Monday, December 21, 2009

back from vacation,wana blog

yea, like the title says, i went on vac o as in for 4 full weeks and like the scruge i am , i wanted to wait till i resume before i post.plus awon nice anon, mgbeks, ibiluv and co have said we shd post or else>>>>>>>.

gist plenty o

first and foremost my aunt, as in my mom's blood sister,same father same mother died. the one i gisted u about that got married last at age 43. unfortunately she did not leave any child.There is some drama surrounding her death.story is that she had been complaining that since they got married,they've hard spent 2 weeks in all together since hubby is based in akure and my aunt port harcourt.She said they shd start to live together as man and wife, so the man resigned cos she had the better paying job.Then they had an accident,the driver was driving, not a scratch on him,the hubby was behind with her, not a scratch on him,the first story we heard was that the car hit the kerb and nothing happened to the car but my aunt sustained injuries in her head and died, then again the story changed to it was raining heavily, visibility was poor and the car tumbled and then landed more on the side she was....blah blah and the injury she suffered was serious.

naturally there were side talks here and there about if thr was any foul play on the hubbby's part, some salient issues also came up like

the driver had been reprimanded before on his driver by my uncle the immediate elder brother of the deceased and had advised my aunt to sack the driver

that the mother never totally consented to the wedding cos she had always had her close to him at her bosom in akure to the extent tht he got a better job once in abuja but did not take it cos of his mother

also when the issue of where they were to bury came up, the hubby and the family said she cldnt be buried at akure(hubby's hometown) because as they claimed "there is no decent burial ground in the whole of akure (the tradition is for ur wife to be buried in ur home town).

sidetalks from family members of the guy saying ''afterall she did not bear any child for us"

he was so happy about the ministry providing funds because he kept on saying he's broke o and shey we know his family too is broke. friends and family of the wife did practically everythn.when the money landed his account,2 weeks after the burial cos u know ministry and the tendency to delay stuff he apportioned like a third for himself even though some bulk money that the family and friends used for the burial had not been refunded.

I am not one to judge as the whole thing must be traumatic for him but all i know is something doesnt gel somewhr.even if its as mundane or inconsequential , the least of what is wrong may be that he did not love my aunt as christ loved the church.and the worst being that he is a gold-digger, i know he will be rewarded accordingly cos God doesnt take either with levity.I couldnt help biffing the guy when the pastor kept hampering in the church during the burial service tht in line with God's directive, his wife is gone, is gone...if he wants to marry today sef, he is free, death has done them part...i have a feeling he went to tell the pastor tht the family is witch-hunting him.

on a lighter note , there was a funny part to all this, the pastor during the service said "madam lagbaja(my aunt).....was a firtuous woman(virtuous woman),despite thew fact that she married at 43.....,she was a firgin, (virgin)....her husband can confirm this....my sister and I could not help ourselves , we burst out laffing...quietly ofcourse.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

SOPE TIE (THANK GOD FOR YOUR OWN)

They say omo toba nipe "oko" baba oun lo tobi ju, koi de oko baba elomi-the child that says his father's farm is the biggest ,definitely he has not reached another person's father's farm before.lemme digress that yoruba proverb can easily be translated also to mean the child that says his father's penis is the biggest definitely has not seen others father's penis.

In a cynical way im going to relate all this to the title of the post.If u think your problems are large,definitely you have not seen the extent of other's woes.

I was complaining recently that i so hate when i'm with my bobo and want to enter a place and they wana know if he's up to 21 until a silly girl i used to work with called me recently to gossip about a colleague of ours who is getting married to an ugly old man...her comment was "so ti ba to yen ni"-this means ...he don hook the girl like tht?the girl called to tell me cos this particular colleague of ours is nasty with a capital N.

I was complaining that we were not paid our performance portion of our salary which translates literally to 20% being slashed from our salary until i heard of a colleague in First Bank who had been unceremoniously asked to go.

When I was younger , I used to complain that we used to get only one set of provisions until i heard of a girl who never had anyone visit her in school,not to talk of getting any provisions sent to her.

Like they say Igi gogoro ma gun mi loju.....aa dodge e ni,seriously its okere la ti n wo, but I just discovered that my ex whom I used to biff for buying a new car instead of committing to our wedding, actually collected loan to buy the car,a loan which he can't pay back and the bank is now chasing him up and down for their money,thank God i "dodged" him, marrying him would have been the igi gogoro literally entering my eye with his debts amongst many other things.

