cant believe i'm blogging again so soon,
here is one of the txts married man sent
note,thr hv been some editing
thnx for ur help in sorting out the trfs,i appreciate it.and i enjoyed chatting 2day,even though my conversation was interspersed with I luv us between SO &miz-cynic,and in the very presence of A(HE REFERRED TO HIMSELF INTHIRD PERSON).ahah will sort out ur coach dis week.get SO to buy ur tennis outfit, he oggles at it more than me and knws the contours of ur size 12 bodand i will look for a racquet
i havent replied yet but my reply will go somn like......
MrA,u are quite welcome,I also enjoyed chatting today,I wonder why it should bother u that I said a couple of I love us.......afterall you also called your wife in my very presence.lol.
You promised to buy the outfit,why are u changing your mind......do i sense a lil jealousy
should it matter who oggles more at it.
this is how we tease each oda so........its harmless
in oda news I am actually enjoying my job at the moment, I moved branches and this Branch is a lot more serene and orderly/organised,It also might be the very nice small chops that is sold very near here by one of our customers.......this doesnt mean he gives us freebies...stingykoko man...we get to buy it and ur dearest miz-cynic has turned it to breakfast, lunch and dinner.
I feel like rocking this friday...though I'm on a curfew....i went out 2 fridays ago and got back 3....momsie wailed...i was just thinking to myself...see yawa!!i suppose don born myself dey chastise my 15 yr old daughter for coming back so late too.
I love blogsville,I think I have read some of the funniest, most interesting,wacko,smartest, most insightful, touching,romantic thing on here.human beings are so talented....that might also be our undoing.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
yay i clocked one year on blogsville.
I promised myself i must to blog today mehn!!!!!!!!!How i no go blog?I clocked one year on blogsville today, shout out to geisha, ibiluv,boorish male , geisha:-she introduced me to blogging,ibiluv:-she encouraged me to blog,boorish male:-he inspired me to blog.
Blogging is becoming a chore for me and i hate chores....tht does not mean i wont be blogging anymore or tht i'll take down the blog, i actually go back to read old posts for fun
M y blogging today is gonna be mega random
A cute customer came to my workplace yesterday and we had interesting conversation and we have an easy camaredie but guess wht....he's probably in his late forties,married with kids ,speaks impeccable english,distinguished, successful.....I now finally realise tht i just met the met tht can actually make me consider "aristocrazy"...the danger here would be tht i could actually fall in love with him and wait for this he speaks "fone" and is a practising muslim...cute!this means never say never...i used to say I could never consider dating a married man,not to talk of one who kids , not to talk of one who is in his late forties.
He has sent me two lovely text messages, and he's also funny!.i feel he's flirting but i might be wrong.so I'm also playing it along those lines cos frankly, I dont want anythnn more.but for now I'm enjoying all the attn
Also there is gist about the guy whom I blogged about a coupla times,the one where we sent sexy txt msgs and he said he was at the gate only to risk all and find out he was in his bed in surulere,the one who we were giving each oda the eye and we eventually met months larer.d one tht someone said on a chat ho ha tht they wanted to fuck!Now he's wishing he and I had dated and he that wasnt so proud to beg.unfortunately i still like him o but no thanks.alakoba!, he was even reminiscing about old times.
Small world......my friends's hot boyfriend ...(more gist about him larer) dosent have taste,we saw him with one asa(my yoruba peeps should know wht this means)....just thought to myself....he don downgrade cos my own friend is a hot babe o.is it only me who feels when a guy/ girlwho had a hot chic/girl and suddenly breaks up and goes for a ugly chic/guy, he/she has just stepped down.lol, sounds shallow but sue me!.lol.
Blogging is becoming a chore for me and i hate chores....tht does not mean i wont be blogging anymore or tht i'll take down the blog, i actually go back to read old posts for fun
M y blogging today is gonna be mega random
A cute customer came to my workplace yesterday and we had interesting conversation and we have an easy camaredie but guess wht....he's probably in his late forties,married with kids ,speaks impeccable english,distinguished, successful.....I now finally realise tht i just met the met tht can actually make me consider "aristocrazy"...the danger here would be tht i could actually fall in love with him and wait for this he speaks "fone" and is a practising muslim...cute!this means never say never...i used to say I could never consider dating a married man,not to talk of one who kids , not to talk of one who is in his late forties.
He has sent me two lovely text messages, and he's also funny!.i feel he's flirting but i might be wrong.so I'm also playing it along those lines cos frankly, I dont want anythnn more.but for now I'm enjoying all the attn
Also there is gist about the guy whom I blogged about a coupla times,the one where we sent sexy txt msgs and he said he was at the gate only to risk all and find out he was in his bed in surulere,the one who we were giving each oda the eye and we eventually met months larer.d one tht someone said on a chat ho ha tht they wanted to fuck!Now he's wishing he and I had dated and he that wasnt so proud to beg.unfortunately i still like him o but no thanks.alakoba!, he was even reminiscing about old times.
