naughty me.

hi peeps.....im in a baaad......mood ...no thanks to me......i brought all this on myself....they say tht eavezsdroppazs neva hear anythn good about themselves.so so right......except in this case....i wasnt eavesdropping....i was chatsdropping......

we had a mini squabble....didnt talk for 5 days,like the good girl tht i am i decided to break the ice.i called him....and i said simply......and honestly:"i miss u".......he replied ....me too and so we were back to normal mode........

fastforward to me having some cash to cash....tautalogy i know but wu cares.....so i go to the nearest branch to me which was coincidentally his.......

i walk in its all normal we chit-chat....i cash my money and decide to play with him small.......a chat was up and i saw a colleague who happens to be a friend on his chat and i was feeling naughty and i started to read and reply the chats....as him of course......

by the way we were thrashing an issue abt the oda person not caring enuff blah blah blah( before he went off to do something.)....with him saying....im sure if i was 2 disappear......u wouldnt even miss me it'll be like u specking off a fly......and with me saying......nobody can possibly be that busy.......i call u more than u call me....i'm used to having bfs tht are usually all over me.

back to the chat i was chatsdropping so here is wht the conversation went like...

colleague:-pls call me........

me pretending to be him:-why ....wassap....still fooling around

colleague:-i have something to tell you.

me pretending to be him:-ok shoot.

colleague:-im afraid to say it but this time around i mean it.....

me pretending to be him:-shoot

after like 15 mins of convincing her to spill.....

colleague:-i want you.......

imagine my shock....as in babes now say it oh ha nowadays.....then me i must still be living in my grandmother's days of wanting to be wined and dined and persuaded....

colleague:-...........

me pretending to be him:-whts ..........

colleague:-i wana screw u......

don't know why but i was pissed!

me:-shouting over to boo.and thinking thank God we neva went past first base.......i gotta go.

boo:-wetin dey....tot u were gona close with me.......

me:-something came up....

boo:-ok ill see u off

as we walk towards the gate i say.......someone's gona call u....

boo:-who

me:-i casually mention her name

boo:-probably work related....a lilttle too quickly dismissing it with a wave of his hand.

me:-no.........she wants to screw you.........and i quicken my pace to pik up a cab.....and wave bye to him.


now the question is......why was i fucking pissed!afteralll i did something bad by reading/replying his chat and i got wht i deserved and again.......we hadnt started dating.....also.....it was the girl coming on to him.....not the oda way round.......but i cant bring myself to listen to his explanations which are more like admonishments...."why were u reading my chat.....cynic! thts even below you......i replied on the phone of course....im sorry for reading ur chat.....but i dont wana argue............

trust him to name call......."ur an impostor...reading and replying my chats and leading the girl on........

me:-ok im an impostor....sorryy but i sha still dont wana talk about this........... the other time its are u a celebrity.......now its ur an impostor.....

all in all ...this guy is tiring.....it shouldnt be this much work with someone i'm not even dating yet.plssssssssssssss

Miscellanous

somthin funny just happend now in my est.thrs dis thick holdup n we get 2 d spot of d genesis and then i see a big truck surrounded by 10 okadas-by d way at d rate dis holdup in my est is going am gona buy myslf an okada soon cos i cnt aford d supa bikes or whteva dy cal it.as i was saying n then i move closer 2 d truck n c one man barechestd lying infrnt of d truck holding onto d undaside with both hands as if his whole existence depends on it,swearing vehemently n saying i wont get up from here today until he buys back my okada.5mins later dse hefty soldiers come n shoot in d air 2ce.pple dispersd but dis man just hung thr,i peruse his body 2 c if he got wounded ,nothing, zilch.i continue on my way 2 d airport shaking my end..wondas shal neva end in lagos,so im leaving las gidi behind 4 a week of fun hopefuly in dubai with ur help.dis is whr u guys come in.i nid ideas,fun places,clubs,places 2 shop 4 quality stuf,info generaly on dubai n yay im on 4weeks vac.turnd 5 weeks cos of al those juicy hols.nigeria,i hail thee.we sabi layabt lol.bera 4 me.gona mis boo but make in miss me smal 2.wink.

oh no u didnt

2 nites ago,was in dis very very raunchy mood.we had bonded perfectly d previous day doing a marathon of 2 hrs on d phone while i was walking in circles d whole of v.i.I swear I enta some closes i dnt even know existd.imagine al dat exercise n i was smiling n giggling thruout.we talkd bt everytn unda d sun,he was suposd 2 come c me but his naugty bro tuk his car out. fastforward 2 like 9pm dn we started d rauncy sex txts
boo-i knw of phone sex 4 long dist relationships.bt dis 1 we startd...um..cynic can u finish it.
cynic-n i run my wet tongue al ova ur face,ur nose,ur dimple,ur lips,n i stop at ur earlobes,i stick my wet tong in licking in circles.
boo-growls...i bend lower n i tease ur nipls with my fingertips ffing closely with my tongue.i suck gently on ur nipls n move lower....
cynic-oh i so am getting impatient n drag ur fingas lower...
boo-i tease u thru ur panties n c ur getting wet n with a wicked smile i move back n place my tong on ur bellybutton...
cynic-i scream now take me now.i want u inside of me n dn i saw oh shit!no!i grab ur finga n put it 2 my lips n wet it thoroughly then i guide it gently in n out of me..im stupidly wet n i can fil d juices trickly down my thigh...
al this went on o 4 like 2hrs.15mins passed no response n i was damn horny...then a txt came in..excuse me boss u hv atxt msg...
boo-im at ur gate. cynic-its a lie! boo-if u dnt believE me come dwnstairs and find out.kia kia i baff up in my housecoat over pjs n creeped downstairs al d while prayn not 2 wake d house.evryone was asleep n i had 2 open our loud gate. got outside d gate..called boo.
whr are u i say...boo-so u actualy came out!im touchd im in surulere!psheeeeew!

what the....

im seething, im fucking pissed and i wont be the first to call.....finally iv found out why he has so much scion scion.......yeah im talking abt my new boo. he pissing me off real good.....yeah ...he's scorpio thts why.......and my.......do their stings hurt??????i find tht i'm usually attracted to these kinds of pple.

just had a terrible tiff and i aint calling him no matter wht......i tried to be nicer but as the yorubas will say"eefin ni iwa" ur character is like smoke....its escapes no matter how much u try to hide it.......

we wee having our usual lovey dovey one moment and the next we're fighting.......i once told him to read a post abt my personality traits......he was telling me tht why should he...tht am i a celebrity?????tht thing pained me en!....so today o...silly me....feeling all in the lovey dovey mood now copied some parts and startted pasting it for him to read........he was giggling and laffing up until he got to the bad parts......i mean he didnt expect all rosy....did he./...am i perfect....silly him!....he had the nerves to tell me tht this last part wouldnt cut it with him and i instantly me too i gave him back....double barrel.... ""wht do u mean by it wouldnt cut it with u......did I say I want to date u ??? I said I'm planning to change that aspect of my personality not planning to lose the whole essence of me just to get ur approval........he seethed for like 10 mins and now replied......sorry my bad!.....excuse me was i supposed to start rubbing his head at this junction????/and i ended the whole thing with "whteva"....with a big exclamation mark !

lil wonder my blog crush too is a scorpio....annoying sets of pple...U LOVE THEM AND THEN U HATE THEM SOME MORE......

IM SOOOOO EXCITED

U KNOW WHEN THEY SAY WHT WILL BE WILL BE. ....GUYS IM EXCITED///////////////tHE GUY FROM MY "IYA O GBODO GBO "POST IN AUGUST....REMEMBER???...THE ONE WHO DIDNT CONSOLIDATE.....IS CONsolidating right now. pls note ...not real names......i had to edit tht .

