my quiver full of arrows

random gists:

a)What is it about my work that brings all tht much insults my way.........
ok,
so like today,this owala guy walks into my office towards my desk,by the way this guy started pissing me off lately by the fact that he has started feeling familiar,he goes on to converse in yoruba as he walks in calling me omoge(in a corporate environment o)and then he starts to sing this song in the razzest way possible, bobbing his ugly head up and down..."i wana fuck u, fuck u , u alreadi know, i wana.....I think my stare and expression forced the song to a dreadful halt on his lips and with me saying in a very cold voice....."yes how can I help u?,....i think the fact that he came to my office yesterday and I was all smiley, putting on my bestest customer service act, pretending like I'm all nice and all gave him the efontry to come to my front all like tht and all, mayb if he were even some hot cute dude with the voice to die for I wont have even minded him saying"cynic, I say I wana fuck u, fuck, fuck fuck , u alredi know....I might have even joined him.....bloody irritant.


b)I WAS IN UNI WHEN THIS ONE HAPPENED

I was in class reading or should i SAYING PRETENDING TO ,wen i suddenly looked up and at a 90 degrees angle to my line of view,.....lo and behold I see this huge cock staring at me,....and i dont mean the masculine gender of the hen o.... , seriously ,my first reaction was to rub my face to make sure I wasn't seeing a mirage or something, next reaction was....I looked up and looked down again only to realise tht this guy was actully sitting beside me just not close to me but the same bench all the same. and he had brought his thn out and he was masturbating.and he was staring at me point blank with an expression which said.....wana join?this penis was very dark and large and quite intimidating that I shouted , wtf is this and packed my books all in the same instant and looked at the next person on the other side of the class nearest to me(cos the class was quite scanty.....she was female tooo so she followed my line of view and said """JESUS,"...sHE ALSO PACKED HER BOOKS,all I could think of was tht at least I have a companion to walk to the hostel area with.....aah it was too much for me I beg. OLOSHI, OLOFO....bliv it or not I ran to the hostel o

C)I'l title this one olowo idan(magic fingers).
My roommates in uni then.....quite the born again xtian type but quite pretty too,...u know all this mid length reaching skirts and scarf wearing kinda sistas,and anoda at least wassap girl, but u knw me I blend with all kinds of people o,we all went to class at nite to to read. I was reading ...at least actually reading this time around, we read o for like 3 hours, I was feeling sleepy but I was also trying my best not to sleep, cos I didnt want to luk like a laybt to the sista we went to read together with only for me to luk whr she was reading and see tht this sista was fast asleep...and I know she sleeps rily bad, as in difficult to wake kinda sleep.BUt to my utter dismay and tht of my other roommates,we noticed this guy( the sagging of jeans, earphones kinda guy...at first he was staring at her a if in awe of her beauty....like how come she looks so sweet in sleep...wen we noticed his hands reach under her skirt,the class was packed full and it was quiet so we couldnt shout or anythn...morova remember , we were reading.This guy was fumbling under her skirt and sista was turning in her sleep from left to right, right to left, we were sure he was well into her clit by now, The thn was paining us but we couldnt take it anymore, the guy's head was on the desk just as hers too was by now,THat was how, me....I couldnt take it anymore I packed my books and walked up to the desk she was being mauled at and shouted(walahi , I was past caring tht the class was full and dead quiet,....just then i notice the guy starting to pretend tht he was sleeping and was prbly sleepwalking, I shouteD sista P,gave the sista ONE very nice abara and said 'Oya lets go to the room"and practically had to pull her out of thr,

On our way to the hostel, I said to wasap girl, was I dreaming or did I just see wht I tot I saw, wassap girkl burst into laughter and said......eeh...olowo idan....and he had the guts to be pretending to be sleeping, whc kind sleep gan sef did sista thnk she was sleeping, we asked her if she noticed anythn , she shook her head, me and wassap girl decided to keep it a secret o, but each time we remeber the scenario , we sniggle and say......olowo idan, so genarlly anythn suspicious we tag it somthn idan.

Finally,

This one is actually quite silly of me but nonetheless,here goes...

customer wants to walk in first, i LOOK AT HI FROM MY SEAT, the door was alredi sying..."pls exit from the cabin as the door is only meant for one person,I snicker.....
He crosses that hurdle and makes his way towards me and I notice....He has a round funny looking face, kinda jovial and smiley,...it was all I could do to stop myself frm laughing,I SAID ONCE AGAIN IN MY PRACTISED CUSTOMER SERVICE VOICE"hOW CAN i HELP U" HE SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ...........can u help check if its redi......
I look up once again trying to stifle my laughter and I say"Whats the name sir?......
He responds.......Mr. AROWOJOBE......i COULDNT HELP IT,.... i BURST INTO LAUGHTER......I APOLOGISED IMMEDIATELY..... THOU.