I have a man who smokes and drinks moderately, still enuff of me to nag and rant about on most days, but to the best of my knowledge does not womanise and holds me in high esteem,I have a friend whose husband drinks, smokes and womanises even in their home.she complains bitterly daily to me but never to him for fear of probably receiving a slap.

i COULD GO ON AND ON BUT THE KOKO is sha to thank God for every situation you find yourself in and remember whateva your situation..."airi iru e ri, a fin deruba oloro ni-aah!me i never see this one before o!,na to scare the person wey get talk...or somn like tht jare. my yoruba peeps will feel me better

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

50TH POST.

omo e don tey wey i visit this blog.....oops , na ma blog sha.na today i even clock 50 posts sef.make una shak ur preference for my head....if na henessy, chardonnay,heineken,sprite,coke,water e.t.c.

as u don notice i wan blog in pidgin, someone tell me say my pidgin is wacked, na in sabi , i go finish dis post

some foolish secondary school memories just come to mind.we get dis over-sabi boarding house mistress in name na bukola or somthn like dat sha.d woman dey play for manchester so awon chics just kukuma nick-name am "bukoyan", my yoruba folks can relate to this,the name attests to the fact say she be to manchester united what ronaldo was to them before hin go real madrid-a great asset *chuckling to myself".dis woman dey terrorise awon girls no be small, na she go see student wey wear mini skirt,hot pant, wey hin bra dey see-thru, d gist be say she no get toaster and she dey biff awon chics wey young-virile blooded male teachers dey follow then.na so she dey waka go class one day she accost one SS2 babe.d following dialogue na in ensued.

bukoyan :-chidinma,come here!

chidinma:-walks sexily,provocatively and rudely to meet miss bukoyan

bukoyan come turn am to in native language."ninu omu ti e ati omu temi, ewo lo tobi ju.for the sake of my non-yoruba speaking peeps for blogsville , i will translate(between your boobs and my boobs, which one is bigger),

chidinma replies politely rudely."ti yin ni ma"(its urs ma).

bukoyan:-"ose wa jepe emi ma n pack temi dada,' shom shom',iwo de ma se tie degbere"( so why is it that me i pack my own very smartly and u pack yours so loosely)

d girl shock open mouth.

bukoyan:-common go to ur dorm and wear a tighter fitting bra,my friend,stupid girl!

but my people,we sef bad that time,and urs truly was so troublesome but i no dey do that kin thin sha o.the thin wey i dey do na thns like......ok,we get one handsome english teacher like that wey dey keep very long last nail and in like to dey point to anythn at random with it.anyhow sha chicks get plenty crush on am so when time reach to submit english assignment,some go dey tuck love note for inside,on one occasion na picture fall out, i come trace the particular notebook wey picture fall commot,e come be one 'butter cannot melt in my mouth opeke chic'.na so i rearrange the books, me wey i no dey gree distribute books as class captain, i go just dump make all man hussle in own, na so i stand for front of class dey distribute books, wen e come reach the babe turn na in i announce say ladies and gentlemen, our dearest madam opeke chic actually put her picture for the benefit of our english teacher,na so i shake the picture commot for ground. needless to say the babe rep change instanta.

i remember so clearly one wicked senior boarding house mistress wey we get wey we fear so much say upon say we nickname am lets say mgbeks cos her name na mrs mbgeke for example, when u skip prep to chill inside the room and u hear say she don land by the signature scream "mgbeks are coming!"...she be one person o,. but na the fear we get we dey use 'are' for am o as in for her,its rude to use 'is' o na mgbeks are coming o..... who born u make u no respect mgbeks na she write the foreign book wey we dey use then for English in school o.

i get one post i wan post about my current lovey wey dey do me yori yori but i dey fear gan ni cos it seems wheneva i talk about any sweerie of mine on here , e go just jinx comot, na the following day evrythn go scatter, abi na winch.lol.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

THE IRONY OF LOVE

As I was in my office thinking "when will i stop literally getting slapped with work cos honestly it seems like each time something to be done is being shoved in my face,to me it feels likei'm being slapped with the sheet of paper or whteva the request comes on.So, a txt comes in......usual"excuse me boss u have a txt message(and i've refused to change tht txt message alert)....its from my ex-ex-ex.........read as my boyfriend before the last before the last.

It read "i was listening to a radio programme yesterniteon ex-relationshipsand i just cant help reliving memories of our relationship.I still love you.

upon calling i found out he was being sincere and he couldnt for some reason shake the loe we shared.which brings me to the fact of my own so called "all time love of my life"...that took me so long to shake off, it even cost me 2 relationships ...yes! i haver finally admitted....he was the cause of the demise of my last 2 relationships.

The guy in this case is I call him my second love of my life and if i were more of a realist than the idealist tht i am would immediately overtake the position of the all time love of my life but as much as I hate to admit, he hasnt.But if understanding me were a measure or the S.I unit of measuring love then he wins hands down.

It also brought on a cocky feeling...LEMME EXPLAIN.....FOR YEARS I PINED FOR MY LOST LOVE as in it took me nothing less than 3yrs to get over tht guy and I am like...wtf!did he use jazz for me or wht????!!!...so it felt good also to know tht someone is still pining for me since 2002....felt so good.!

We hung out yesterday and he tried to kiss me...but I had to turn my cheek.I guess I dont feel tht way no more about him.but we're still very good/close friends.He speaks to all the boyfriends I have had since then and asks them to take good care of me.