Small world......my friends's hot boyfriend ...(more gist about him larer) dosent have taste,we saw him with one asa(my yoruba peeps should know wht this means)....just thought to myself....he don downgrade cos my own friend is a hot babe o.is it only me who feels when a guy/ girlwho had a hot chic/girl and suddenly breaks up and goes for a ugly chic/guy, he/she has just stepped down.lol, sounds shallow but sue me!.lol.
Friday, June 26, 2009
jokes & wise cracks
MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Lesson 2:
A pastor offered the church organ player a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The pastor nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The organist said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The organist once again said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor apologized 'Sorry, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the destination, the organist sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, a nd the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
You can all now go for your tea break, for just 5min.
now i paticularly loved the first,and fifth one and now for the wisecracks
can remeber just two
i think it was either bernard shaw or winston churchill
he was retuning home one night froim the pub whr he'd gone to have a coupla drinks and happened to be drunk, as he was now going home, one of these dowager ladies (read as iya isonu)now saw him......
and contorted her nose and said "ummmmph!ur drunk!....snortishly
to which he responded
"yes madam, i know,but tomorrow i'll be sober,but u maam are very ugly.
another one was an observation by either of these gentlemen
one pretty young blond model and a rich distinguised old "handsome" lady were to pass a tight walkwayand the young lady noticed the middle-aged woman trying to hustle a lil and pass first so she just shifted aside a lil as if dont touch me...oya pass... and said "age before beauty"...
the old woman just walked forward unhurriedly past her and said....."and pearls before swine.
at least i've posted!.lol.
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.
Lesson 2:
A pastor offered the church organ player a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The pastor nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The organist said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The organist once again said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor apologized 'Sorry, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the destination, the organist sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.
Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, a nd the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.
Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..
Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
You can all now go for your tea break, for just 5min.
now i paticularly loved the first,and fifth one and now for the wisecracks
can remeber just two
i think it was either bernard shaw or winston churchill
he was retuning home one night froim the pub whr he'd gone to have a coupla drinks and happened to be drunk, as he was now going home, one of these dowager ladies (read as iya isonu)now saw him......
and contorted her nose and said "ummmmph!ur drunk!....snortishly
to which he responded
"yes madam, i know,but tomorrow i'll be sober,but u maam are very ugly.
another one was an observation by either of these gentlemen
one pretty young blond model and a rich distinguised old "handsome" lady were to pass a tight walkwayand the young lady noticed the middle-aged woman trying to hustle a lil and pass first so she just shifted aside a lil as if dont touch me...oya pass... and said "age before beauty"...
the old woman just walked forward unhurriedly past her and said....."and pearls before swine.
at least i've posted!.lol.
Saturday, June 20, 2009
its not sexy!....
its not sexy!......
why do guys feel like they have to keep you guessing or wht game is it they are playing anyways
i dont get it, mgbeks wrote something about this not too long ago....is it tht guys are spoilt ni o
pls guys help me out here.....im trying to understand.......from your perspective
@is it tht girls are too plenty nowadays u'd feel stupid if u ended up not picking what u supposedly think is the best so u try not to commit to anyone until ur sure whc one u want?????
b)is it tht u are still not used to rejection tht u want to bide your time and be sure the girl is not gona say no when u eventually get the liver to ask.
C)you seem non-committal cos commitment scares u
D)u wish u never have to get married.duh!we do too!
e)u want to postpone getting married for as long as you can since u know its inevitable.
F)plain old greed or u cant seem to make up your mind about the girl u want
i'mma try to paint some scenarios cos frankly the scenarios themselves are so shady or inexplicable tht i'm wondering how i'll succeed painting them.
forgive my language pls cos i'm, in a ranting mode
scenario 1:-asshole has a girlfriend,does not deny the fact, girl has given him like 5 yrs of her life so....(ko mo bo se ma gbegba....he doesnt know how to opt out).....has another chick he blows hot and cold with.......tells her ish like why did he not meet her before the woman he's dating now and all....whts girl in question supposed to feel........girl in question now has some guy giving her attention and all and asshole feels he has the right to be jealous.been acting funny and cold and downright immature...excuse me....being in a relationship himself has taken away the right for him to feel jealous about another man giving girl in question attn.get over urself and stop giving attitude.......afterall he categorically informed girl in question he's in a relationship.
scenario 2:-mofo gets all up close and personal and does mushy stuvs,refers to them hypothetically hving kids together, at the verge of dating once but backed out under the pretense of girl not being submissive cos he was a domineering male.resurrects back and wriggls/warms his way back into girls life...but biding time ,not.........giving anythn away as to whether he wants to be friends or lovers.....misyans one day..and girl gives him the silent treatment for a few days now he's gone awol. for his sake he had better not re-appear cos kasala go burst! ........claps hands together....wht happened to the days when guys offend you i.e when they hv not become full bfs and they are the ones trying to get back into 3 3 ur good graces.....
