

sidetalks from family members of the guy saying ''afterall she did not bear any child for us"

he was so happy about the ministry providing funds because he kept on saying he's broke o and shey we know his family too is broke. friends and family of the wife did practically everythn.when the money landed his account,2 weeks after the burial cos u know ministry and the tendency to delay stuff he apportioned like a third for himself even though some bulk money that the family and friends used for the burial had not been refunded.

I am not one to judge as the whole thing must be traumatic for him but all i know is something doesnt gel somewhr.even if its as mundane or inconsequential , the least of what is wrong may be that he did not love my aunt as christ loved the church.and the worst being that he is a gold-digger, i know he will be rewarded accordingly cos God doesnt take either with levity.I couldnt help biffing the guy when the pastor kept hampering in the church during the burial service tht in line with God's directive, his wife is gone, is gone...if he wants to marry today sef, he is free, death has done them part...i have a feeling he went to tell the pastor tht the family is witch-hunting him.

on a lighter note , there was a funny part to all this, the pastor during the service said "madam lagbaja(my aunt).....was a firtuous woman(virtuous woman),despite thew fact that she married at 43.....,she was a firgin, (virgin)....her husband can confirm this....my sister and I could not help ourselves , we burst out laffing...quietly ofcourse.

SOPE TIE (THANK GOD FOR YOUR OWN)

They say omo toba nipe "oko" baba oun lo tobi ju, koi de oko baba elomi-the child that says his father's farm is the biggest ,definitely he has not reached another person's father's farm before.lemme digress that yoruba proverb can easily be translated also to mean the child that says his father's penis is the biggest definitely has not seen others father's penis.

In a cynical way im going to relate all this to the title of the post.If u think your problems are large,definitely you have not seen the extent of other's woes.

I was complaining recently that i so hate when i'm with my bobo and want to enter a place and they wana know if he's up to 21 until a silly girl i used to work with called me recently to gossip about a colleague of ours who is getting married to an ugly old man...her comment was "so ti ba to yen ni"-this means ...he don hook the girl like tht?the girl called to tell me cos this particular colleague of ours is nasty with a capital N.

I was complaining that we were not paid our performance portion of our salary which translates literally to 20% being slashed from our salary until i heard of a colleague in First Bank who had been unceremoniously asked to go.

When I was younger , I used to complain that we used to get only one set of provisions until i heard of a girl who never had anyone visit her in school,not to talk of getting any provisions sent to her.

Like they say Igi gogoro ma gun mi loju.....aa dodge e ni,seriously its okere la ti n wo, but I just discovered that my ex whom I used to biff for buying a new car instead of committing to our wedding, actually collected loan to buy the car,a loan which he can't pay back and the bank is now chasing him up and down for their money,thank God i "dodged" him, marrying him would have been the igi gogoro literally entering my eye with his debts amongst many other things.

I have a man who smokes and drinks moderately, still enuff of me to nag and rant about on most days, but to the best of my knowledge does not womanise and holds me in high esteem,I have a friend whose husband drinks, smokes and womanises even in their home.she complains bitterly daily to me but never to him for fear of probably receiving a slap.

i COULD GO ON AND ON BUT THE KOKO is sha to thank God for every situation you find yourself in and remember whateva your situation..."airi iru e ri, a fin deruba oloro ni-aah!me i never see this one before o!,na to scare the person wey get talk...or somn like tht jare. my yoruba peeps will feel me better

50TH POST.

omo e don tey wey i visit this blog.....oops , na ma blog sha.na today i even clock 50 posts sef.make una shak ur preference for my head....if na henessy, chardonnay,heineken,sprite,coke,water e.t.c.

as u don notice i wan blog in pidgin, someone tell me say my pidgin is wacked, na in sabi , i go finish dis post

some foolish secondary school memories just come to mind.we get dis over-sabi boarding house mistress in name na bukola or somthn like dat sha.d woman dey play for manchester so awon chics just kukuma nick-name am "bukoyan", my yoruba folks can relate to this,the name attests to the fact say she be to manchester united what ronaldo was to them before hin go real madrid-a great asset *chuckling to myself".dis woman dey terrorise awon girls no be small, na she go see student wey wear mini skirt,hot pant, wey hin bra dey see-thru, d gist be say she no get toaster and she dey biff awon chics wey young-virile blooded male teachers dey follow then.na so she dey waka go class one day she accost one SS2 babe.d following dialogue na in ensued.

bukoyan :-chidinma,come here!