Lest i forget i need opinions on some stuff

1.If u are in a relationship.......can u go out for a movie with your guy-friend...if yes...under wht clauses/circumstances
2.If u are in a relationship and when the guy has which is less often btw he spends wella on you, will u do same when u have which is more often by the way.

im out!.gotta go earn my living for the day.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

random

cant believe i'm blogging again so soon,

here is one of the txts married man sent

note,thr hv been some editing

thnx for ur help in sorting out the trfs,i appreciate it.and i enjoyed chatting 2day,even though my conversation was interspersed with I luv us between SO &miz-cynic,and in the very presence of A(HE REFERRED TO HIMSELF INTHIRD PERSON).ahah will sort out ur coach dis week.get SO to buy ur tennis outfit, he oggles at it more than me and knws the contours of ur size 12 bodand i will look for a racquet

i havent replied yet but my reply will go somn like......

MrA,u are quite welcome,I also enjoyed chatting today,I wonder why it should bother u that I said a couple of I love us.......afterall you also called your wife in my very presence.lol.

You promised to buy the outfit,why are u changing your mind......do i sense a lil jealousy
should it matter who oggles more at it.

this is how we tease each oda so........its harmless

in oda news I am actually enjoying my job at the moment, I moved branches and this Branch is a lot more serene and orderly/organised,It also might be the very nice small chops that is sold very near here by one of our customers.......this doesnt mean he gives us freebies...stingykoko man...we get to buy it and ur dearest miz-cynic has turned it to breakfast, lunch and dinner.

I feel like rocking this friday...though I'm on a curfew....i went out 2 fridays ago and got back 3....momsie wailed...i was just thinking to myself...see yawa!!i suppose don born myself dey chastise my 15 yr old daughter for coming back so late too.

I love blogsville,I think I have read some of the funniest, most interesting,wacko,smartest, most insightful, touching,romantic thing on here.human beings are so talented....that might also be our undoing.

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

yay i clocked one year on blogsville.

I promised myself i must to blog today mehn!!!!!!!!!How i no go blog?I clocked one year on blogsville today, shout out to geisha, ibiluv,boorish male , geisha:-she introduced me to blogging,ibiluv:-she encouraged me to blog,boorish male:-he inspired me to blog.

Blogging is becoming a chore for me and i hate chores....tht does not mean i wont be blogging anymore or tht i'll take down the blog, i actually go back to read old posts for fun

M y blogging today is gonna be mega random

A cute customer came to my workplace yesterday and we had interesting conversation and we have an easy camaredie but guess wht....he's probably in his late forties,married with kids ,speaks impeccable english,distinguished, successful.....I now finally realise tht i just met the met tht can actually make me consider "aristocrazy"...the danger here would be tht i could actually fall in love with him and wait for this he speaks "fone" and is a practising muslim...cute!this means never say never...i used to say I could never consider dating a married man,not to talk of one who kids , not to talk of one who is in his late forties.

He has sent me two lovely text messages, and he's also funny!.i feel he's flirting but i might be wrong.so I'm also playing it along those lines cos frankly, I dont want anythnn more.but for now I'm enjoying all the attn

Also there is gist about the guy whom I blogged about a coupla times,the one where we sent sexy txt msgs and he said he was at the gate only to risk all and find out he was in his bed in surulere,the one who we were giving each oda the eye and we eventually met months larer.d one tht someone said on a chat ho ha tht they wanted to fuck!Now he's wishing he and I had dated and he that wasnt so proud to beg.unfortunately i still like him o but no thanks.alakoba!, he was even reminiscing about old times.

Small world......my friends's hot boyfriend ...(more gist about him larer) dosent have taste,we saw him with one asa(my yoruba peeps should know wht this means)....just thought to myself....he don downgrade cos my own friend is a hot babe o.is it only me who feels when a guy/ girlwho had a hot chic/girl and suddenly breaks up and goes for a ugly chic/guy, he/she has just stepped down.lol, sounds shallow but sue me!.lol.








Friday, June 26, 2009

jokes & wise cracks

MANAGEMENT COURSE
Lesson 1:
A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her
shower, when the doorbell rings.
The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs.
When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor
Before she says a word, Bob says, 'I'll give you $800 to drop that towel.'
After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in
front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves.
The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs.
When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, 'Who was that?'
'It was Bob the next door neighbor she replies.
'Great,' the husband says, 'did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?'
Moral of the story:
If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your
shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable
exposure.


Lesson 2:
A pastor offered the church organ player a lift.
She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.
The pastor nearly had an accident.
After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.
The organist said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up
her leg again.
The organist once again said, 'Remember Psalm 129?'
The pastor apologized 'Sorry, but the flesh is weak.'
Arriving at the destination, the organist sighed heavily
and went on her way.
On his arrival at the church, the pastor rushed to look up Psalm 129. It
said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'
Moral of the story:
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great
opportunity.