ayo :HV U CHKD
Imo : SMILES
Imo : YUP
ayo: U SEEN IT?
Imo : JUST NOW
ayo:SO DO U KNW ME
ayo :AND WHY THE SMILE
Imo:UR CUTE..........
Imo:WAIT
Imo:AYO
Imo:WHERE U AT THAT TRAINING?
ayo :AYO WHT?
Imo :CFT AND AMLOCK?
ayo:WHC TRAINING?
ayo:YES
Imo :LIKE TWO MNTHS BACK?
Imo:AYO................
Imo :I KNOW U
ayo:THT WE FINISHED AT NITE
ayo:HOW?
Imo:I REMEMBA SEEIN GU THERE
ayo :DID U GET ME WATER>>???
Imo :AYO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ayo:YES
Imo:YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ayo :WHT!!!!
Imo :YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ayo :IT IS A LIE
Imo :AYO SO IT'S U
ayo:THIOS IS UNBELIEVA\BLE
Imo:GASKIYA
ayo :SO ITS U
ayo :I BLOGGED ABT U
Imo :TITI IWAS THE ONE U ASKED TO HELP U WITH WATER
Imo :SERIOUS
ayo :I SAID U WERE Cute but u were staring
Imo :SERIOUS
Imo:AT U?
ayo :YEP
Imo :LAFFS
ayo :WEN I WAS GISTING IN FRONT OF THE CLASS WITH MY FRIEND
Imo :SURE IT WASNT THE OTHER WAY ARD?
Imo :HOW DID U SEE ME?
ayo :I WAS FACING THE CLASS COS I WAS FACING MY FRIEND
Imo :I HAD SOMEONE SITTING ON UR LEFT
Imo :I REMEMBA NOW
Imo :AND SHE AND I WERE COMMUNICATING
ayo :YEP
ayo :ITS A SMALL WORLD
Imo :SHE WAS ALWAYS CALLING ME
Imo :ITIS
Imo :A THIS IS A TRIP!
ayo :YEP IT IS
ayo :I BLOGGED ABT U
ayo :THT U DID NOT CONSOLIDATE
ayo :ALL U DID WAS STARE
ayo:AND GET WATER
Imo:SMILES
Imo :SHEY
Imo :MAN ITI SI TIME TO CONSOLIDATE
Imo :SO U WERE STARING TOO U KNOW
Imo :I CAUGHT UR EYE A LOT
ayo :NOPE I WASNT
Imo:YEAH RIGHT
ayo:LIAR
ayo:U WERE STARING
Imo :DITTO TO U
Imo :MY FRIEND EVEB ASKED IF I KNOW U
Imo :COS SHE CAUGHT U
Imo :I SWEAR
ayo:AN AN
ayo:LIAR
Imo:GASKIYA
ayo :U ARE NOT SERIOS
Imo :SHE SAW U
Imo :AND TOLD ME
ayo :THIOS UR MYY FRIEND MY FRIEND
Imo:I AM
ayo :,,,,,,,,,
Imo :WHY DID U ASK ME TO GET WATER?
ayo :THT MUST HAVE BEEN AFTER U STARED
ayo:AND SHE DID NOT SEE U
ayo:AND WEN I CATCH PPLE STARING
ayo :I STARE RIGHT BACK
ayo :COS U WERE THERE
ayo :OR U TOLD HER ABT THT TOO
Imo:I CAUGHT A SMILE WHEN U ASKED
Imo:NO I DIDNT
Imo :I DIDNT ANSWER HER WHNE SHE TOLD ME
ayo :I CAUGHT A LAFF WEN I ASKED
Imo:I TOLD HER TO STOP MAKING UPP STORIES OF STARES
Imo :NOPE
ayo :OK
Imo :I WAS BEING MERELY CHIVALROUS
ayo:OK O
ayo:I GIVE UP
Imo :THOT UWERE CUTE SHA
ayo :U WONT ADMIT
Imo :NEITHER WILL U
Imo :LIAR
ayo :SO NOW
ayo:U KNOW THE VOICE AND FACE
Imo:YES
Imo :VERY WELL
ayo :IM SURE IF U TELL UR FRIEND THIS STORY
ayo :SHE WONT BELIEVE
Imo :YUP
Imo:I AINT TELLING
Imo :ITS MY BIZNIS
Imo :NOT HERS
Imo :SO...
Imo:NOW U KNOW MY FACE TOO
ayo :YEP
ayo :NOW ALL THE PIECES OF THE PUZZLE FALLS IN
Imo:indeed
ayo :IF U WERE NOT SCOPING ME
ayo :U WONT HAVE REMEMBERED THE WATER INCIDENCE SO VIVIDLY
Imo:laffs
ayo:YEAH AND I ADMIT
Imo:i remembad cos it was d only time a stranger spoke to me
ayo:I ASKED FOR THE WATER FROM U IN PARTICULAR
Imo:i was quite low-key there
Imo :y?
ayo :COS U WERE STARING INITIALLY
ayo :AND I WANTED TO KNOW UR KOKO
Imo:and did u?
Imo:miss starer
ayo :nope
ayo :but it revealed u were scoping me
Imo:how did u feel abt not knowing my koko
ayo :sori 10 mins
Imo :ok kid
ayo :now u wished u had consolidated
ayo :im sure u didnt cos of the babe
Imo :no dat wasnt y T
ayo :Y THEN
Imo :i didnt hv a chance
Imo:u were so far behind
ayo :INDEED
ayo:U HAD A CHANCE
ayo:IF I WERE IN UR SHOES
ayo :SINCE U TOT I WAS STARING
Imo:and we didnt hv a chance to sit near each other
ayo:MY EGO WOULD HV TOLD ME TO TRY\
Imo:yes ur right
Imo :u were so cute
Imo :and u had on these sandals i absolutely love
Imo :greco-roman sandals
Imo :rememba?
ayo:AAH
Imo :DO U REMEMBA?
ayo :U EVEN REMEBER THE SANDALS
Imo :YUP
ayo :SO U WERE SCOPING ME
Imo :I ACTUALLY CAME OUT AND LOOKED FOR U TO CONSOLIDATE
Imo:BUT U VANISHED
ayo :INDEED!
SOLIDATING AS WE SPEAK......pls see below.or better still........story continues.........

CALLING A DOG A BAD IN ORDER TO HANG IT.

Kess,Jojo,Bibi and Fifi were friends by virtue of the fact that they attend the same junior high and were about to take their examinations for promotion onto the next half of high school....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively so naturally their talks revolved around boys most of the time.

Adrian,Kasali,Bimbo and Jack were also friends in the same clique, naturally their own conversations only revolved around girls too.....Kess's clique to be precise. Bimbo was known throughout school for his notoriety.He was a truant,he was defiant,but he had style.Kasali was just plain razz but the clique was very protective of himbecause he was very funny and kind natured,.Adrian was Mr cool....decent, gentlemanly and Mr goody too shoes.Jack was mostly freelance....rolls with the clique only some of the time but he was the most handsome

The most likely of the pairings should have been Kess with Adrian,Jojo with Bimbo....because Jojo is very cheeky, naughty,sexy and just a plain tease.Bibi with Jack(if only Jack knew of Bibi's existence and Bibi would admit to her crew that she had a lil crush on Jack)....as I said Jack.....was not usually with the crew.Kasali with no one and Fifi with no one.

That Adrian.....always behaving like a teacher's pet,obeying all school rules and ish....psheeeeew....quipped Jojo,she was wearing her legendary tight mini,rolling her big ass on her stilettos as usual.....Se replied Fifi.That Bimbo sef...na wah for him o...what do u know abt him....i heard the silly boy can just see a girl on the road....and just start dissing her like that....for no reason o....Don't mind that one one...stupid boy.....thts why he's always failing all his exams...he wont go and read his books....interjected..Fifi.Fail ke!he doesn't fail o...he can be an ass but he's very intelligent o....and i even heard if he likes you....he'll be totally decent to you.....well sha na wa for him finished Kess.

As if to prove that he's the true son of his father....Bimbo was sighted in the distance.....smiling and saying excuse me...excuse me baby....what the fuck is wrong with u sef....ur not even fine.....,he moves on to the next chick.......Hey!Hey!.....the girl in question quickens her pace but trust Bimbo to quicken his too and the girl had to turn back....seeing the girl in question had tribal marks and was quite ugly Bimbo....quickly says...en!.oh sorry...not u...not u... and laughs as he continues on his way...seeing the ladies......he calls out hi ladies......jOJO REPLIES....HEY! bIMBO.

Kess was surprised that Jojo was on speaking terms with Bimbo.....The ladies settled in their class and resume gisting since the teacher was not in yet.Secretly Kess started developing a crush on Bimbo. unknown to her Bimbo too had already told his friends that he liked her.

SO one afternoon...when they were teasing each oda bout .....guys! of course as usual....Jojo casually mentioned that I even think Bimbo likes u sef...."God forbid"....Kess snapped her fingers "tufiaka".but as things progressed....Bimbo kept on sending emissaries to her while her clique teased her constantly...he even wrote her a love letter...which she made sure she tore right when his clique was watching....Bimbo became very subdued and did not relent...even publicly telling his guys tht he really like Kess and he won't give up...until she agreess...only for Kess to find out from 3rd party gist that emanated from Adrian...that Bimbo bragged to his crew that he should be given 2 weeks and he would be in Kess's pants.Kess was now in a stae of confusion and pandemonium and rage.She marched up to BIMBO AND GAVE HIM A PIECE OF HER MIND.Bimbo's denial fell onto deaf ears....so biffs for Bimbo was birthed and Bimbo realised he no longer had a chance with Kess.

Kess was walking to class one morning when she saw a picture tht would stay in her mind forever,ADRIAN WAS CARRYING A BABY....AND HE LOOKED so so cute and vulnerable.....the birth of another crush! she imagined him and her carrying their baby together.

Adrian and Kess became close.......only for Kess to find out Bimbo was innocent and the rumour was spread by none other than innocent looking Adrian....apparently Adrian too was suckers for Adrian,All this was disclosed to Jojo by razz Kasali who felt IT WASN'T FAIR and tht they were only trying to capitalise on the fact Bimbo was a "bad' boy wheras the real McCoy was Adrian .