chidinma:-walks sexily,provocatively and rudely to meet miss bukoyan

bukoyan come turn am to in native language."ninu omu ti e ati omu temi, ewo lo tobi ju.for the sake of my non-yoruba speaking peeps for blogsville , i will translate(between your boobs and my boobs, which one is bigger),

chidinma replies politely rudely."ti yin ni ma"(its urs ma).

bukoyan:-"ose wa jepe emi ma n pack temi dada,' shom shom',iwo de ma se tie degbere"( so why is it that me i pack my own very smartly and u pack yours so loosely)

d girl shock open mouth.

bukoyan:-common go to ur dorm and wear a tighter fitting bra,my friend,stupid girl!

but my people,we sef bad that time,and urs truly was so troublesome but i no dey do that kin thin sha o.the thin wey i dey do na thns like......ok,we get one handsome english teacher like that wey dey keep very long last nail and in like to dey point to anythn at random with it.anyhow sha chicks get plenty crush on am so when time reach to submit english assignment,some go dey tuck love note for inside,on one occasion na picture fall out, i come trace the particular notebook wey picture fall commot,e come be one 'butter cannot melt in my mouth opeke chic'.na so i rearrange the books, me wey i no dey gree distribute books as class captain, i go just dump make all man hussle in own, na so i stand for front of class dey distribute books, wen e come reach the babe turn na in i announce say ladies and gentlemen, our dearest madam opeke chic actually put her picture for the benefit of our english teacher,na so i shake the picture commot for ground. needless to say the babe rep change instanta.

i remember so clearly one wicked senior boarding house mistress wey we get wey we fear so much say upon say we nickname am lets say mgbeks cos her name na mrs mbgeke for example, when u skip prep to chill inside the room and u hear say she don land by the signature scream "mgbeks are coming!"...she be one person o,. but na the fear we get we dey use 'are' for am o as in for her,its rude to use 'is' o na mgbeks are coming o..... who born u make u no respect mgbeks na she write the foreign book wey we dey use then for English in school o.

i get one post i wan post about my current lovey wey dey do me yori yori but i dey fear gan ni cos it seems wheneva i talk about any sweerie of mine on here , e go just jinx comot, na the following day evrythn go scatter, abi na winch.lol.

THE IRONY OF LOVE

As I was in my office thinking "when will i stop literally getting slapped with work cos honestly it seems like each time something to be done is being shoved in my face,to me it feels likei'm being slapped with the sheet of paper or whteva the request comes on.So, a txt comes in......usual"excuse me boss u have a txt message(and i've refused to change tht txt message alert)....its from my ex-ex-ex.........read as my boyfriend before the last before the last.

It read "i was listening to a radio programme yesterniteon ex-relationshipsand i just cant help reliving memories of our relationship.I still love you.

upon calling i found out he was being sincere and he couldnt for some reason shake the loe we shared.which brings me to the fact of my own so called "all time love of my life"...that took me so long to shake off, it even cost me 2 relationships ...yes! i haver finally admitted....he was the cause of the demise of my last 2 relationships.

The guy in this case is I call him my second love of my life and if i were more of a realist than the idealist tht i am would immediately overtake the position of the all time love of my life but as much as I hate to admit, he hasnt.But if understanding me were a measure or the S.I unit of measuring love then he wins hands down.

It also brought on a cocky feeling...LEMME EXPLAIN.....FOR YEARS I PINED FOR MY LOST LOVE as in it took me nothing less than 3yrs to get over tht guy and I am like...wtf!did he use jazz for me or wht????!!!...so it felt good also to know tht someone is still pining for me since 2002....felt so good.!

We hung out yesterday and he tried to kiss me...but I had to turn my cheek.I guess I dont feel tht way no more about him.but we're still very good/close friends.He speaks to all the boyfriends I have had since then and asks them to take good care of me.

Lest i forget i need opinions on some stuff

1.If u are in a relationship.......can u go out for a movie with your guy-friend...if yes...under wht clauses/circumstances
2.If u are in a relationship and when the guy has which is less often btw he spends wella on you, will u do same when u have which is more often by the way.

im out!.gotta go earn my living for the day.

random

cant believe i'm blogging again so soon,

here is one of the txts married man sent

note,thr hv been some editing

thnx for ur help in sorting out the trfs,i appreciate it.and i enjoyed chatting 2day,even though my conversation was interspersed with I luv us between SO &miz-cynic,and in the very presence of A(HE REFERRED TO HIMSELF INTHIRD PERSON).ahah will sort out ur coach dis week.get SO to buy ur tennis outfit, he oggles at it more than me and knws the contours of ur size 12 bodand i will look for a racquet

i havent replied yet but my reply will go somn like......