Lesson 3:
A sales rep, an administration clerk, a nd the manager are walking to lunch
when they find an antique oil lamp.
They rub it and a Genie comes out.
The Genie says, 'I'll give each of you just one wish.'
'Me first! Me first!' says the admin clerk. 'I want to be in the Bahamas ,
driving a speedboat, without a care in the world.'
Puff! She's gone.
'Me next! Me next!' says the sales rep. 'I want to be in Hawaii , relaxing
on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas
and the love of my life.'
Puff! He's gone.
'OK, you're up,' the Genie says to the manager.
The manager says, 'I want those two back in the office after
lunch.'
Moral of the story:
Always let your boss have the first say.


Lesson 4
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.
A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, 'Can I also sit like you and do
nothing?'
The eagle answered: 'Sure, why not.'
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a
sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Moral of the story:
To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.


Lesson 5
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
'I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree' sighed the turkey,
'but I haven't got the energy.'
'Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?' replied the bull.
They're packed with nutrients.'
The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, and found it actually gave him enough
strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree.
The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.
Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of
the tree.
He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot him out of the tree.
Moral of the story:
Bull Shit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there..



Lesson 6
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze
and fell to the ground into a large field.
While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him.
As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize
how warm he was.
The dung was actually thawing him out!
He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.
A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate.
Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung,
and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Morals of the story:
(1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
(2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your
friend.
(3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep
your mouth shut!
You can all now go for your tea break, for just 5min.


now i paticularly loved the first,and fifth one and now for the wisecracks
can remeber just two
i think it was either bernard shaw or winston churchill

he was retuning home one night froim the pub whr he'd gone to have a coupla drinks and happened to be drunk, as he was now going home, one of these dowager ladies (read as iya isonu)now saw him......
and contorted her nose and said "ummmmph!ur drunk!....snortishly
to which he responded
"yes madam, i know,but tomorrow i'll be sober,but u maam are very ugly.

another one was an observation by either of these gentlemen
one pretty young blond model and a rich distinguised old "handsome" lady were to pass a tight walkwayand the young lady noticed the middle-aged woman trying to hustle a lil and pass first so she just shifted aside a lil as if dont touch me...oya pass... and said "age before beauty"...
the old woman just walked forward unhurriedly past her and said....."and pearls before swine.

at least i've posted!.lol.

Saturday, June 20, 2009

its not sexy!....

its not sexy!......
why do guys feel like they have to keep you guessing or wht game is it they are playing anyways
i dont get it, mgbeks wrote something about this not too long ago....is it tht guys are spoilt ni o
pls guys help me out here.....im trying to understand.......from your perspective

@is it tht girls are too plenty nowadays u'd feel stupid if u ended up not picking what u supposedly think is the best so u try not to commit to anyone until ur sure whc one u want?????
b)is it tht u are still not used to rejection tht u want to bide your time and be sure the girl is not gona say no when u eventually get the liver to ask.
C)you seem non-committal cos commitment scares u
D)u wish u never have to get married.duh!we do too!
e)u want to postpone getting married for as long as you can since u know its inevitable.
F)plain old greed or u cant seem to make up your mind about the girl u want
i'mma try to paint some scenarios cos frankly the scenarios themselves are so shady or inexplicable tht i'm wondering how i'll succeed painting them.

forgive my language pls cos i'm, in a ranting mode

scenario 1:-asshole has a girlfriend,does not deny the fact, girl has given him like 5 yrs of her life so....(ko mo bo se ma gbegba....he doesnt know how to opt out).....has another chick he blows hot and cold with.......tells her ish like why did he not meet her before the woman he's dating now and all....whts girl in question supposed to feel........girl in question now has some guy giving her attention and all and asshole feels he has the right to be jealous.been acting funny and cold and downright immature...excuse me....being in a relationship himself has taken away the right for him to feel jealous about another man giving girl in question attn.get over urself and stop giving attitude.......afterall he categorically informed girl in question he's in a relationship.

scenario 2:-mofo gets all up close and personal and does mushy stuvs,refers to them hypothetically hving kids together, at the verge of dating once but backed out under the pretense of girl not being submissive cos he was a domineering male.resurrects back and wriggls/warms his way back into girls life...but biding time ,not.........giving anythn away as to whether he wants to be friends or lovers.....misyans one day..and girl gives him the silent treatment for a few days now he's gone awol. for his sake he had better not re-appear cos kasala go burst! ........claps hands together....wht happened to the days when guys offend you i.e when they hv not become full bfs and they are the ones trying to get back into 3 3 ur good graces.....

scenARIO 3:dbanj!!!!!!!!!kini koko????!!!!!!!!!!!whts this guy's 411 as in wht does he want...like standard how many days, months/years does it take to decide whether u like a girl enuff to want to ask her out.......for goodness sakes its not marriage its just going out....if it does not work out u can back out..........u act all mushy mushy, closey gooey and wht hv u....make funny remarks and give babe ideas...all the while girl does not know ur "p".....infact ore oriburuku wo lobinrin ati okunrin bara won se kiri- (whc kain stupid friendship boy and girl dey do up and down)

infact i have concluded tht my fuse is getting shorter for guys who fall into any of these 3 categories as in wtf!wht the heck are u feeling like.....or u pass derogatory remarks and expect babe to keep mute...cos of wht,ur the man or wht or notori afe je malu a wa ma pe malu ni broda(because we wan chop cow, we go come dey call vow bros)...nonsense!

