Friday, October 24, 2008


Kess,Jojo,Bibi and Fifi were friends by virtue of the fact that they attend the same junior high and were about to take their examinations for promotion onto the next half of high school....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively so naturally their talks revolved around boys most of the time.

Adrian,Kasali,Bimbo and Jack were also friends in the same clique, naturally their own conversations only revolved around girls too.....Kess's clique to be precise. Bimbo was known throughout school for his notoriety.He was a truant,he was defiant,but he had style.Kasali was just plain razz but the clique was very protective of himbecause he was very funny and kind natured,.Adrian was Mr cool....decent, gentlemanly and Mr goody too shoes.Jack was mostly freelance....rolls with the clique only some of the time but he was the most handsome

The most likely of the pairings should have been Kess with Adrian,Jojo with Bimbo....because Jojo is very cheeky, naughty,sexy and just a plain tease.Bibi with Jack(if only Jack knew of Bibi's existence and Bibi would admit to her crew that she had a lil crush on Jack) I said Jack.....was not usually with the crew.Kasali with no one and Fifi with no one.

That Adrian.....always behaving like a teacher's pet,obeying all school rules and ish....psheeeeew....quipped Jojo,she was wearing her legendary tight mini,rolling her big ass on her stilettos as usual.....Se replied Fifi.That Bimbo wah for him o...what do u know abt him....i heard the silly boy can just see a girl on the road....and just start dissing her like that....for no reason o....Don't mind that one one...stupid boy.....thts why he's always failing all his exams...he wont go and read his books....interjected..Fifi.Fail ke!he doesn't fail o...he can be an ass but he's very intelligent o....and i even heard if he likes you....he'll be totally decent to you.....well sha na wa for him finished Kess.

As if to prove that he's the true son of his father....Bimbo was sighted in the distance.....smiling and saying excuse me...excuse me baby....what the fuck is wrong with u sef....ur not even fine.....,he moves on to the next chick.......Hey!Hey!.....the girl in question quickens her pace but trust Bimbo to quicken his too and the girl had to turn back....seeing the girl in question had tribal marks and was quite ugly Bimbo....quickly says...en!.oh sorry...not u...not u... and laughs as he continues on his way...seeing the ladies......he calls out hi ladies......jOJO REPLIES....HEY! bIMBO.

Kess was surprised that Jojo was on speaking terms with Bimbo.....The ladies settled in their class and resume gisting since the teacher was not in yet.Secretly Kess started developing a crush on Bimbo. unknown to her Bimbo too had already told his friends that he liked her.

SO one afternoon...when they were teasing each oda bout .....guys! of course as usual....Jojo casually mentioned that
I even think Bimbo likes u sef...."God forbid"....Kess snapped her fingers "tufiaka".but as things progressed....Bimbo kept on sending emissaries to her while her clique teased her constantly...he even wrote her a love letter...which she made sure she tore right when his clique was watching....Bimbo became very subdued and did not relent...even publicly telling his guys tht he really like Kess and he won't give up...until she agreess...only for Kess to find out from 3rd party gist that emanated from Adrian...that Bimbo bragged to his crew that he should be given 2 weeks and he would be in Kess's pants.Kess was now in a stae of confusion and pandemonium and rage.She marched up to BIMBO AND GAVE HIM A PIECE OF HER MIND.Bimbo's denial fell onto deaf biffs for Bimbo was birthed and Bimbo realised he no longer had a chance with Kess.

Kess was walking to class one morning when she saw a picture tht would stay in her mind forever,ADRIAN WAS CARRYING A BABY....AND HE LOOKED so so cute and vulnerable.....the birth of another crush! she imagined him and her carrying their baby together.

Adrian and Kess became close.......only for Kess to find out Bimbo was innocent and the rumour was spread by none other than innocent looking Adrian....apparently Adrian too was suckers for Adrian,All this was disclosed to Jojo by razz Kasali who felt IT WASN'T FAIR and tht they were only trying to capitalise on the fact Bimbo was a "bad' boy wheras the real McCoy was Adrian .