My peeps oya o....d ball is in your court....be gentle in ur comments cos ....,Kess , jojo, bibi, and fifi were 13,14,15,14 respectively, and Kess might just be non other than.......MIZ-CYNIC.

happily eva afta?

I'm too cynical 2 believe they'll live happily ever after.my aunts i.v 4 her wedding just got to me now through an emmissary from my grandpa at the villa.sometimes I'm so proud of my grandpa,his mind is still very sharp and his writing is even better than mine at 87.whao!wish i could scan d letter sef.You are wondering why its my grandpa who hd 2 send these i.vs 2 us se, my mom and aunt had a big fallout when my mom told her 2 get out of our house.u see my mom thinks this aunt of ours who by d way is 43,was spoilt by their parents cos she's d last born and she feels dis contributed in my no means a small way 2 not finding a husband up until now.Im happy 4 her but cant help wondering about certain thns.1.is she marryn dis guy becos she loves him and/or for companionship.does love even mata at dat age anymo?my silly sis even had 2 mention that if there's hope for my aunt at 43,then there's hope for her at 26-silly girl,she claims its been a while since she's been bn toasted.2.does dis guy hv kids already,according 2 d i.v,they will be married in a gospel church so im sure he is not married at the moment.3.he looks younger like late 30s but then again my sis says men look younger than woman at that age.4.if he's divorced.does he have kids?wil he b committed 2 having more kids with my aunt as she who is nearing menopause or oops 4 all I knw she migt have hit menopause..we are not close so i wouldn't knw.ultimately,im happy 4 her n wish her d best thou i must confess I belong 2 the school of thought that feels that can my aunt truly make any man happy?cos she's a tad bit selfish but i guess :love conquers all.and airi ru e ri,a fin deruba oloro ni.

how violent are u

D oda day i was reading an article abt domestic violence n all.i askd my colleagues at d ofc dir tots n eish.dy al said i can neva beat my wife blah blah.i cldnt resist adding,even if one day yall arguing and all n she slaps u whai!u wont stil hit her back?dy al startd saying ah me i dnt knw wht id do o.whc brings me 2 d question.how violent are u?id rily like 2 knw frm al ur comments wts d most violent thn uv done.pls d truth or nothn cos some of mine leaves me wondering whether if im provoked i wont turn 2 a husband beater.il site my 2 experiences exp. 1 my car broke down dis day so frm wok i had 2 take a public bus.i was alredi tnkn im in dip shit cos it had bn so long snc i had 2 listen 2 al d charades dat was associated with dat,conductors,evn passengers ish.so i entered wt d intention of not uttering a word.only 4 dis conductor 2 repeated ask me 2 help him pass change 2 dis woman behind me n i didnt budge,d woman startd getting agitated.madam ee de gba change mi lowo conductor now.kilo ti e ma n se awon eeyan to ma n se bi enipe won da ju awon 2 ku lo-madam an an take dis my change from d conductor now,y do pple behave lyk dy are better than odas.ori mi ti kanrin-i was fuckn pissed but i remembered my resolve n kept mute.d nxt thn i felt dis woman push my head n say eyin la n ba wi now auntie-its u we are talking 2 aunty.peeps believe me wen i say twas like anoda peson inside me.mayb my mr hyde side turnd n gave her a hard blow on her nose.i heard it sound n i saw a lil trickle of blood.i have a tn for my head area being pushd write frm sec. sch.needles 2 say dis woman was nw pulling my hair saying we wil fite at d bstop wht wht.n instantly i regretd my action as i tot of my fate with d street woman.she go tear me down 2 bra n pant o cos dem type no get shame. 2 b continued

69

I put on my 69 top today and a memory came to mind abeg peeps my laptop don dey kolo o i wan type memory i put u mistakenly , to delete wahala , lapy say today o u must pay for all ur mistakes no second chance, my guess is tht im gona have a lot of errors so pls bear with me....u know why i smiled...i remembered wen i was doing my mba at tht god forsaken sch. ta mo taa gbodo daruko(we know it but must not mention it)., thr was this randy man...i know ure thinking me and randy men....he was our operations and somthn somthn lecturer...the course tough no be small..the time wey baba suppose use teach use d koko ...baba will be gisting us about his hey days...granted he knew his stuff but....we were not getting the operations stuff na the dirty dirty talk we dey get and this randy nman no go hesitate to fail us as at wen due....na in man site me for class one day and he was askin one very randy sounding question and now said abi my sista here will know about that....i now boned...at this time the whole class's eye were fixed on me....i said i beg ur pardon sir....this man no relent o...he started smiling...and said 69..dont tell me u dont understand what i'm talking about....tht was wen it clicked to me n...i was putting on a dressy b-ball kinda shirt-top...kinda my fav top...sixty then 9 boldly imprinted on it....since that day baba come dey call me 69...dey ask for me...dey pick on me in a randy manner...needless to say the whole class started calling me 69 plus including my class crush...one bobo with one darn sexy pair of eyes....his eyes were sexy men u know in yoruba wen they say...oluju come and do(this means come and do eyes...and dont ask me come and do wht???!!....before i digress...this baba was gisting us abt how he used to chase cheeks(bottom cheeks) or will i say chics wen he was younger and i very much doubted whether he was talking past tense.then he now said one raw thin in clas..."gbomo fun oyan....gbo oyan fun omo...ani komo sha ti moyan.....he was describing vividly one of his lewd escapades...by the way for my non yoruba speaking peeps tht means take the baby to the breast,take the breast to the baby....d baby should sha have sucked breast...couldnt he have put it in a more classy way.....u can also guess this weresco of a baba thot we were still at undergrad,.....imagine he failed me...his was the only course i failed thruout...he now saw me one day and said se i know i should see him....emi omo ti iya bi to foja aran pon.....eleyi ma ro pe jjc ni mi(me wey my mother born and use strong subcloth to tie ntightly,this one thinks im a jjc)) o as in as i big reach i go come gawk it and do the nasty with him abi....i just boycotted his side and waited till i was graduating.... to settle beta peeps.i have since graduated...oloshi man.c thts why i call the sch a useless sch....in my Bsc days tht one no fit happen....na me go bole kaja school now.. its not his fault stupid old randy man.
Origin of bole kaja.... ONE DAY WEN WE WENT TO MY ISTAS UNI FOR HER GRADUATION.MY GRANDMA TOO WAS THERE.....the mama baffed up to the teeth like say na in daughter instead of grand-daughter(kinda reminded me of "eya mi tika tika...omo mi lomi se graduation"(one razz old woman tht legend had who went to her only son's graduation ceremony...and since her son na local champion...d only guy in the villa wey go uni mama come utter those words.)tht was graduating...needless to say we met her thr sef....she had a shop at ife so she got to o.a.u before us...as she sighted us dressed in our wassap clothes-jeans and top....she now called us aside ND SAID "CYNIC....for lack of a yoruba word for cynic....egbon yin nse graduation le wa wo aso bii awon bole kaja(ur sis is gradating and u're dressed like come down and fight boys and girls).me and my sibs just burst out laughing..

but me i still love my 69 top o...infact im rocking it right now.by the way im going outside to watch dbanj...my sis called me ...while i was lounging at home..tht dbanj was playing at the club(ikoyi club)....na awoof...men! u need to see how i baffed up and landed club sharp sharp.....make somthn else no go dull me.im outta here...sori for all the tian tian.

Whateva

Our first kiss-on d express..i called his name..s..he was going at.(++..he turned 2 look at me..i leaned over frm d passenger sit n planted a ful wet kiss on his lips..bout 5secs it lasted..watch d road i yelled laughing at my audacity n his.5 mins larer,stil on d express..felt tongue in my mouth.. A lingering kiss..s smiles..watch d road!damn!i laughed .usually i made d first moves,with s i was me,i was sexy,i was daring,i was dangerous. our first make out session-we were playing cards,gisting,..i upped d stakes,..u lose u strip.i won d 1st..he tuk off his watch..i won d 2nd,off d shirt went..by now i was wet with anticipation.i was good at d game but guess wat,i lost d 3rd n 4th and im now down 2 my bra n panties.he lost 5th n 6th,love n basketbal my favorite film came 2 mind..he stood naked...he pulled me 2 him n u can gues d rest

BETRAYAL SUCKS 2....INSTANT KARMA

for the purpose of clarity, lets give the second Mikun-call him playa playa anoda name Kayode.

Mikun started to kiss her and then touch her and then caress....building up to...their usual form of lovemaking.....then suddenly, he lets her go and says I can't I'm sorry.....I will only be seeing u in my mind's eye as dirty....dirty!...for u to have done such a thin....I'm sorry....then again ....he grabs her and starts to kiss her roughly , very passionately....which was a bit unusual to Shalewa......after a while, Shalewa...says in a quiet voice......stop!....Stop!...this is not u...this is not my MIKUN, i RILY THINK WE SHOULD END THIS...IF THIS IS THE WAY U'RE GONA BE WITH ME...U'LL ALWAYS REMEmER THE TEXTS...ITS CONTENTS AND IT'LL HAUNT ME FOREVA.

sINCE IT WAS STILL LIKE 5AM, bOTH sHALEWA AND Mikun went to sleep again,Shalewa quicly sent a txt to Mikun telling him yawa don gas and Mikun had effontry to say maybe its even better it turned out like this blah blah.. she switched off.til morning...as she was about to forget about the whole episode and give her final apologies to Mikun....thou her heart was truely now with Mikun, and propos e to continue the relationship with a promise neva to see or speak to Kayode anymore.