Monday, June 8, 2009

ODE TO MY DAD

HERE GOES.......

ode to my popsie or is it poksie...like one razz girl i met during my service year.she also used to call pepsi, peksi(all with a yoruba accent).

although we are not as close as father and daughter should be, i love u all the same

I remember weekends, we will assemble and u will play sunday ade on the turntable.....i remeber it so vividly..."what do u desire wht do u have under o....sweet banana....sweet sweeet swweet banana....and u will pick the best dancer and give her a up of "samco icecream.fun!

or when u gather the neighbourhood kids and play thriller for all of us and we'd all be excited.

I remember when we were in primary school, we were a lot closer.... 4 slices of bread,and chasing us out of the house with koboko anytime past 7.30am so we won't be late for school.
I remember the stories, jokes,teasingriddles,...half a circle, a circle, half a circle, a circle, and a triangle with 2 legs equals COCOA. or was it the one i found so hilarious......there was this ruler, we all should know him, he was a dictator,he was from niger state, he became a ruler in 1985.....how tall is the ruler.....naturally we were racking our brains thinking how tall babangida would be, until he finally tells us...a ruler is 12 inches long.
oR IS IT ONE DAY WHEN U ASKED ME TO SWEEP YOUR ROOM AND IT WAS SO HOT, I WAS JUST GRUMBLING AND MUTTERING UNDER MY BREATHE...OOOH God! this stupid broom now, too short, all my back is paining me....too strong it cannot even sweep very well....pschew...! UNIL I HEARD YOUR LOUD VOICE...."CYNIC....ALWAYS GRUMBLING...only a lazy workman quarrels with his tools.

or is it when we write our boardingg house list and u take out ur glasses and pen and slash everythn into half, we soon learnt to outsmart u though, the next time we doubled everythn on our list so when u halfed it, wen got everythn we wanted.lol.

or is it your powerful amala and jollofrice even sweeter than momsie's own sef when mummy travelled in 1987 to kaduna for a course for 3weeks and left 3 of us to your care without any househelp.

or the fun we used to have when we go to yetkem and buy those humongous steaming hot meatpie tht we would eat for the whole day and still not be able to finish

or one text message u left on my phone on my 25th birthday....SayingHAPPY BIRTHDAY MY DARLING....youth is the best part of any human's life,u're at the peak of your youth, invest IT in your future"

i love you dada even though we might "differ" a lot of times

Monday, May 25, 2009

CORNY/IRRITATING TOASTING LINES/SITUATIONS

boy:-your father is a thief!

girl:-en! wetin u say, abemi?

boy:-cos he stole all the stars in the sky and put them in your eyes


girl:-i said leave me alone, na by force, i said i'm not dating you

boy:-u see, i cant leave u alone......"your name has been written on the chapel of the cathedral of my heart"


boy:-excuse me,excuse me,excuse....

girl:-yes....

boy:-its like , when i saw u, my heart started doing me somehow and i knew i just had to talk to you

girl:-en en

boy:-will u be my girlfriend?

girl:-just like that, is it a beans?

boy:-ok....you can go!

wtf!




Thursday, May 14, 2009

COULD IT BE I'M IN A RELATIONSHIP AND I JUST DON'T KNOW IT

I'm feeling really stupid as I bring this issue to you my people of blogsville,

met on a holiday trip to ghana in march 2008- check

same guy i had my last "rumu rumu" with-check

calls me at least once a day to say nothing in particular but how was ur day, tell me how ur day went and he really listens-check

he sees me off halfway frm his house even though i have my car-check

i miss him sometimes so i also call him at least once a day-check

he gets super jealous when i tell him i went to watch a movie with a colleague-check...(his response...."see, u are reporting urself")

he calls me up when he hears a song he knows i like on radio-check

I called him once when a radio station had rock on their playlist...he loves rock.-check

if i go to his house and i'm hungry,he says the kitchen is all urs baby-check

i once asked him wht his his "specs"...his response was "you"-check


so pls am I in denial tht we have a relationship?pls tell me i'm not.

Monday, April 27, 2009

out of body experience

out of body experience.....i swear my peeps this na testimony.

after the headmistress office incidence,i had a drought as in nothing nothing,zilch, nada!full on conji!( i think i'm a very sexual being) ....i decided i was due for some rumurumu...burrax can explain wht this means.According to one theory by a blogger, i cant remember who now.....she was talking abt which is better for ur rep,1.doing it with a newbie who u'd neva done it with before or reducing the numbers by keeping it in the circles of pple whom uve had before and u've now broken up with orm something,Obviously i chose the latter . I rationalised tht since we had "history"....we almost dated but we decided we no go gel cos he is one with a very strong xter just like i am but we neva lacked tht chemistry.