scenARIO 3:dbanj!!!!!!!!!kini koko????!!!!!!!!!!!whts this guy's 411 as in wht does he want...like standard how many days, months/years does it take to decide whether u like a girl enuff to want to ask her out.......for goodness sakes its not marriage its just going out....if it does not work out u can back out..........u act all mushy mushy, closey gooey and wht hv u....make funny remarks and give babe ideas...all the while girl does not know ur "p".....infact ore oriburuku wo lobinrin ati okunrin bara won se kiri- (whc kain stupid friendship boy and girl dey do up and down)
infact i have concluded tht my fuse is getting shorter for guys who fall into any of these 3 categories as in wtf!wht the heck are u feeling like.....or u pass derogatory remarks and expect babe to keep mute...cos of wht,ur the man or wht or notori afe je malu a wa ma pe malu ni broda(because we wan chop cow, we go come dey call vow bros)...nonsense!
why do guys feel like they have to keep you guessing or wht game is it they are playing anyways
i dont get it, mgbeks wrote something about this not too long ago....is it tht guys are spoilt ni o
pls guys help me out here.....im trying to understand.......from your perspective
@is it tht girls are too plenty nowadays u'd feel stupid if u ended up not picking what u supposedly think is the best so u try not to commit to anyone until ur sure whc one u want?????
b)is it tht u are still not used to rejection tht u want to bide your time and be sure the girl is not gona say no when u eventually get the liver to ask.
C)you seem non-committal cos commitment scares u
D)u wish u never have to get married.duh!we do too!
e)u want to postpone getting married for as long as you can since u know its inevitable.
F)plain old greed or u cant seem to make up your mind about the girl u want
i'mma try to paint some scenarios cos frankly the scenarios themselves are so shady or inexplicable tht i'm wondering how i'll succeed painting them.
forgive my language pls cos i'm, in a ranting mode
scenario 1:-asshole has a girlfriend,does not deny the fact, girl has given him like 5 yrs of her life so....(ko mo bo se ma gbegba....he doesnt know how to opt out).....has another chick he blows hot and cold with.......tells her ish like why did he not meet her before the woman he's dating now and all....whts girl in question supposed to feel........girl in question now has some guy giving her attention and all and asshole feels he has the right to be jealous.been acting funny and cold and downright immature...excuse me....being in a relationship himself has taken away the right for him to feel jealous about another man giving girl in question attn.get over urself and stop giving attitude.......afterall he categorically informed girl in question he's in a relationship.
scenario 2:-mofo gets all up close and personal and does mushy stuvs,refers to them hypothetically hving kids together, at the verge of dating once but backed out under the pretense of girl not being submissive cos he was a domineering male.resurrects back and wriggls/warms his way back into girls life...but biding time ,not.........giving anythn away as to whether he wants to be friends or lovers.....misyans one day..and girl gives him the silent treatment for a few days now he's gone awol. for his sake he had better not re-appear cos kasala go burst! ........claps hands together....wht happened to the days when guys offend you i.e when they hv not become full bfs and they are the ones trying to get back into 3 3 ur good graces.....
scenARIO 3:dbanj!!!!!!!!!kini koko????!!!!!!!!!!!whts this guy's 411 as in wht does he want...like standard how many days, months/years does it take to decide whether u like a girl enuff to want to ask her out.......for goodness sakes its not marriage its just going out....if it does not work out u can back out..........u act all mushy mushy, closey gooey and wht hv u....make funny remarks and give babe ideas...all the while girl does not know ur "p".....infact ore oriburuku wo lobinrin ati okunrin bara won se kiri- (whc kain stupid friendship boy and girl dey do up and down)
infact i have concluded tht my fuse is getting shorter for guys who fall into any of these 3 categories as in wtf!wht the heck are u feeling like.....or u pass derogatory remarks and expect babe to keep mute...cos of wht,ur the man or wht or notori afe je malu a wa ma pe malu ni broda(because we wan chop cow, we go come dey call vow bros)...nonsense!
Monday, June 8, 2009
ODE TO MY DAD
HERE GOES.......
ode to my popsie or is it poksie...like one razz girl i met during my service year.she also used to call pepsi, peksi(all with a yoruba accent).
although we are not as close as father and daughter should be, i love u all the same
I remember weekends, we will assemble and u will play sunday ade on the turntable.....i remeber it so vividly..."what do u desire wht do u have under o....sweet banana....sweet sweeet swweet banana....and u will pick the best dancer and give her a up of "samco icecream.fun!
or when u gather the neighbourhood kids and play thriller for all of us and we'd all be excited.
I remember when we were in primary school, we were a lot closer.... 4 slices of bread,and chasing us out of the house with koboko anytime past 7.30am so we won't be late for school.