She woke up finally to find Mikun on the phone..........I think we should meet to sort this out man to man....she's in a serious relationship and I love her very much.....I dont know why u want to destroy what we have.........Shalewa was like....shocked....damn......this is serious....he was calling Kayode up......he wasnt shouting....tht is not the kind of man he was but he was threatening......asking Kayode to leave his fiancee alone......Shalewa sef didnt know she had become fiancee....with no ring o.to cut the long story short....thou Shalewa's heart laid with Kayode, she stayed away from Kaode for 1 month.even during the month sef...na so so check check of phone...tailing of car.....Mikun wan give himself hypertension...."where are u?.......shalewa"-" I'm just leaving my office"".....ok wait for me....i'M COMING.....ONLY TO APPEAR 2 MINS LATER ALL THE WAY FROM HIS OFFICE WHICH is like an hours drive.just to be sure I rily was in th e office.....sHALEWA SOON GOT TIRED OF THE LACK OF TRUST AND CLOSE MARKING SO SHE HAD TO BREAK UP WITH mIKUN(THTS ANODA LONG STORY)....she broke up with Mikun to go to Kayode....but alas!Kayode turned out to be the guy she blogged about....using her favorite songs.....dido,shade,emimem,asa......( u shd read that post)....


so we can all see tht karma is a bitch.....Shalewa fucked Mikun up and Kayode in turn fucked her up.....instant karma.what goes around comes around.....evn thou Kayode did not cheat...he broke her heart still.so all ye biffers...u see i got wht was coming to me.....cos there was one very passionate commentator I had to delete....saying im a whore and what not and i tot ki la gbe, ki lo ju!..sori non yoruba speaking peeps...this one is not as hard to translate as it is to make meaningful so we'll leave it at tht.

BETRAYAL SUCKS!

pa pa pa pa pa.....(hard slaps)Shalewa woke up grudgingly and slept back again,she is a deep sleeper
pa pa pa pa pa pa...(harder slaps)Shalewa woke up with a start only to find a mobile phone which she could recognise as hers being thrust into her face.....

"Who is Mikun"......

fuck...fuck ....fuck! busted ...thot Shalewa...a mixture of emotion washed over Shalewa as she realised that all sleep had drained from her body and all she felt now were panic, disorganisation, empathy,pity,desperation..panic becos she felt....she was busted!disorganisation... cos of the suddenness of it all plus she was wondering how she was going to answer the barage of questions sure to follow.empathy....cos she realised how poor Mikun must be feeling right now....with that she looked at him properly....his eyes were red...apparently Mikun had not got any sleep at all that nite and he had been crying....rily!.pity....for herself cos she knew the relationship could neva be same as it was again......she realised sadly the rule had ben broken"don't be caught , they used to say to each other...now she was caught, be caught and its over she used to emphasize....now it would be over!damn!.Desperation because she felt she had to deny it with all her being cos she could not stand/bear the hurt on his face.panic....because in the mobile phone she that was being thrusted at her lay all the evidences any juror needed to prosecuted and pronounce guilty as charged.she had forgotten to delete the messages.

The previous night, Mikun had come to pick Shalewa from work where she was facing end of year blues and had closed so late at about 12am....no kidding....Shalewa did not have any idea that that she was going to end up in Mikun's room that weekend...or is it Friday.The only option was to go over to his place cos the drive to hers woulda been too dangerous for her.Shalewa was tired from the all work done that day so she jsut got in had a bath and Mikun cooked dinner for her,sahe fell asleep while eating.

Shalewa collected the phone being thrust at her and began to read...of course she knew the contents , hadnt she typed those same words herself."Sexy, can't wait to be with you, I remember the feel of your tongue on me,ur carresses.....I hope I'll come this time....im so so horny"

"I said who is Mikun!".....
He's just a friend......
just a friend and u're sending him this kind of texts messsages.....I read his texts to u first and I thot mayb...I so wanted to believe its not true...i thought maybe...he was just being funny and the texts were unsolicited....
"Please , I just wana know how long u been seing this guy"Mikun said quietly.....

'Okay, Shalewa said finally....been seeing him for quite a while but i swear to u I didnt sleep with him and I'm not planning to"
"You expect me to believe that...with all this texts....blah blah.....u can imagine how the rest of that conversation went...

Shalewa in frustration said I'm rily sorry Mikun...I guess I've broken the rule....u are free to relieve yourself of this relationship.Whateva your decision....I'll take it.I'm sorry.

'This isnt't about breaking up, I love u , I still want u.....just promise it won't happen again. He was crying now just as she was.

I am Shalewa....Shalewa is me.and this story will not be continued


To be continued.........

a lil bit of me

I recently came across an article about the zodiac signs and it was either that it was a lil different from the ones i had read previously or I'm older now and i can be more objective about how i view myself so i decided to do a lil bit of analysis on how right on spot the article was...

Aries

element-fire
planet -mars
symbol-the ram
stone-ruby
strengths:-dynamic, engaging and candid

let me start the analysis at this junction before i go on cos there's more and i dont wana loose track.

ok element-fire.....i choose to analyse this in a quirky way......i am not a soft person....and im quite a confident and courageous person and when im angry....i hardly AM...(INFACT A LOT OF TIMES I HAVE TO FORM ANGRY WHEN I WANT to chastise people).....but wen i do....i damn all consequences and my eyes brims wih fury and brimstones men!

planet- mars....another quirky analysis of this.....sometimes even i myself think im from planet mars.....my thinking sometimes could be very different from the next person's...or in that men are from mars and women are from venus kinda way i would qualify for a man cos a lot of folks say i act and think like a man and im tough like a man so mayb i am from mars.....but all na demo o.

symbol-aries.....read my first or is it second post to undastand that one......i won't say more, u know how rams are stubborn....i could be very headstrong and set in my ways especially wen i've made my mind up about something.

stone-ruby

yeah, if it were possible to have the ruby as an engagement ring...thats wht i would like...a ruby ring.

strengths-dynamic, engaging and candid

I am very dynamic so that makes me think that sometimes i actually dont know what i want....this minute im loving something....im content....the next im not and .....very very unhappy until i find another challenge....which brings me to how much longer i'll find blogging interesting.....

engaging-i think im fasciinating....which is why i find a lot of people being easily attracted to me....dont get me wrong im not talking physical attributes but mayb its the way i talk, laugh,think, make jokes....etc...i dunno

candid-tht one is so so true.....i lack tact......infact im only recently beginning to learn it as it is very vital for the kind of job i do.....u see i'm in client services. i spit it as it is,like my life dpended on being that candid and honest about it like im trying to prove a point or something...like im saying that is the way it is, i dare u to bite me.

back to the article
faults-headstrong,impulsive, erratic

my favorite phrase wen im about to get angry,....is "don't try me i can be very unreasonable wen i'm angry"....and im also very impulsive.....that can be very helpful at times...as in i take on the spot decision and i take risks very easily....i'll tell u a story...in my workplace , they placed some cars on bid list and people were given like a month to go see these cars before they placed their bids. what did ur dearest cynic do???i went ahead and bidded for a car for a riduculous amount i had fixed in my head and i didnt even go to see the car.....despite the fact that the cars were on the island and i live on the island and these days im relatively jobless on weekends......at the end of the day.....i got an ok car even better than some pple tht went for inspection....i dont know how tht happened....dont ask me.