At least we had sampled before, a session stolen even thou officially we hadnt started going out .Saying this guy is a minister for women's affairs is putting it mildly, I almost broke my no penetration rule cos ole boy was just too damn good , wetin!, wht this guy could do with his hands en!i no fit prophecy its a case of experience na best teacher,if only to have this on the regular, abeg i fit date the guy,seriously!
Kissing...on a scale of 1-5 ....i give him 4.9
nuzzling and knowing how to use his tongue.....4.9
infact let me not go on for fear tht he might be reading this and his head would be swelling.

I didnt even know when I "offed" my clothes and bra and "payint" by myself o....to borrow jenifa's words, we were evrywhr, his study, sitting room, floor, bed,name it...i didnt believe i had tht side to me...

I was just answering un asked questions with my yea yea, yea!oh yes!
Prophesying all sorts.....Jesus!...and I'm not even a xtian o
swearing! at no one in particlar damn! shit!, fuck!

If I WAS SHOWN A VIDEO OF MYSELFI WOULDA BEEN ASHAMED.

Even though his member wasnt inside me at any point i felt thoroughly fucked.my skin pores even breathed easier....I felt my skin soften.....did I mention he also gives a bad ass massage.

Didnt know having light feathery kisses trailed down ur back could be so.......damn sexy, my toes were crawling.....I hope I would have this kind of sex with my hubby o cos now tht i've known thisa I wont want to settle for less.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

S.W.T

He was my s.w.t –(sexy without trying)

I was his d.d.g – (drop dead gorgeous)

I was his Bonny

He was my Clyde

If he was archilles

Then I was his “archilles heel”

I was his Jada

He was my Will

I was his Juliet

He was my Romeo

.......fast forward to the present......

Text message:-“ U told T’s friend I was desperate 2 come to your house:-that was cruel.
U put our conversations on speaker:-that was low.I dont really think I knew you.

Excuse me boss you have a text message

“My world does not revolve around what people think of me.I cant remember putting our conversation on speaker@anytym,I told him u wanted to come 2 collect T’s cheque & even said u would come with ur boyfriend.my 1st year at my workplace I was being crucified as the relationship breaker by this friend& i neva confronted you abt it,when ur boyfriend called,dis friend was with me& i said to him, I neva came in the way of his relationhip.What a way to let me know ur around.Pls focus ur aggression someplace else.

Now to a brief preamble which would help in understanding this post

REMEMBER THE DEMON,remember my Bro post,remember a post where I was woken up in the middle of the nite confronted with a txt I sent& received....it was all the demon. Last time I spoke/communicated with the demon was 2 and half yrs ago.....boyfriend and I which was being referred to were having serious problems cos of the demon...I was still in love with him..Boyfriend actually called the demon.....said the demon said I was the one still contacting him, ...(this wasnt true btw )tht we had broken up...,he was contacting me too, though he made more of an effort to move on than i did...he also had a girlfriend.Funny I didnt realise I was in love with the demon till I started dating boyfriend....BOYFRIEND AND I even got engaged even though I realised later I still had feelings for the demon.....theres a lot of bitterness cos it involves my brother....he lost his friendship with my brother when everything blew open cos I’m very close to T SO i TOLD HIM everything EVENTUALLY WHEN it was all over.cos we kept lying to T tht we didnt have anythn goin on.Ironocally T introduced us unknowingly but did not want us to have anythn to do with each oda but we had opened pandora’s box.T’S friend is his colleague at his current work place and also happens to be BOYFRIEND’S VERY CLOSE FRIEND.The last gist that broke the camel’s back was Boyfriend actually telling me tht T’s and his mutual friend said he put our conversations on speaker and he said I was desperate to come to his house even after we stopped seeing.I neva confronted the demon for a year since I heard , it helped to hate him and forget about him,until now...which brought the txt messages.
In conclusion,

All I feel now is this DIDO’S SONG

See u when u’re forty-actual title of the song incase u wana listen to it.
I’ll highlight the relevant portion of the songs with a lil explanation

Idrove around in circles for 3hrs
It was bound to happen that i’d end up at urs.........then that is,when the love was still sharking me.
I temporary forgot ther’s better days to come
I thought that i’d give it just one more chance....not really,given up on tht long ago
Cos I want tonite wht I’d been waiting for Would I find tonite what I’ve been warned about...... the stuff they said he said/did which led to the txt anyways
You think u are complicated,deep mystery to hold
Well its taken me a while to see u’re not so special....pretty much wht i feel now
....fast forward the lyrics to
So see u when ur forty...lost and all alone....frankly thts wht i wish him
Being comforted by strangers who never needed to know,not sad cos u lost me>...more like i lost him
Sad because you thot it was cool to be sad
You think that misery will make you stand apart from the crowd....as in causing me misery cos i’m not sure if he’s miserable...thou i wish
If you had walked past me today,I wouldnt have picked you out...he claimed he saw me recently in one of his earlier txts and tot i saw him but i swear i didnt.....so I wouldnt have picked him out
Now i’ve seen tonite,how could i waste my time.......waste my time sending tht txt in the first place.
Cos i’ve seen tonite ur just a boy, not a man.......his response.........very childishAnd i’m not coming back.......yep

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

excerpts from my teenage years

What is it sef, i must to blog today...haba na me be the CEO of this company?