I remember the stories, jokes,teasingriddles,...half a circle, a circle, half a circle, a circle, and a triangle with 2 legs equals COCOA. or was it the one i found so hilarious......there was this ruler, we all should know him, he was a dictator,he was from niger state, he became a ruler in 1985.....how tall is the ruler.....naturally we were racking our brains thinking how tall babangida would be, until he finally tells us...a ruler is 12 inches long.
oR IS IT ONE DAY WHEN U ASKED ME TO SWEEP YOUR ROOM AND IT WAS SO HOT, I WAS JUST GRUMBLING AND MUTTERING UNDER MY BREATHE...OOOH God! this stupid broom now, too short, all my back is paining me....too strong it cannot even sweep very well....pschew...! UNIL I HEARD YOUR LOUD VOICE...."CYNIC....ALWAYS GRUMBLING...only a lazy workman quarrels with his tools.
or is it when we write our boardingg house list and u take out ur glasses and pen and slash everythn into half, we soon learnt to outsmart u though, the next time we doubled everythn on our list so when u halfed it, wen got everythn we wanted.lol.
or is it your powerful amala and jollofrice even sweeter than momsie's own sef when mummy travelled in 1987 to kaduna for a course for 3weeks and left 3 of us to your care without any househelp.
or the fun we used to have when we go to yetkem and buy those humongous steaming hot meatpie tht we would eat for the whole day and still not be able to finish
or one text message u left on my phone on my 25th birthday....SayingHAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING....youth is the best part of any human's life,u're at the peak of your youth, invest IT in your future"
i love you dada even though we might "differ" a lot of times
ode to my popsie or is it poksie...like one razz girl i met during my service year.she also used to call pepsi, peksi(all with a yoruba accent).
although we are not as close as father and daughter should be, i love u all the same
I remember weekends, we will assemble and u will play sunday ade on the turntable.....i remeber it so vividly..."what do u desire wht do u have under o....sweet banana....sweet sweeet swweet banana....and u will pick the best dancer and give her a up of "samco icecream.fun!
or when u gather the neighbourhood kids and play thriller for all of us and we'd all be excited.
I remember when we were in primary school, we were a lot closer.... 4 slices of bread,and chasing us out of the house with koboko anytime past 7.30am so we won't be late for school.
I remember the stories, jokes,teasingriddles,...half a circle, a circle, half a circle, a circle, and a triangle with 2 legs equals COCOA. or was it the one i found so hilarious......there was this ruler, we all should know him, he was a dictator,he was from niger state, he became a ruler in 1985.....how tall is the ruler.....naturally we were racking our brains thinking how tall babangida would be, until he finally tells us...a ruler is 12 inches long.
oR IS IT ONE DAY WHEN U ASKED ME TO SWEEP YOUR ROOM AND IT WAS SO HOT, I WAS JUST GRUMBLING AND MUTTERING UNDER MY BREATHE...OOOH God! this stupid broom now, too short, all my back is paining me....too strong it cannot even sweep very well....pschew...! UNIL I HEARD YOUR LOUD VOICE...."CYNIC....ALWAYS GRUMBLING...only a lazy workman quarrels with his tools.
or is it when we write our boardingg house list and u take out ur glasses and pen and slash everythn into half, we soon learnt to outsmart u though, the next time we doubled everythn on our list so when u halfed it, wen got everythn we wanted.lol.
or is it your powerful amala and jollofrice even sweeter than momsie's own sef when mummy travelled in 1987 to kaduna for a course for 3weeks and left 3 of us to your care without any househelp.
or the fun we used to have when we go to yetkem and buy those humongous steaming hot meatpie tht we would eat for the whole day and still not be able to finish
or one text message u left on my phone on my 25th birthday....SayingHAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING....youth is the best part of any human's life,u're at the peak of your youth, invest IT in your future"
i love you dada even though we might "differ" a lot of times
Monday, May 25, 2009
CORNY/IRRITATING TOASTING LINES/SITUATIONS
boy:-your father is a thief!
girl:-en! wetin u say, abemi?
boy:-cos he stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes
girl:-i said leave me alone, na by force, i said i'm not dating you
boy:-u see, i cant leave u alone......"your name has been written on the chapel of the cathedral of my heart"
boy:-excuse me,excuse me,excuse....
girl:-yes....
boy:-its like , when i saw u, my heart started doing me somehow and i knew i just had to talk to you
girl:-en en
boy:-will u be my girlfriend?
girl:-just like that, is it a beans?
boy:-ok....you can go!
wtf!