I can be very headstrong up to the point that i play the devil's advocate more often than not even wen i myself dont agree with the motion im arguing for ...i do it just for the kicks.
back to the article...
arians love freedom and will accept any challenge,they insist on going their own way and are not easily swayed by reason.their energy can make them seem aggressive, they make good leaders inspiring and caring for their followers but by the same token they do not make good herd members and can be uncooperative in groups.

again i pause here and analyse...

i love my freedom to the extent that i sometimes wonder how im gona cope in marriage...i still feel that idf i get a job in the bahamas today all i'll go whether i have a family or not i'll pack up my bags and leave....thts why my bro always says.. ..any guy tht eventually marries me he''ll say he has finally tamed the shrey....i call it the bohemian in me....i like to do what i want and im always ready for the consequences of my action....my first trip to dubai.....i went alone and i was super-excited even though i didn't know anybody there and i was not going mainly for business but for pleasure, i also like the freedom to take my own decisons, right from when i hit 16,i knew what i wanted in life...i wasn't even an adult then.i have a lot of energy and sometimes wen i see someone act lack-lustre all the time i feel like... wtf.....u know this phrase ...it was in one stupid yoruba movie i watched....there was this chic who had a very niceee..... hubby and a very bad friend wu was always giving her bad advice,....she advised her one day to disobey her hubby....since he was bobo nice and go for a nite party with her(she wasnt married o)...that particular time the hubby...got rily mad and he slapped her ...the guy immediately started apologising..feeling sober ,so she called this her silly friend and told her the story...d friend was like ....o fo e leti ke(he slapped u!)...she now advised her thus.."o mo nkan to ma se...to ba dele ni irole ko ti fi robb para , now comes the phrase i want to put the emphasis on" ko wa dera lebi apere tomati"(look inactive and dejected and very weak like a basket of rotting tomatoes...the kind they sell in mile 12)...as in i hate people who dera le like apere tomati when they are not sick.cos i'm usually smart walking and energetic and when im sick too....i actually dera le bii apere tomati...ask my sis.i also hate being bored and i get bored very easily.and when im making a point i strongly believe i could come off a lil aggressive as in my veins stand up.I like my surbodinates(very few that i have) to be very happy and free with me but that does not mean i condone laziness, when im asked to lead i give it my all but i dont volunter for leadership positions and i'm actually very responsible when in a leadership role, but if i'm to follow .....its not like i dont like to follow but im a rebel by nature so i'll almost always ask why? before i do something d leader asks me to do...and can be uncooperative if i feel a leader is taking advantage of me or the group.

back to the article.....

they are open and honest,sometimes to the point of bluntness.as a partner, an arian is a captivating creature,they tend to get bored easily and will run at the first sign of trouble,often purely to cause drama.they are ruled by their hearts and will follow its mood without much reflection....

i am open and honest so as such i believe i don't have any secrets sef...i tell it as it is ...im so free especially when i know u ...i tell u whats going on in my mind verbatim....thts why its frustrating for me when i feel i can't read someone cos with me u dont need to wish for a magic mirror into my heart and soul cos my words and everythn im feeling is always plain to see...what u see is what u get....i wear my heart on my sleeve so to speak(not in a stupid way o),,,,if i'm happy, its on my face....if i'm sad....its there toooo. if im lost.....i look rily lost,im open and u can almost read me i mean literally like a book,i can't hide my feelings.i think i have a captivating nature as the article implies cos seriosly...im not blowing my trumpets...i have actually broken a lot of hearts in my time.......cos i get tired of relationships very easily......until recently iv dated people for as short as 5 weeks..

when i fight with my bobos then,....i'll be so angry i'll say oya i want to break up with u....cos most of the time i know they'll beg ....u knw a lil drama....i actually even admitted to my last boyfriend when he said "cynic ma pa mi.....ma fun mi ni hypertension..."i said "ololufe ,me too i dont know why i'm like this....i think i just love trouble."

im not matured at handling my emotions...what i feel in my heart that moment determines my mood and when i love which isnt often....i love deeply and when i .....hate....which isnt often either i do it deeply.so i think im ruled by my heart......


so there u have a lil bit of me......or is it.......all of moi.

beautiful girl

against my better judgement i'll do the meme thing but all the pple I'd like to tag are alredi tagged , so no point.

1. Put Your Zune/Ipod/iTunes/music player on Shuffle

2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.

3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER WHAT!!!After you’ve answered all of the questions, tag 5 other people and then let them know they’ve been tagged to do the meme .

so here goes....

1.if someone says "is this okay?" you say ?
forever...chris brown....yeah i could....u know especially if he's saying i love u...is this okay?.....do u love me?...then i could say forever...would be kinda romantic dont u think?or from ibiluv's perspective.....he's "doing" u right and he asks ...is this ok?and u reply...forever.

2.what would best describe your personality?
mo gbona feli feli.....dbanj...honestly u guys...i shuffled...it wasn't staged...is it my fault i have a very diverse taste in music?.and yeah!mo gbona feli feli....if u know what i mean...

3.what do u like in a guy/girl?
party rider.......9ice......naah!!! he got to have depth too men!......

4.how do u feel today?
malaria.......malaria ke! bii tii bawo....pls o i no wan sick o.

5.what is ur motto?
street credibilty.....9ice....yes o sometimes I can be gangster like that.......

6.WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
why do u cry?.....matt pakora......cry ke?... i'm gangster men! i hardly cry......

7.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?
malaria.......haba!madam B and hubby are not that bad now>>>>chei!

8.WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
4 bar statement...chipmunk.....pls o i'm a teetotaller.......dont drink at all

9. WHAT IS 2+2?
party people.......nelly & fergie.....how can 2+2 be party people......dis thn don dey kolo o....

10.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
4 bar statement...chipmunk....na wetin i do this chipmunk sef?but she dey nack gordon sparks sometimes sha......

11.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
i dont wana lose ur love tonite........yaya(doing an awilo move.....can't evn dance makosa nut men! is this cool or what?.....

12.WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
sweet kinda something.......yeah....rily sweet kinda something.......

13.WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
bugi bugi.......me i no understand that one o......bugi bugi ko! bugi bugi ni!....

14. WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
buzyy body.....p-square.......yes o i dey do busyy body well well about the person i like o ,i wana know all there is to know about them.....

15.WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
hero...enrique eglesias......yes o. to my parents i'm a hero o...

16.WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
one 2 step.....ciara........ o de make sense o.(and it makes sense o...)........

17.WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
here with me....dido....now thats a song i love......so so much so it makesd sense they play it morova......its very dirgish...as in it sounds like adirge....very slow and sober.starts like this......I didnt here u leave.....,wonder how am I still here.......and i dont wna move a thing.....it will change my memories......cos i am what i am......blah blah blah,.....

18.WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
don't matter......Akon........exactly!

19.WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
aye o...infinity......yes o eyin aye...why do u want to know that one o......

20.WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
I'll make love to you....boyz to men.......na beans!

21.WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

beautiful girls.....sean kingston......I'LLremove the s.....and make it beautiful Girl...


so ciao

I'm tagging.....

geisha song,invisible,chari...buttercups,ibiluv,afrobabe,..carlang,enigma......at least out of these 8 5 pple wont have been tagged alredi.....

MALE BOSSES VS FEMALE COUNTERPARTS

what shall i blog about today.............???
sorry folks, this fasting thngy is not making me update as often as i should so as opposed to my 2 blogs per week subconsious agenda,I'll even be forced to do just one and also i rily have to do " decent" blogs so my topic for today will be female bosses versus their male counterparts.

The other day my colleague lets call him"eera ngbe sugar"(ants carrying sugar)...believe it or not he(the colleague in question) actually gave himself that name and I could not help picturing what he meant literally...u see this my so called colleague is very tiny...a male(very annoying too)....and actually looks like those ants with big heads(soldier ants ...i think they are called) and again i pictured a cube of sugar....u know how it seems like only one ant is carrying a cube of sugar....he was toasting this babe in my office....and i reiterate...no sentence could have depicted the situation better.not only is the babe a grade his senior in the office......., she's older than him by at least 2yrs and this babe is at least twice his size...picture a lady who weighs at least 120kg.The day the statement came out of his lips.....this was how it ensued

eera ngbe sugar:-cynic...u know i loook at this babe and each time i faaallll in love with her
cynic:-which babe is that?
eera ngbe sugar:-points at chic in question
cynic:-eehn!..that babe!...don't u even see the size of her....this one will kill u o.....u are not even on her level....ur salary cannot even buy her underwear o....
eera ngbe sugar:-who told u that....dont u know that I am eera ngbe sugar.....

and i tot the guy was annoying.......talk about irritating!

Back on track as I was saying about my experienceswith male and female bosses,

I'm gona have to side with the guys on this one,I took a sample survey of my bosses.....the good the bad and the ugly....i tell u cos I've had them all.The bosses totalled 10...at various intervals though...

boss A(male)-
Lucky me then cos I was just learning the ropes, this guy was like a father..he would hardly chastise me...always encouraging me with .....u're just starting, don't be frustrated ,give it time....covering up for me with his own bosses and all....generally giving me no stress at all...even the times wen i was put in charge of some petty purse and money used to disappear due to no fault of mine....i would cry and he would just raise a voucher to cover for the missing money....i neva abused it...unlike some pple,i realised then that....peeps were just too fast and since i was new then....i was their"mugu"....u know now u have to be somebody's mugu .anyways all in all he was the "perfect boss to me"I used to wonder how come promotions neva came his way,turns out that his ogas the "iyas"(female bosses up there)....felt he was too soft as a boss!

boss B-(male)
I call this one Mr happy go lucky...as long as things were going smoothly...he neva brought up funny issues that women will bring in to complicate things..we used to kid round a lot....his favorite phrase was "last e"-"ur last"...which he didn't actually mean. ... he was so jolly and full of wisecracks that i actually used to look forward to going to the office.