My teenage years was very interesting come to think of it, i was young , i was happy and i guess, I was foolish.lol.Like a true arian I had lots of experiences/ adventures.here are some memorable ones

Foolishness
1.I had this class crush, looking back now i think it was mutual, we used to talk more philosophical stuff and the likeness was based more on intelligent boy likes intelligent girl...u see i was very smart for my age then and not so shy but very bold and outspoken.lets call him Etnoka, to me he was cool raised to the power 99, he didnt dress spetacularly but i was kinda of a nerd lover, i loved my guys brilliant...he used to write me poems and steal glances at me...he used to awkwardly look for moments to share a laff here and there with me....and wait for this i used to stalk him...back then it did not feel like stalking to me.
I would baff up walk the distance of say from ikoyi to vi, i was very athletic then,i would walk the length of his street twice hoping to catch a glimpse of him...my lil sis used to tell me that "wait na, ok if he now comes out one day and sees u on his street, wht will u say.....em...emm...i was just passing by or wht...wouldnt u feel stupid?!I used to argue then tht i could always claim i had a friend on his street....blah blah blah...seeing him made my day.....i used to see him sometimes and make sure he didnt see me.....so much for puppy love.i was 14....ma mother must not even hear of this.My mom that saw me and my sis watching one show on t.v,The setting was nite-club....we were in out of uni then o....All of sudden we saw madam A.....THTS WHT i'LL BE CALLING MOMSIE..clapping her hands together saying ...orisirisi....these girls tht they sent to school to go and read, they are in the nite club dancing with men.....she then snapped her fingers.....God forbid my miz-cynic and C(MY SIS) be like this children....Thank GOD i BROUGHT UP MY KIDS VERY WELL..
Needless to say I just turned my head to look at my sis and we both burst out into lafta.....In our minds we echoed...indeed!boya le mo(if only u knew).lol .

Youth...(for want of a term for ..."be young")
Like my mom will say "nigba ti mo wa ni omididun(apparently omididun was where she grew up as a young lady)...this translates to "when I was in omididun.In my days I used many a guys to "tayin"...this means to do yanga....to rubbish...e.t.c.If you fucked up once...no mercy.....I just fashi ur side pronto....I was young...and i felt like I could conquer the world.
I never fell in love with any one and i used to show guys then
I remember one episode one guy who really liked me but was afraid of my mouth, cos men! was it legendary....even my mom used to say she doesnt know how I became like this....tht of all her kids I was the last to talk coherently and even then i used to sound very funny cos of my voice...for the yoruba peeps....she used to say I talk like an "osanyin"...this translates in english to mean a funny ancestral deity tht talks funny.anyways....so this bros decided to follow me all the way from lesson to my house a good 30 mins walk....

I kept feeling someone was following me but each time i turned to look i see like a mirage of someone darting across the street..Finally when I got to my house....I saw him....He came towards me and said...'I LIKE YOU A LOT...HE NOW HANDED ME THIS BOX OF CHOCOLATES....that was when ur dearest cynic got really angry and started to rain abuses on the poor boy..."ehn ehn...tht was why YOU NOW FOLLOWED ME FROM LESSON TO MY HOUSE....u must be desperate o....SO BECAUSE U WANT TO GET INTO MY PANTS....YOU NOW BROUGHT CHOCOLATES ABI...AS IN IM A PROSTITUTE...WHO U'LL ONLY GIVE CHOCOLATES TO SLEEP WITH....before i count to 10 , u had better carry ur stupid self +ur chocolates and disappear into thin air. nonsense!I was 15 i did not know better.

This young man i ended up dating4 yrs later...It took him that long.lol.

to be continued.

Sunday, March 29, 2009

TO BLOG OR NOT TO BLOG.

its sunday, im free so what better thing to do than to blog.

im gonna use a style of blogging i rily like made popular by......

you're lonely..im not.then why is it that on ur birthday weekend u chose to spend time alone and indoors....well that wasnt my initial intention,but unfortunately it turned out that way......why did u not hang out with that guy,he seems sincere........he loves u.....duh!he loves me ke! when did he meet me,not to talk of falling in love with me....abegi guys are all the same jare.....maybe he's now desperate and has now realised that "oun ti ko..... o ti gbo bii gbure bury.".....dont think so...he told u tht not too long ago there was this chic who loved him so much and wanted to get introduced to his mom pronto......so wht, is tht why he also "threatened to introduce me to his mom....."threatened ! ur bad, u say tht like its a bad thing.......he's beginining to reek of desperacy......introduce me to his mom.....already saying he loves me......so whts ur problem with this guy sef......initially it was tht he's not goodlooking at all at all...but lately im beginning to think conversation wise to, he doesnt inspire me, he kinds of bores me......u're choosy!.....thts the way the cookie crumbles