My peeps oya o....d ball is in your gentle in ur comments cos ....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively, and Kess might just be non other than.......MIZ-CYNIC.

Sunday, October 19, 2008

happily eva afta?

I'm too cynical 2 believe they'll live happily ever aunts i.v 4 her wedding just got to me now through an emmissary from my grandpa at the villa.sometimes I'm so proud of my grandpa,his mind is still very sharp and his writing is even better than mine at 87.whao!wish i could scan d letter sef.You are wondering why its my grandpa who hd 2 send these i.vs 2 us se, my mom and aunt had a big fallout when my mom told her 2 get out of our house.u see my mom thinks this aunt of ours who by d way is 43,was spoilt by their parents cos she's d last born and she feels dis contributed in my no means a small way 2 not finding a husband up until now.Im happy 4 her but cant help wondering about certain she marryn dis guy becos she loves him and/or for companionship.does love even mata at dat age anymo?my silly sis even had 2 mention that if there's hope for my aunt at 43,then there's hope for her at 26-silly girl,she claims its been a while since she's been bn toasted.2.does dis guy hv kids already,according 2 d i.v,they will be married in a gospel church so im sure he is not married at the moment.3.he looks younger like late 30s but then again my sis says men look younger than woman at that age.4.if he's divorced.does he have kids?wil he b committed 2 having more kids with my aunt as she who is nearing menopause or oops 4 all I knw she migt have hit menopause..we are not close so i wouldn't knw.ultimately,im happy 4 her n wish her d best thou i must confess I belong 2 the school of thought that feels that can my aunt truly make any man happy?cos she's a tad bit selfish but i guess :love conquers all.and airi ru e ri,a fin deruba oloro ni.

Saturday, October 11, 2008

how violent are u

D oda day i was reading an article abt domestic violence n all.i askd my colleagues at d ofc dir tots n eish.dy al said i can neva beat my wife blah blah.i cldnt resist adding,even if one day yall arguing and all n she slaps u whai!u wont stil hit her back?dy al startd saying ah me i dnt knw wht id do o.whc brings me 2 d violent are u?id rily like 2 knw frm al ur comments wts d most violent thn uv done.pls d truth or nothn cos some of mine leaves me wondering whether if im provoked i wont turn 2 a husband site my 2 experiences exp. 1 my car broke down dis day so frm wok i had 2 take a public bus.i was alredi tnkn im in dip shit cos it had bn so long snc i had 2 listen 2 al d charades dat was associated with dat,conductors,evn passengers i entered wt d intention of not uttering a word.only 4 dis conductor 2 repeated ask me 2 help him pass change 2 dis woman behind me n i didnt budge,d woman startd getting agitated.madam ee de gba change mi lowo conductor now.kilo ti e ma n se awon eeyan to ma n se bi enipe won da ju awon 2 ku lo-madam an an take dis my change from d conductor now,y do pple behave lyk dy are better than odas.ori mi ti kanrin-i was fuckn pissed but i remembered my resolve n kept mute.d nxt thn i felt dis woman push my head n say eyin la n ba wi now auntie-its u we are talking 2 aunty.peeps believe me wen i say twas like anoda peson inside me.mayb my mr hyde side turnd n gave her a hard blow on her nose.i heard it sound n i saw a lil trickle of blood.i have a tn for my head area being pushd write frm sec. sch.needles 2 say dis woman was nw pulling my hair saying we wil fite at d bstop wht wht.n instantly i regretd my action as i tot of my fate with d street woman.she go tear me down 2 bra n pant o cos dem type no get shame. 2 b continued