Boss C:-
Call this one baba ondo:-He was rotund with a round big stomach and kinda old...he even used to bleach and toast young girls who used to come and visit him in the office,...was even kind of scared of his own bosses but that dont mean he wouldnt cova up ur ass as his surbodinates.I remember one day he called me and said......"cynic..."bawo ni?(how is it) in that his ondo accent..."igba wo lama wa je raisi"(wen will we come and eat ur rice o)...ojo n lo....awon bobo yen nko(time is going...what about those ur guys).....'try ko hook ikan ninu won o"(TRY AND HOOK ONE OF (may Allah forgive me) at this junction....cos i neva could have tot I'll say something raw talking about my bosses....well u neva know...... he now said"o mope ...awa okunrin...aa kin ready o....a maa n redi ni".....for the non yoruba speaking people....u dont wana know what tht means....i'll tell u...it means (we men ...we are neva ready,we redi_in yoruba redi...sounds like ready and redi....means tht they only lay women) oooh ooh its not giving me the rite effect...i mean redi is an amalgamation of "re" and "idi"-re -is a bricklayers term for when he applies cement on blocks to make them adhere....and idi_means .....like a private part....so i leave u to fill in the blank spaces

anoda time the man got into trouble with awon "iya" and he got demoted...cos he went and lost some money due to some 419 transactions he unknowingly did lets call them"cab" transactions....so a new guy on the block now innocently called baba ondo

new guy:-baba ondo...pls im new here and i asked around and some pple told me u used to do a lot of "cab" transactions...pls can u put me thru.

baba ondo:-pls pls pls pls o....:"cab" transactions ko "cab" transactions ni,"cab" transactions (in that his ondo accent) lo gbe de bi ti mo wa yi o....jo jo jo won ni ba tie je(na cab transactions wey reduce me to this level u see me....pls ur own no go spoil...leave me o).....i was just lmao where i was sitting.baba oni baba


to be continued............

Bro!

Like the lyrics of my favorite songs by sade,dido,asa,eminem....etc

sade:-"I really trusted u and every word u said"

dido:-I've still got sand in my shoes and i can't shake the thought of u

asa-"bimba n ke"

eminem-"will the real slim shady pls stand up"

Like Sade:-Cos i rily let go wen it came to u and I trusted u like I didnt even trust myself, like I felt we were rily on the same page.

Like dido:-cos u said these words to me("I've still got sand in my shoes and I can't shake the thot of u.") afta one long silent treatment we had and u did the contacting first, it made me feel like I was rily indispensable....how very corky of me...even conceited, but I guess when u're in love and ur rily sure this person is worth it u tend to feel this way.

Like asa:- cos I rily cried one day when I was supposed to be on a romantic getaway with my new guy....when I thot I was ready to give another man a chance...u still were hovering by weren;t you...u had not done enough damage right???!Even then I cried cos I couldnt shake the thot of u, I haven't admitted this crying to anyone not even C (my best friend)

Like:-Emimem>>>> cos Ur officially now in my tots as only the "real slim shady"....all emphasis on the shady....and oops the slim.That rily slim body I so loved, slim and sexy and not too muscular...strong arms, ure shady ....cos u kept leading me on even wen u had decided for all my weaknesses which u were supposed to haveloved along with my so very many.......strengths....we couldnt be together........u said I'm stubborn,strong headed....and not submissive enough..... I wonder if u really loved me,weren't u supposed to love me despite my faults.?.....we had a year and half in which u did not mind these faults until wen I was well and truly smitten...u yanked the stool from under me.....we had dreams...., aspirations....together....I remember and yet......u still had to guts to tell me I love u but u're too stubborn for me literally...., MORE OF SHADY COS I THINK ALL ALONG U PLAYED ME....I'm not rily sure but...all evidence points to that.

You literally left me emotionally inept for the next unfortunate guy that came along....it was doomed from the start.......u keep featuring and I hope u're proud now that I lost him too....but bro u didnt get the last laugh.....cos of all the reasons I'll state below:

1.I don't regret knowing u cos I who thot myself incapable of loving any man, of sacrificing , of compromising.....now know that I'm capable of this and more when the right guy comes along....God! I remember I passed thru a lot of phases...afta u....I became more cynical....I was even about to marry someone I didnt love cos I tot I could neva let myself love anyone else the way I loved....loook ...me ...cynic!i'm even admitting that I loved someone....oh my God! thank u bro....u rily made me know myself more and I thank u for that

2.In typical fashion,I'll say I'm more open to love now...and I'm not compromising...I'm not going to short-change myself....cos now more than ever I want all(everything love entails)...or nothing.Love is not over-rated.The greatest thing is to love and be loved in return

3.I also now realise my answer to this trickster:-Lord Bernard Shaw said this long time ago-:"Which is the greatest tragedy?...To get ones heart desire.....or to lose it
Some months back...I would have answered.....To get it cos ...... the cynic that I am will argue that If i had not met u at all...u being my heart desire....I wouldn't have known that pain....that followed afta u left, ... but now I know better....My answer is the greatest tragedy is to lose ones heart desire....at least u would have known love and ...........paradoxically ...bliss......no matter how shortlived.and thus to u losing it will be the greatest tragedy.

the strip club gist

this is not for the faint hearted, or for the saintly , i intend to use very crude and vulgar language..

so the first thing i saw as i entered was a girl in a white bra see through and a g-strings....oh sorry thongs, she wasnt very sexy looking but men! was she srutting her stuff,i saw someone i knew almost immediately but u know it was one of this like customers or something, so i preteneded like i didnt know him thou he still managed to say to me"u're looking good"' my first reaction was ....an an haba in my turtle neck?????then i tot mayb he just wanted to embarass me for coming there at all, but me i no send i just walked on in,....me that i was still stiffing and all for x i quickly regulated ....as in for protection now ....so i allowed him hold me on the waist and i was like making a mental note to regulate afta tht day......(but that all backfired in my face)....thou tht na gist for anoda day,

on the wall there were 4 screens.imagine , one was playing porn.....as in hard core porn,anoda was showing like all these rap artists and their pornographic endeavours,on the third screen as if to mix / dilute the effect of the sex reeking in the whole room....guess what.....lord of the rings.part 3..then the fourth screen ,some other real life random pornographic thingy...

there was a stage, with the pole and on it i saw one very ugly looking chic, small breasts and very narrow hips, with small ass too rubbing herself, she was still fully clothed/....in her undies i men the typical pink lacy bra....that she did not buy the way do any justice and one small scrap of material that was supposed to be panties...she took off her top and then she was ass or was it rum shaking to this disco kinda song and....i was like ok this is still like cool.....wen then she took of panties too and started masturbating herself on stage and then she slid onto the pole and slid down and i swear all these hollywood strippers sef will give her award for her act, these girls can not be more than 22yrs old each and i wondered for a moment if they lived in lagos, were in school or somethn,all the while i tot i was going to be uncomfortable there but no......i saw anoda babe wu also came with her guy ...even dressed not too differently from the real strippers....then i sight this rily pretty girl and just like i was trying to console myself....(thou she was also wearing only her bra and pant) that she couldnt be one of them,i heard x say:hello,..........meet my girlfriend(abi dis one dey high on strippers...wu be ur girlfriend)...but of course I didnt say anything.....
stripper:"hello, how are u?hope u're enjoying this place...she said to me in a very quiet shy voice with a smile on her face....cynic:"yes i am
x:"she also says u're very pretty....once again i'm thinking abi ori bobo yii ti blow...as in make the girl no dey go think that i'm a lesbian and was ready for action...so stripper just smiled and went off....but rily o....i didnt say she was pretty then but men! this girl was clean and fine and i suddenly felt pity for her.....as in what kinda circumstances could have lead her to stripping and all......well as they say e no dey show for face and also"aja to b a ma sonu, koni gbo fere olode(the watchdog that is destined to get lost will not hear the whistle of its boss;;-the hunter....as i was saying...this girl was dark and pretty....nice breasts and lovely shape,looking innocent, a bit plump.....as in if i were a guy the way i'd like my woman, all shapely and well spoken....., i was still consoling myself...that mayb these ones don't go on stage to dance till i saw her in the next 15 mins mounting the stage........men, she stared straight into my eye and motioned for me ....to come join her.....my reaction was abeg o,....but i was gracious and i smiled at her.....,then i remember the conversation between her and xbefore she went on stage

x:"later u'll come and give me a lapdance
stripper:-what about ur girlfriend
x:-she wouldnt mind...and truely i wouldnt mind cos i dont see him as a potential mate.....but funny enough he was impressing me by behaving himself , not trying to let the mood get to him by groping me or anythn,.....na me sef they cling ...in the manner of ...dont try me o(cos one bobo cheapstake...i dont know whether upon all free and nude asses wey dey thr.....na my own e wan try use idea dey grope) ...i came here with my bobo o, i no be one of them o.

looking around me i noticed one white guy pricing lap dance....en en.. lapdance was 1000 box while just to feel and toch and finger and lick was like 1500, all this was going on in full view of evryone o, the girls were abound selling their wares to the highest bidder.

on stage this our chic(our friEnd) was thrilling, guys were sticking money in her panties, on her boobs evrywhr....