MrA,u are quite welcome,I also enjoyed chatting today,I wonder why it should bother u that I said a couple of I love us.......afterall you also called your wife in my very presence.lol.

You promised to buy the outfit,why are u changing your mind......do i sense a lil jealousy
should it matter who oggles more at it.

this is how we tease each oda so........its harmless

in oda news I am actually enjoying my job at the moment, I moved branches and this Branch is a lot more serene and orderly/organised,It also might be the very nice small chops that is sold very near here by one of our customers.......this doesnt mean he gives us freebies...stingykoko man...we get to buy it and ur dearest miz-cynic has turned it to breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I feel like rocking this friday...though I'm on a curfew....i went out 2 fridays ago and got back 3....momsie wailed...i was just thinking to myself...see yawa!!i suppose don born myself dey chastise my 15 yr old daughter for coming back so late too.

I love blogsville,I think I have read some of the funniest, most interesting,wacko,smartest, most insightful, touching,romantic thing on here.human beings are so talented....that might also be our undoing.

yay i clocked one year on blogsville.

I promised myself i must to blog today mehn!!!!!!!!!How i no go blog?I clocked one year on blogsville today, shout out to geisha, ibiluv,boorish male , geisha:-she introduced me to blogging,ibiluv:-she encouraged me to blog,boorish male:-he inspired me to blog.

Blogging is becoming a chore for me and i hate chores....tht does not mean i wont be blogging anymore or tht i'll take down the blog, i actually go back to read old posts for fun

M y blogging today is gonna be mega random

A cute customer came to my workplace yesterday and we had interesting conversation and we have an easy camaredie but guess wht....he's probably in his late forties,married with kids ,speaks impeccable english,distinguished, successful.....I now finally realise tht i just met the met tht can actually make me consider "aristocrazy"...the danger here would be tht i could actually fall in love with him and wait for this he speaks "fone" and is a practising muslim...cute!this means never say never...i used to say I could never consider dating a married man,not to talk of one who kids , not to talk of one who is in his late forties.

He has sent me two lovely text messages, and he's also funny!.i feel he's flirting but i might be wrong.so I'm also playing it along those lines cos frankly, I dont want anythnn more.but for now I'm enjoying all the attn

Also there is gist about the guy whom I blogged about a coupla times,the one where we sent sexy txt msgs and he said he was at the gate only to risk all and find out he was in his bed in surulere,the one who we were giving each oda the eye and we eventually met months larer.d one tht someone said on a chat ho ha tht they wanted to fuck!Now he's wishing he and I had dated and he that wasnt so proud to beg.unfortunately i still like him o but no thanks.alakoba!, he was even reminiscing about old times.

Small world......my friends's hot boyfriend ...(more gist about him larer) dosent have taste,we saw him with one asa(my yoruba peeps should know wht this means)....just thought to myself....he don downgrade cos my own friend is a hot babe o.is it only me who feels when a guy/ girlwho had a hot chic/girl and suddenly breaks up and goes for a ugly chic/guy, he/she has just stepped down.lol, sounds shallow but sue me!.lol.

jokes & wise cracks

MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.


Lesson 2:
A pastor offered the church organ player a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The pastor nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The organist said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The organist once again said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor apologized 'Sorry, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the destination, the organist sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, a nd the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
You can all now go for your tea break, for just 5min.

now i paticularly loved the first,and fifth one and now for the wisecracks
can remeber just two
i think it was either bernard shaw or winston churchill

he was retuning home one night froim the pub whr he'd gone to have a coupla drinks and happened to be drunk, as he was now going home, one of these dowager ladies (read as iya isonu)now saw him......
and contorted her nose and said "ummmmph!ur drunk!....snortishly
to which he responded
"yes madam, i know,but tomorrow i'll be sober,but u maam are very ugly.

another one was an observation by either of these gentlemen
one pretty young blond model and a rich distinguised old "handsome" lady were to pass a tight walkwayand the young lady noticed the middle-aged woman trying to hustle a lil and pass first so she just shifted aside a lil as if dont touch me...oya pass... and said "age before beauty"...
the old woman just walked forward unhurriedly past her and said....."and pearls before swine.

at least i've posted!.lol.