Thursday, May 14, 2009
COULD IT BE I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IT
I'm feeling really stupid as I bring this issue to you my people of blogsville,
met on a holiday trip to ghana in march 2008- check
same guy i had my last "rumu rumu" with-check
calls me at least once a day to say nothing in particular but how was ur day, tell me how ur day went and he really listens-check
he sees me off halfway frm his house even though i have my car-check
i miss him sometimes so i also call him at least once a day-check
he gets super jealous when i tell him i went to watch a movie with a colleague-check...(his response...."see, u are reporting urself")
he calls me up when he hears a song he knows i like on radio-check
I called him once when a radio station had rock on their playlist...he loves rock.-check
if i go to his house and i'm hungry,he says the kitchen is all urs baby-check
i once asked him wht his his "specs"...his response was "you"-check
so pls am I in denial tht we have a relationship?pls tell me i'm not.
met on a holiday trip to ghana in march 2008- check
same guy i had my last "rumu rumu" with-check
calls me at least once a day to say nothing in particular but how was ur day, tell me how ur day went and he really listens-check
he sees me off halfway frm his house even though i have my car-check
i miss him sometimes so i also call him at least once a day-check
he gets super jealous when i tell him i went to watch a movie with a colleague-check...(his response...."see, u are reporting urself")
he calls me up when he hears a song he knows i like on radio-check
I called him once when a radio station had rock on their playlist...he loves rock.-check
if i go to his house and i'm hungry,he says the kitchen is all urs baby-check
i once asked him wht his his "specs"...his response was "you"-check
so pls am I in denial tht we have a relationship?pls tell me i'm not.
Monday, April 27, 2009
out of body experience
out of body experience.....i swear my peeps this na testimony.
after the headmistress office incidence,i had a drought as in nothing nothing,zilch, nada!full on conji!( i think i'm a very sexual being) ....i decided i was due for some rumurumu...burrax can explain wht this means.According to one theory by a blogger, i cant remember who now.....she was talking abt which is better for ur rep,1.doing it with a newbie who u'd neva done it with before or reducing the numbers by keeping it in the circles of pple whom uve had before and u've now broken up with orm something,Obviously i chose the latter . I rationalised tht since we had "history"....we almost dated but we decided we no go gel cos he is one with a very strong xter just like i am but we neva lacked tht chemistry.
At least we had sampled before, a session stolen even thou officially we hadnt started going out .Saying this guy is a minister for women's affairs is putting it mildly, I almost broke my no penetration rule cos ole boy was just too damn good , wetin!, wht this guy could do with his hands en!i no fit prophecy its a case of experience na best teacher,if only to have this on the regular, abeg i fit date the guy,seriously!
Kissing...on a scale of 1-5 ....i give him 4.9
nuzzling and knowing how to use his tongue.....4.9
infact let me not go on for fear tht he might be reading this and his head would be swelling.
I didnt even know when I "offed" my clothes and bra and "payint" by myself o....to borrow jenifa's words, we were evrywhr, his study, sitting room, floor, bed,name it...i didnt believe i had tht side to me...
I was just answering un asked questions with my yea yea, yea!oh yes!
Prophesying all sorts.....Jesus!...and I'm not even a xtian o
swearing! at no one in particlar damn! shit!, fuck!
If I WAS SHOWN A VIDEO OF MYSELFI WOULDA BEEN ASHAMED.
Even though his member wasnt inside me at any point i felt thoroughly fucked.my skin pores even breathed easier....I felt my skin soften.....did I mention he also gives a bad ass massage.
Didnt know having light feathery kisses trailed down ur back could be so.......damn sexy, my toes were crawling.....I hope I would have this kind of sex with my hubby o cos now tht i've known thisa I wont want to settle for less.
after the headmistress office incidence,i had a drought as in nothing nothing,zilch, nada!full on conji!( i think i'm a very sexual being) ....i decided i was due for some rumurumu...burrax can explain wht this means.According to one theory by a blogger, i cant remember who now.....she was talking abt which is better for ur rep,1.doing it with a newbie who u'd neva done it with before or reducing the numbers by keeping it in the circles of pple whom uve had before and u've now broken up with orm something,Obviously i chose the latter . I rationalised tht since we had "history"....we almost dated but we decided we no go gel cos he is one with a very strong xter just like i am but we neva lacked tht chemistry.
At least we had sampled before, a session stolen even thou officially we hadnt started going out .Saying this guy is a minister for women's affairs is putting it mildly, I almost broke my no penetration rule cos ole boy was just too damn good , wetin!, wht this guy could do with his hands en!i no fit prophecy its a case of experience na best teacher,if only to have this on the regular, abeg i fit date the guy,seriously!
Kissing...on a scale of 1-5 ....i give him 4.9
nuzzling and knowing how to use his tongue.....4.9
infact let me not go on for fear tht he might be reading this and his head would be swelling.
I didnt even know when I "offed" my clothes and bra and "payint" by myself o....to borrow jenifa's words, we were evrywhr, his study, sitting room, floor, bed,name it...i didnt believe i had tht side to me...
I was just answering un asked questions with my yea yea, yea!oh yes!
Prophesying all sorts.....Jesus!...and I'm not even a xtian o
swearing! at no one in particlar damn! shit!, fuck!
If I WAS SHOWN A VIDEO OF MYSELFI WOULDA BEEN ASHAMED.
Even though his member wasnt inside me at any point i felt thoroughly fucked.my skin pores even breathed easier....I felt my skin soften.....did I mention he also gives a bad ass massage.