all of a sudden this razz luking stripper walks by and grabs my boobs---and i'm like wtf....x intervened and said i should let her go and reprimanded her saying...."u see me here u no touch me , na girl wey sit jeje u go dey touch"

there was also this very randy and lewd luking door....with VIP boldly written on it....with two doors that could swing open at the same time and ....ur guess is as good as mine as to what was going on inside that door,....blow jobs.....actual fucking, blowjobs...things i do not wna evn think about, wht have u....x was even teasing me that we shd pay and go find out what was going on there....na beans!liver fail me for that one o.

it was bad.,at some point i saw this girl , she was walking around nact as in in her b-day suit all over....obviosly trying to hook one whitey there....she even went as far as to make lewd dances in front of him, sticking her tongue and breasts out to entice him,....i swear it was a vivid picture of how sodom must have looked then in the days of sodom and gomorrah...walhi if i was God also i for don strike all of them...ah hem....me inclusive dead. instantly.......the irony of it was that...just outside and beside that strip club was this pentecostal church banner...inviting people for a crusade.

finally,the rudest shock of all.....there was one act that was going on on stage consisting of 2 girls, they were supposed to be lesbians, one had this penis looking thingy strapped to her panties and the other proceeded to suck and lick and all and then she was doing the normal motion of inserting the thing that by the way looked so very much like the real thin into the other guys cunt, all the while licking and masturbating....right infront of us, this girls were writhing and moaning by the way and even sweating,they were performing oral sex on each oda and it was.....rily bad and disgusting,at some point i got tired of watching the girls on stage i kukuma started waching lord of the rings..i was only grateful tht our "good girl"" was not a part of it.twas very terrible......i actually saw one of the girls cum......these girls are o more than 25 o......as in what is naija turning to.

i wont lie but at some point i was getting rily wet but omo i no show sign o, the bobo beside me sef...i kept trying to see if he was hard.....nothn......mayb twas nothing for him or like my crazy cousin will say ...to him this was refreshment.


so wen it wa like 3 ....after making sure tht x's money did not jona....i said pls let's get out of here.....this was ajeranju(chop and bulge eye) already for my poor eyes......

well sha....we left o......and then in the car we started teasing each oda....were u moved and what not..........ish.

iya o gbodo gbo-mom mustnt hear

im in desperado mode,hence im blogging wt my phone.u must b wondering y i titled dis post iya o gbodo gbo-mom mustnt hear. preamble-friday was outta d office on ds training thngy.there were several peeps frm my org. so twas a good opportunity 2 mingle so i saw dis yummy bobo-d way i like my blokes-not 2 slim,tall,big strong arms.knda needed 2 catch up n sofo:gossip,with one of me girlfrnds so i was seated facing me n ds guy kept giving me d eye,staring deeply as if daring me 2 look away wt sm knda weird smile on his face. break time came,i swear he got up ,was coming towards me wen one soapy girlfriend also cm n interceptd his move 2 say aah hi cynic..long time-in my mind im tnkn..show spoiler give me d hell some privacy.um.. lunch time also came,i turned back from my food 2 get water,lo n behold mr sleek was also trying 2 get water.he grabbed my glass,gave me one heart meljing smile n said-let me.he finishd filling his glass n passed it 2 me n went on 2 fil my own glass 4 hmslf.al dis mating dance continued o truout d training wt him luking back at me 4 no apparent reason several times. i was darn sure afta d class he was gona make a move at least but silly guy could not even consolidate.abi was he so corky dat he felt i shda been d one 2 strike convesation.or mayb it was wishful tnkn on my part..eyin gvys ova 2 u 4 analysis. bk 2 my initial title blog,got a cal frm dis fervent toaster.as in die hard knda of guy.he said hw wd i lyk 2 make gud our discussion abt my curiosity abt strip clubs-dis was hw he framed d txt-strip club,r u woman enuff? omo i wana dey woman enuf die.sharp sharp i snt reply-wt tym? so x came 2 pik me n madam b was standing at d door,arms akimbo-whr r u going cynic-em em my frnd is celebratn her bday party..its a nite party...if only she knew my true destination.luckily she cdnt have guessed ur girl was decked up 2 d neck with a turtle neck..make dem no go mistake me 4 strip ge.n on our way i was jst tnkn..wt if i c like someone from work or my fathers friend 4 dat matd wetin i go say i com do 4 strip club but trust me dat curiosity must kill me 1st o. so we got inside with x on my side..wt was d first thn i saw...2 be contd.wok cals-i have 2 service dis customers-no pun intended

my quiver full of arrows

random gists:

a)What is it about my work that brings all tht much insults my way.........
ok,
so like today,this owala guy walks into my office towards my desk,by the way this guy started pissing me off lately by the fact that he has started feeling familiar,he goes on to converse in yoruba as he walks in calling me omoge(in a corporate environment o)and then he starts to sing this song in the razzest way possible, bobbing his ugly head up and down..."i wana fuck u, fuck u , u alreadi know, i wana.....I think my stare and expression forced the song to a dreadful halt on his lips and with me saying in a very cold voice....."yes how can I help u?,....i think the fact that he came to my office yesterday and I was all smiley, putting on my bestest customer service act, pretending like I'm all nice and all gave him the efontry to come to my front all like tht and all, mayb if he were even some hot cute dude with the voice to die for I wont have even minded him saying"cynic, I say I wana fuck u, fuck, fuck fuck , u alredi know....I might have even joined him.....bloody irritant.


b)I WAS IN UNI WHEN THIS ONE HAPPENED

I was in class reading or should i SAYING PRETENDING TO ,wen i suddenly looked up and at a 90 degrees angle to my line of view,.....lo and behold I see this huge cock staring at me,....and i dont mean the masculine gender of the hen o.... , seriously ,my first reaction was to rub my face to make sure I wasn't seeing a mirage or something, next reaction was....I looked up and looked down again only to realise tht this guy was actully sitting beside me just not close to me but the same bench all the same. and he had brought his thn out and he was masturbating.and he was staring at me point blank with an expression which said.....wana join?this penis was very dark and large and quite intimidating that I shouted , wtf is this and packed my books all in the same instant and looked at the next person on the other side of the class nearest to me(cos the class was quite scanty.....she was female tooo so she followed my line of view and said """JESUS,"...sHE ALSO PACKED HER BOOKS,all I could think of was tht at least I have a companion to walk to the hostel area with.....aah it was too much for me I beg. OLOSHI, OLOFO....bliv it or not I ran to the hostel o

C)I'l title this one olowo idan(magic fingers).
My roommates in uni then.....quite the born again xtian type but quite pretty too,...u know all this mid length reaching skirts and scarf wearing kinda sistas,and anoda at least wassap girl, but u knw me I blend with all kinds of people o,we all went to class at nite to to read. I was reading ...at least actually reading this time around, we read o for like 3 hours, I was feeling sleepy but I was also trying my best not to sleep, cos I didnt want to luk like a laybt to the sista we went to read together with only for me to luk whr she was reading and see tht this sista was fast asleep...and I know she sleeps rily bad, as in difficult to wake kinda sleep.BUt to my utter dismay and tht of my other roommates,we noticed this guy( the sagging of jeans, earphones kinda guy...at first he was staring at her a if in awe of her beauty....like how come she looks so sweet in sleep...wen we noticed his hands reach under her skirt,the class was packed full and it was quiet so we couldnt shout or anythn...morova remember , we were reading.This guy was fumbling under her skirt and sista was turning in her sleep from left to right, right to left, we were sure he was well into her clit by now, The thn was paining us but we couldnt take it anymore, the guy's head was on the desk just as hers too was by now,THat was how, me....I couldnt take it anymore I packed my books and walked up to the desk she was being mauled at and shouted(walahi , I was past caring tht the class was full and dead quiet,....just then i notice the guy starting to pretend tht he was sleeping and was prbly sleepwalking, I shouteD sista P,gave the sista ONE very nice abara and said 'Oya lets go to the room"and practically had to pull her out of thr,

On our way to the hostel, I said to wasap girl, was I dreaming or did I just see wht I tot I saw, wassap girkl burst into laughter and said......eeh...olowo idan....and he had the guts to be pretending to be sleeping, whc kind sleep gan sef did sista thnk she was sleeping, we asked her if she noticed anythn , she shook her head, me and wassap girl decided to keep it a secret o, but each time we remeber the scenario , we sniggle and say......olowo idan, so genarlly anythn suspicious we tag it somthn idan.

Finally,

This one is actually quite silly of me but nonetheless,here goes...

customer wants to walk in first, i LOOK AT HI FROM MY SEAT, the door was alredi sying..."pls exit from the cabin as the door is only meant for one person,I snicker.....
He crosses that hurdle and makes his way towards me and I notice....He has a round funny looking face, kinda jovial and smiley,...it was all I could do to stop myself frm laughing,I SAID ONCE AGAIN IN MY PRACTISED CUSTOMER SERVICE VOICE"hOW CAN i HELP U" HE SAID BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH ...........can u help check if its redi......
I look up once again trying to stifle my laughter and I say"Whats the name sir?......
He responds.......Mr. AROWOJOBE......i COULDNT HELP IT,.... i BURST INTO LAUGHTER......I APOLOGISED IMMEDIATELY..... THOU.