Saturday, October 4, 2008


I put on my 69 top today and a memory came to mind abeg peeps my laptop don dey kolo o i wan type memory i put u mistakenly , to delete wahala , lapy say today o u must pay for all ur mistakes no second chance, my guess is tht im gona have a lot of errors so pls bear with me....u know why i smiled...i remembered wen i was doing my mba at tht god forsaken sch. ta mo taa gbodo daruko(we know it but must not mention it)., thr was this randy man...i know ure thinking me and randy men....he was our operations and somthn somthn lecturer...the course tough no be small..the time wey baba suppose use teach use d koko ...baba will be gisting us about his hey days...granted he knew his stuff but....we were not getting the operations stuff na the dirty dirty talk we dey get and this randy nman no go hesitate to fail us as at wen in man site me for class one day and he was askin one very randy sounding question and now said abi my sista here will know about that....i now this time the whole class's eye were fixed on me....i said i beg ur pardon sir....this man no relent o...he started smiling...and said 69..dont tell me u dont understand what i'm talking about....tht was wen it clicked to me n...i was putting on a dressy b-ball kinda shirt-top...kinda my fav top...sixty then 9 boldly imprinted on it....since that day baba come dey call me 69...dey ask for me...dey pick on me in a randy manner...needless to say the whole class started calling me 69 plus including my class bobo with one darn sexy pair of eyes....his eyes were sexy men u know in yoruba wen they say...oluju come and do(this means come and do eyes...and dont ask me come and do wht???!!....before i digress...this baba was gisting us abt how he used to chase cheeks(bottom cheeks) or will i say chics wen he was younger and i very much doubted whether he was talking past tense.then he now said one raw thin in clas..."gbomo fun oyan....gbo oyan fun omo...ani komo sha ti moyan.....he was describing vividly one of his lewd the way for my non yoruba speaking peeps tht means take the baby to the breast,take the breast to the baby....d baby should sha have sucked breast...couldnt he have put it in a more classy way.....u can also guess this weresco of a baba thot we were still at undergrad,.....imagine he failed me...his was the only course i failed thruout...he now saw me one day and said se i know i should see him....emi omo ti iya bi to foja aran pon.....eleyi ma ro pe jjc ni mi(me wey my mother born and use strong subcloth to tie ntightly,this one thinks im a jjc)) o as in as i big reach i go come gawk it and do the nasty with him abi....i just boycotted his side and waited till i was graduating.... to settle beta peeps.i have since graduated...oloshi man.c thts why i call the sch a useless my Bsc days tht one no fit me go bole kaja school now.. its not his fault stupid old randy man.
Origin of bole kaja.... ONE DAY WEN WE WENT TO MY ISTAS UNI FOR HER GRADUATION.MY GRANDMA TOO WAS THERE.....the mama baffed up to the teeth like say na in daughter instead of grand-daughter(kinda reminded me of "eya mi tika tika...omo mi lomi se graduation"(one razz old woman tht legend had who went to her only son's graduation ceremony...and since her son na local champion...d only guy in the villa wey go uni mama come utter those words.)tht was graduating...needless to say we met her thr sef....she had a shop at ife so she got to o.a.u before she sighted us dressed in our wassap clothes-jeans and top....she now called us aside ND SAID "CYNIC....for lack of a yoruba word for cynic....egbon yin nse graduation le wa wo aso bii awon bole kaja(ur sis is gradating and u're dressed like come down and fight boys and girls).me and my sibs just burst out laughing..

but me i still love my 69 top o...infact im rocking it right the way im going outside to watch sis called me ...while i was lounging at home..tht dbanj was playing at the club(ikoyi club)! u need to see how i baffed up and landed club sharp sharp.....make somthn else no go dull outta here...sori for all the tian tian.

Thursday, October 2, 2008


Our first kiss-on d express..i called his name..s..he was going at.(++..he turned 2 look at me..i leaned over frm d passenger sit n planted a ful wet kiss on his lips..bout 5secs it d road i yelled laughing at my audacity n his.5 mins larer,stil on d express..felt tongue in my mouth.. A lingering kiss..s d road!damn!i laughed .usually i made d first moves,with s i was me,i was sexy,i was daring,i was dangerous. our first make out session-we were playing cards,gisting,..i upped d stakes,..u lose u strip.i won d 1st..he tuk off his watch..i won d 2nd,off d shirt now i was wet with anticipation.i was good at d game but guess wat,i lost d 3rd n 4th and im now down 2 my bra n panties.he lost 5th n 6th,love n basketbal my favorite film came 2 mind..he stood naked...he pulled me 2 him n u can gues d rest