Didnt know having light feathery kisses trailed down ur back could be so.......damn sexy, my toes were crawling.....I hope I would have this kind of sex with my hubby o cos now tht i've known thisa I wont want to settle for less.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
S.W.T
He was my s.w.t –(sexy without trying)
I was his d.d.g – (drop dead gorgeous)
I was his Bonny
He was my Clyde
If he was archilles
Then I was his “archilles heel”
I was his Jada
He was my Will
I was his Juliet
He was my Romeo
.......fast forward to the present......
Text message:-“ U told T’s friend I was desperate 2 come to your house:-that was cruel.
U put our conversations on speaker:-that was low.I dont really think I knew you.
Excuse me boss you have a text message
“My world does not revolve around what people think of me.I cant remember putting our conversation on speaker@anytym,I told him u wanted to come 2 collect T’s cheque & even said u would come with ur boyfriend.my 1st year at my workplace I was being crucified as the relationship breaker by this friend& i neva confronted you abt it,when ur boyfriend called,dis friend was with me& i said to him, I neva came in the way of his relationhip.What a way to let me know ur around.Pls focus ur aggression someplace else.
Now to a brief preamble which would help in understanding this post
REMEMBER THE DEMON,remember my Bro post,remember a post where I was woken up in the middle of the nite confronted with a txt I sent& received....it was all the demon. Last time I spoke/communicated with the demon was 2 and half yrs ago.....boyfriend and I which was being referred to were having serious problems cos of the demon...I was still in love with him..Boyfriend actually called the demon.....said the demon said I was the one still contacting him, ...(this wasnt true btw )tht we had broken up...,he was contacting me too, though he made more of an effort to move on than i did...he also had a girlfriend.Funny I didnt realise I was in love with the demon till I started dating boyfriend....BOYFRIEND AND I even got engaged even though I realised later I still had feelings for the demon.....theres a lot of bitterness cos it involves my brother....he lost his friendship with my brother when everything blew open cos I’m very close to T SO i TOLD HIM everything EVENTUALLY WHEN it was all over.cos we kept lying to T tht we didnt have anythn goin on.Ironocally T introduced us unknowingly but did not want us to have anythn to do with each oda but we had opened pandora’s box.T’S friend is his colleague at his current work place and also happens to be BOYFRIEND’S VERY CLOSE FRIEND.The last gist that broke the camel’s back was Boyfriend actually telling me tht T’s and his mutual friend said he put our conversations on speaker and he said I was desperate to come to his house even after we stopped seeing.I neva confronted the demon for a year since I heard , it helped to hate him and forget about him,until now...which brought the txt messages.
In conclusion,
All I feel now is this DIDO’S SONG
See u when u’re forty-actual title of the song incase u wana listen to it.
I’ll highlight the relevant portion of the songs with a lil explanation
Idrove around in circles for 3hrs
It was bound to happen that i’d end up at urs.........then that is,when the love was still sharking me.
I temporary forgot ther’s better days to come
I thought that i’d give it just one more chance....not really,given up on tht long ago
Cos I want tonite wht I’d been waiting for Would I find tonite what I’ve been warned about...... the stuff they said he said/did which led to the txt anyways
You think u are complicated,deep mystery to hold
Well its taken me a while to see u’re not so special....pretty much wht i feel now
....fast forward the lyrics to
So see u when ur forty...lost and all alone....frankly thts wht i wish him
Being comforted by strangers who never needed to know,not sad cos u lost me>...more like i lost him
Sad because you thot it was cool to be sad
You think that misery will make you stand apart from the crowd....as in causing me misery cos i’m not sure if he’s miserable...thou i wish
If you had walked past me today,I wouldnt have picked you out...he claimed he saw me recently in one of his earlier txts and tot i saw him but i swear i didnt.....so I wouldnt have picked him out
Now i’ve seen tonite,how could i waste my time.......waste my time sending tht txt in the first place.
Cos i’ve seen tonite ur just a boy, not a man.......his response.........very childishAnd i’m not coming back.......yep
I was his d.d.g – (drop dead gorgeous)
I was his Bonny
He was my Clyde
If he was archilles
Then I was his “archilles heel”
I was his Jada
He was my Will
I was his Juliet
He was my Romeo
.......fast forward to the present......
Text message:-“ U told T’s friend I was desperate 2 come to your house:-that was cruel.
U put our conversations on speaker:-that was low.I dont really think I knew you.
Excuse me boss you have a text message
“My world does not revolve around what people think of me.I cant remember putting our conversation on speaker@anytym,I told him u wanted to come 2 collect T’s cheque & even said u would come with ur boyfriend.my 1st year at my workplace I was being crucified as the relationship breaker by this friend& i neva confronted you abt it,when ur boyfriend called,dis friend was with me& i said to him, I neva came in the way of his relationhip.What a way to let me know ur around.Pls focus ur aggression someplace else.