FOR WANT OF A POST

W u remebers tht nursery rhyme...for want of a nail....blah blah blah,leson learnt in tht rhyme evn as little as I was, neva leave til mrw wht u can do today

So let me be very unoriginal and lazy and solidarise with a new blogger I kinda like,cos we're both new, I'll adpt his A,B,C style,even in his exact words...but my own answers, most definitely

A.Attached or Single:-single and loving it,relationships are a painnnnnnnnnnnnnn

B.BEST friends:-C(check one of my posts, to find out wu C is )

C.Cake or Pie:-Lately PIES-only the sweet sensation meat pies thou,if not I prefer cakes jare

D.Day of Choice:-Thursday_ the day me I start rejoicing tht its alredi a day to "no work"

E.Essential item-Seriosly-for me cash(tin ba lo kolu omo eleyin nko_'If I go
brush/jam the ge selling eggs nko?"

F.favorite color:-isnt it obvios....green

G.Greatest accomplishment:-One useless MBA wey I get from one (sch ta mo taa gbodo daruko)-"a sch we all know but must not mention"

H.Hometown:yay! I'm from Osun and I'm proud....but oops I shdnt be salying tht(from now i'll do my thngy of putting Letter l in some words i SAY.

I-Indulgences:_Porn......dont ask me....

J.January or July:-July, o jare , make the year just dey fly....and then sometimes I think omo,u're getting nearee to the grave o.

K.Kids:-Yeah,(since i promised myself Im gona b as razz as I can b with this blog.let me remember one Salawa song-Iya ti bi na ke mi naa bii temi(my mom has given birth to me, let me too do my own)

L.Life is incomplete without.......rily as in some pple will actually mention some dudes name abi....here no comment,cos I have a "fry"(anoda silly slang my bro uses)and. here....LIFE.

M.......i'M TIRED JARE LET ME JUMP TO Q.

Q.quotes:-a very layabt quote,dont lagh o..."Be young, be free, be foolish...but be HAPPY!."

R.Reason to smile:-Cos I'm retrospecting

S.Season:-Dry season anyday, I hate rainy season, Tht was how one day The thn no give notice and I was on okada with my newly made braids, it just began pouring, and caning(no pun intended) me mercilessly.I had to shout on okada man's head to pull over.

T.Tag 3 friends
I dont even know how to tag but if i did it'll be ibiluv,invisible and probably boorish male(and the silly boy wont evn update)

U.UNKNOWN facts about me....is tht ur way of tricking me into saying my name....my enemies wont suceed in stripping me of my anonynity....tht Im rily quite sentimental.

V.Very favorite store:- Um I THINK IT'LL HAVE TO BE NEXT...AT LEAST IF THEIR THINGS WERE CHEAPER

W.Worst habit:-Biting my nails....I'm a woman o.

X-ray or ultraosund....Ultrasound na...shhhhsh....wht u dont knw wont hurt u.

Y.Your favorite food-chinese food, I swear e be like say one of my parents must have.... a chinese person cos the way I can be desperate abt chinese food en..I sabi cook am sef

Z.Z:-zODIAC....THE RAM


P.S-PLS NOTE, i'M IMPATIENT SO THR'L BE LOTTA TYPOS, JUST GET THE KOKO OF THE GIST SHA.like one raw guy I KNW WILL SAY ""KOKO ORI E NI KE GBAMU"

my adonis

TODAY I DECIDED TO PIMP MY BLOGSPOT,....THE RESULTS ...NOT BAD LOOOKIN...

I wana do a series of blogs about guys i dated over the period of like ten yeARS, FROM WEN I STARTED DATING TIL NOW THT IM TECHNIALLY SINGLE.

LETS CALL THE FIRST N

OVERVIEW

uuum let me see,as innocent as I was then I mean I was 17 years old then, i remember,N had a great body, ur regular TDH(tall, dark and handsome) kinda guy,cute dimple,heart melting smile, and he was caring too.I rememebr wht was supposed to be our first kiss, i was still sixteen then, we werent dating but he attempted to kiss me by lowering his head very close to mine but trust omo tiya bi tofoja aran pon, i weaved and he ended up kissing the air,sori brazu(dis is a razz slang i picked up somwhr), it was late at nite so he didnt see my accompanying reaction,
He used to come see me in my hostel then, we'll talk late into the nite but omo boy no go evn get kiss goodbye...luking back now , i was harsh gan o, d bobo go spend like 3hrs talking and all spit go dry , the least I could do was to replenish some of it with mine ...if u knw wht i mean(wink .wink)
I remember one day he came baffed up to the teeth and probably popsie cramped his style by asking him to run some errands so he came late, trust siste I pounced on him ,

N;HI(looking apologetic for his late arrival)

mizcynic: hi(frowning my face bi eni tan so lu(like someone they farted on)

N;-(imagine him in all his 18 yr old sweetness)-mizcynic now what did I do, im sori now

mizcynic:u're always sorry, If u know u wont be coming to visit me often N , U BETTER SAY SO O AND LET ME roll with my campus boys wu hv ben dying to go out wth me o, instead of keeping me roasting afta I hv told my friends u'll be coming, now they'll be pitying me andI'll be luking like one sori case.

N: SORRY CASE BAWO(how),cynic, ure too paranoid I always tell u, oya cheer up now, popsie held me back now saying I had to run some errands he said(stroking my cheeks in tht playful way i loved.uuum those were the sweet days.....these days some morafucker will prbly come late and prbly expect u to apologise for his lateness..uuum the good old days,wen boys were men not now wen grown men act like boys.

most memorable moment with N

I remember this day, I was sick to my guts as in (mo ti ya gbogbo inu mi tan)i had shyted all my insides, I thnk we had bad water in uni or somthn, so I was vomitting, shyting simultaneosuly, it was bad.... ,I looked awful. low and behold came N my knight in shining armour

N;-cynic whts wrong with u, u look bad

cynic:Iv bn in bed al day , looks like i have running tummy or smthn
N:hv u taken anythn , u look rily bad, are u sure we shdnt go see the doctor or somthn.

cynic:-no I'll be fine(I hated going to the hospitals, the sick smell and all, with the air very septic and sterile smelling corridors where instantly u start to pray to baba God for forgiveness so u dont cross to the great beyond just by virtue of the fact tht ure thr.

N:u dont look fine , i insist oya let's go home at least, I'll take u home,I remember I was sitting on this double decker bed, up, he carried me like a baby in his arms like i WEIGHED NO MORE THA A BAG OF BONES WHC i WAS GRADUALLING BECOME JUDGing by the rate i was puking all my insides.

cynic-I'm fi...I rushed to the ladies for anoda bout,female hostel and all U WONT BLIV, N FOLLOWED ME DESPITE THE FACT THT HE WASN'T EVN IN MY UNI, WE GOT BACK ,HE CARRIED ME DOWN THE STAIRCASE OF MY HOSTEL., SOMEHOW UNDER 5 MINS HE HAD A TAXI waiting, he was bloody broke ass student but I can neva forget the bravity , the way he kept assuring me tht all will be well, by now I was resting my head on his lap, puking my insides out all over the taxi,N...and any oda thn in sight, I felt like I was gona die,I remember for some reason he stopped at this bungalow like 15mins drive, his friend , whom I also knew came out and he quickly exchanged pleasantries and we got back into the taxi and heade home, the fare then will hv cost a good 2k cos the distance was like frm vi to badagry,and tht was a lot of moni for a broke ass student(it was later , one day wen we were joking and gisting and yabbies, tht tht friend teased him ,dat omo u must have loved this silly girl gan ni o, u actually came to my house to borrow taxi moni) like him but WHERE i was, all I was doing was praying, dear lord if u get me alive and well out of htis I swear I'll drink only ragolis water henceforth,...omo i still drink pure water sef.

We got home , mom comes out panicked , mom's expression was all tooo easy to read as she took in me, my state, the guy.....im sure the tots in her head was ""oloriburuku boy, has impregnated my daughter o,(cos we landed my house at like half past 8),and has taken her for abortion whc didnt go well cos i KEPT CLUTCHING MY TUMMY,but tht was the day I knew my mom was the best actress cos all this she told me larer o, but she was acting kinda calm and collected.

mama cynic-wht happened, oya lets go with this sme taxi to hospital cos all the cars are out o, N stood firmly, in my sickness I was proud of him,

mama cynic-oya thank u my son(afta listening to me explain), u also luk like hell, go home we'll take her to the hospital.

N-I want to go to the hospital with o, i CANT LEAVE HER LIKE THIS MA, iF MY MOTHER COULD GIVE AWAY HER DAUGHTER RIGHT IN THT MOMENT, she would hv given him my hand in marriage , at tht age o, asking for nathn, she was scared as he was,well we got to the hospital.,and shall I say.....the rest including N sadly...they say os history.