Now to a brief preamble which would help in understanding this post
REMEMBER THE DEMON,remember my Bro post,remember a post where I was woken up in the middle of the nite confronted with a txt I sent& received....it was all the demon. Last time I spoke/communicated with the demon was 2 and half yrs ago.....boyfriend and I which was being referred to were having serious problems cos of the demon...I was still in love with him..Boyfriend actually called the demon.....said the demon said I was the one still contacting him, ...(this wasnt true btw )tht we had broken up...,he was contacting me too, though he made more of an effort to move on than i did...he also had a girlfriend.Funny I didnt realise I was in love with the demon till I started dating boyfriend....BOYFRIEND AND I even got engaged even though I realised later I still had feelings for the demon.....theres a lot of bitterness cos it involves my brother....he lost his friendship with my brother when everything blew open cos I’m very close to T SO i TOLD HIM everything EVENTUALLY WHEN it was all over.cos we kept lying to T tht we didnt have anythn goin on.Ironocally T introduced us unknowingly but did not want us to have anythn to do with each oda but we had opened pandora’s box.T’S friend is his colleague at his current work place and also happens to be BOYFRIEND’S VERY CLOSE FRIEND.The last gist that broke the camel’s back was Boyfriend actually telling me tht T’s and his mutual friend said he put our conversations on speaker and he said I was desperate to come to his house even after we stopped seeing.I neva confronted the demon for a year since I heard , it helped to hate him and forget about him,until now...which brought the txt messages.
In conclusion,
All I feel now is this DIDO’S SONG
See u when u’re forty-actual title of the song incase u wana listen to it.
I’ll highlight the relevant portion of the songs with a lil explanation
Idrove around in circles for 3hrs
It was bound to happen that i’d end up at urs.........then that is,when the love was still sharking me.
I temporary forgot ther’s better days to come
I thought that i’d give it just one more chance....not really,given up on tht long ago
Cos I want tonite wht I’d been waiting for Would I find tonite what I’ve been warned about...... the stuff they said he said/did which led to the txt anyways
You think u are complicated,deep mystery to hold
Well its taken me a while to see u’re not so special....pretty much wht i feel now
....fast forward the lyrics to
So see u when ur forty...lost and all alone....frankly thts wht i wish him
Being comforted by strangers who never needed to know,not sad cos u lost me>...more like i lost him
Sad because you thot it was cool to be sad
You think that misery will make you stand apart from the crowd....as in causing me misery cos i’m not sure if he’s miserable...thou i wish
If you had walked past me today,I wouldnt have picked you out...he claimed he saw me recently in one of his earlier txts and tot i saw him but i swear i didnt.....so I wouldnt have picked him out
Now i’ve seen tonite,how could i waste my time.......waste my time sending tht txt in the first place.
Cos i’ve seen tonite ur just a boy, not a man.......his response.........very childishAnd i’m not coming back.......yep
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
excerpts from my teenage years
What is it sef, i must to blog today...haba na me be the CEO of this company?
My teenage years was very interesting come to think of it, i was young , i was happy and i guess, I was foolish.lol.Like a true arian I had lots of experiences/ adventures.here are some memorable ones
Foolishness
1.I had this class crush, looking back now i think it was mutual, we used to talk more philosophical stuff and the likeness was based more on intelligent boy likes intelligent girl...u see i was very smart for my age then and not so shy but very bold and outspoken.lets call him Etnoka, to me he was cool raised to the power 99, he didnt dress spetacularly but i was kinda of a nerd lover, i loved my guys brilliant...he used to write me poems and steal glances at me...he used to awkwardly look for moments to share a laff here and there with me....and wait for this i used to stalk him...back then it did not feel like stalking to me.
I would baff up walk the distance of say from ikoyi to vi, i was very athletic then,i would walk the length of his street twice hoping to catch a glimpse of him...my lil sis used to tell me that "wait na, ok if he now comes out one day and sees u on his street, wht will u say.....em...emm...i was just passing by or wht...wouldnt u feel stupid?!I used to argue then tht i could always claim i had a friend on his street....blah blah blah...seeing him made my day.....i used to see him sometimes and make sure he didnt see me.....so much for puppy love.i was 14....ma mother must not even hear of this.My mom that saw me and my sis watching one show on t.v,The setting was nite-club....we were in out of uni then o....All of sudden we saw madam A.....THTS WHT i'LL BE CALLING MOMSIE..clapping her hands together saying ...orisirisi....these girls tht they sent to school to go and read, they are in the nite club dancing with men.....she then snapped her fingers.....God forbid my miz-cynic and C(MY SIS) be like this children....Thank GOD i BROUGHT UP MY KIDS VERY WELL..
Needless to say I just turned my head to look at my sis and we both burst out into lafta.....In our minds we echoed...indeed!boya le mo(if only u knew).lol .
Youth...(for want of a term for ..."be young")
Like my mom will say "nigba ti mo wa ni omididun(apparently omididun was where she grew up as a young lady)...this translates to "when I was in omididun.In my days I used many a guys to "tayin"...this means to do yanga....to rubbish...e.t.c.If you fucked up once...no mercy.....I just fashi ur side pronto....I was young...and i felt like I could conquer the world.
I never fell in love with any one and i used to show guys then
I remember one episode one guy who really liked me but was afraid of my mouth, cos men! was it legendary....even my mom used to say she doesnt know how I became like this....tht of all her kids I was the last to talk coherently and even then i used to sound very funny cos of my voice...for the yoruba peeps....she used to say I talk like an "osanyin"...this translates in english to mean a funny ancestral deity tht talks funny.anyways....so this bros decided to follow me all the way from lesson to my house a good 30 mins walk....
I kept feeling someone was following me but each time i turned to look i see like a mirage of someone darting across the street..Finally when I got to my house....I saw him....He came towards me and said...'I LIKE YOU A LOT...HE NOW HANDED ME THIS BOX OF CHOCOLATES....that was when ur dearest cynic got really angry and started to rain abuses on the poor boy..."ehn ehn...tht was why YOU NOW FOLLOWED ME FROM LESSON TO MY HOUSE....u must be desperate o....SO BECAUSE U WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS....YOU NOW BROUGHT CHOCOLATES ABI...AS IN IM A PROSTITUTE...WHO U'LL ONLY GIVE CHOCOLATES TO SLEEP WITH....before i count to 10 , u had better carry ur stupid self +ur chocolates and disappear into thin air. nonsense!I was 15 i did not know better.
This young man i ended up dating4 yrs later...It took him that long.lol.
to be continued.
My teenage years was very interesting come to think of it, i was young , i was happy and i guess, I was foolish.lol.Like a true arian I had lots of experiences/ adventures.here are some memorable ones
Foolishness
1.I had this class crush, looking back now i think it was mutual, we used to talk more philosophical stuff and the likeness was based more on intelligent boy likes intelligent girl...u see i was very smart for my age then and not so shy but very bold and outspoken.lets call him Etnoka, to me he was cool raised to the power 99, he didnt dress spetacularly but i was kinda of a nerd lover, i loved my guys brilliant...he used to write me poems and steal glances at me...he used to awkwardly look for moments to share a laff here and there with me....and wait for this i used to stalk him...back then it did not feel like stalking to me.
I would baff up walk the distance of say from ikoyi to vi, i was very athletic then,i would walk the length of his street twice hoping to catch a glimpse of him...my lil sis used to tell me that "wait na, ok if he now comes out one day and sees u on his street, wht will u say.....em...emm...i was just passing by or wht...wouldnt u feel stupid?!I used to argue then tht i could always claim i had a friend on his street....blah blah blah...seeing him made my day.....i used to see him sometimes and make sure he didnt see me.....so much for puppy love.i was 14....ma mother must not even hear of this.My mom that saw me and my sis watching one show on t.v,The setting was nite-club....we were in out of uni then o....All of sudden we saw madam A.....THTS WHT i'LL BE CALLING MOMSIE..clapping her hands together saying ...orisirisi....these girls tht they sent to school to go and read, they are in the nite club dancing with men.....she then snapped her fingers.....God forbid my miz-cynic and C(MY SIS) be like this children....Thank GOD i BROUGHT UP MY KIDS VERY WELL..
Needless to say I just turned my head to look at my sis and we both burst out into lafta.....In our minds we echoed...indeed!boya le mo(if only u knew).lol .
Youth...(for want of a term for ..."be young")
Like my mom will say "nigba ti mo wa ni omididun(apparently omididun was where she grew up as a young lady)...this translates to "when I was in omididun.In my days I used many a guys to "tayin"...this means to do yanga....to rubbish...e.t.c.If you fucked up once...no mercy.....I just fashi ur side pronto....I was young...and i felt like I could conquer the world.
I never fell in love with any one and i used to show guys then
I remember one episode one guy who really liked me but was afraid of my mouth, cos men! was it legendary....even my mom used to say she doesnt know how I became like this....tht of all her kids I was the last to talk coherently and even then i used to sound very funny cos of my voice...for the yoruba peeps....she used to say I talk like an "osanyin"...this translates in english to mean a funny ancestral deity tht talks funny.anyways....so this bros decided to follow me all the way from lesson to my house a good 30 mins walk....
I kept feeling someone was following me but each time i turned to look i see like a mirage of someone darting across the street..Finally when I got to my house....I saw him....He came towards me and said...'I LIKE YOU A LOT...HE NOW HANDED ME THIS BOX OF CHOCOLATES....that was when ur dearest cynic got really angry and started to rain abuses on the poor boy..."ehn ehn...tht was why YOU NOW FOLLOWED ME FROM LESSON TO MY HOUSE....u must be desperate o....SO BECAUSE U WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS....YOU NOW BROUGHT CHOCOLATES ABI...AS IN IM A PROSTITUTE...WHO U'LL ONLY GIVE CHOCOLATES TO SLEEP WITH....before i count to 10 , u had better carry ur stupid self +ur chocolates and disappear into thin air. nonsense!I was 15 i did not know better.
This young man i ended up dating4 yrs later...It took him that long.lol.
to be continued.
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