so wht do u want to do with urself...... i wonder if i'll ever get married,seriously,if i dont get married before 30 i just might neva,"marriage gan sef ko wu mi lori"(im not that tripped about marriage).......it was ordained by God o......thts the only reason now why i would get married......what about companionship?u wouldnt have been so lonely on a bday weekend....well yes mayb.......but then again mayb not......i broke up with Sidney on my birthday 2 yrs ago remember.....oh yeah i can rememebr tht one, it was baaaaaaaaaaaad,u asked him outta ur car....u threw the bday card he bought for u at him,maybe in ur subconsious,u dont wana be happy.....who doesnt want to be happy, bone! thr is no human being on earth who doesnt want to be happy...infact i think all we do on earth is simply a constant strivance to pursue happiness .

ok so why did u also have to break the bad news to this one too on ur birthday...ur mean!...i had to do it......very clean and clinical cut neatly done via a txt message so it would not hurt so much cos i can see bobo don deyn imagine himself inlove with me......how convenient!after u collected his cake.....speaking of cakes....i havent even eaten the cake sef.....its pathetic, i dont even have anyone to eat the cake with sef....i havent even cut it.....cake tht u will even be afraid to cut...looks like something u should only cut on ur wedding day....lafffsss...ur bad rily!.....didnt u see the cake had 2 layers....the top layer was the shape of a heart....if only i could will myself to fall in love with this guy walahi......instead i find myself thinking of the demon.....speaking of which my bro called me and started badgering me about when im gona get married....if only he did not introduce me to the demon, if only i was not so curious and adventurous....if only i did not fall in love with the demon......now they're wondering about the demon.sorry,couldnt help it

i'll stop this post here , im getting emotional.

p.s:-this post is to show someone out there tht sometimes i can be mean.so sue me!

Friday, March 27, 2009

its my party and i'll cry if i want to

Yay1 TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAY.

sorry i cant post i'm so busy,im getting literally slapped with work.

larer.

Friday, March 20, 2009

RANDOMISITY

PEEPS.I cant believe I'd ever be this busy as.in I've not been able to post for more than 2 whole weeks....men! thts like a century in blogsville,I going freestyle today so I'm gona talk about anythn and every thing

There's this my biatch of a colleague whos as obtuse...no wait...insecure as scenarios like this

in a group of guys and girls gisting laffing,she goes

Moji:-If I were a guy , I wouldnt even go out with you.

moi:-say wht!(trying to close my mouth tht was hanging open........as in whr the hell did tht come from kinda expression,

moji:-you're too flat chested for me

moi:-but moji....max! ur just a cup size above me as in I'm a C cup and ur a C and half.(wtf!silly ass girl )now saef she's the C and I'M D.wtf!

anoda scenario

moji:-u need to be sucking in ur tummy o.....

moi:-i do a double take cos now im dead sure her tummy is not flatter than mine........and i say,
moji "abemi?"(could it be me)

moji:-me i have given birth to a kid o

rily pissed and pained i wait for when i get my own

i over hear her telling someone

"leave tht kobikle...as in tht was the way she pronounced it(with the letter u changed to 'o' as in o for orange...so i say...also very loudly...madam moji, its not kobikle...its cubicle.

i figure 1-1

It also got me wondering is it me or does she do this with others,only for a girl to come to me 2 days later and say....."mizcynic......why is this chic so bitchy sef...i say whc chic...she pointed to moji.
moi:-wetin she do u?
chic:-imagine o , yesterday i said i want to hitch a ride with moji and her husband....tht was how moji told me to go and wear my jacket(after closing hours o)over my top...and not seduce her husband.and topped it with...all u have are ass and bom...u have no shape.
moi:-sho! na wa o...and i thot she was like tht with only me.

my conclusion;-biatch is just a very obtuse,insecure and jealous biatch.

another random thot tht crossed my mind is that....my sis and I whenever we see a guy, in a movie or at a party or something...mayb drives "eki"..(rough) for us on the road or is doing something weird or otherwise.....our usual saying is ...."mi o le date guy yen",meaning-i can't date that guy...its not as if we have a "bevy"...of guys in tow or something o...quite the contrary but whenever we see a guy...we are able to immediately size him up and say"mio le date guy yen"...like he said he wants to date us!.

I have this boss....we're very close and we be going for a parri sef next saturday sef together....my other colleagues think she's very strict cos im almost always caught in the middle...so one day i try to tell her jokingly tht sometimes...it seems to pple tht ur too strict and I'm the only one who gets along with you...why are u always tht strict now...blah blah blah...u could cut them a lil slack u know....

her response was"mo ti pe ni banking industry o mizcynic....very soon mo ma to gba awon entitlements mi...wait for this!....dont know if u've all heard it but i neva until tht day..."mi o le wa fi iso kekere badi je".....(llllliterally it means...I've spent so long in the banking industry o...WONT BE LONG BEFORE I COLLECT MY ENTITLEMENTS...I CANT COME AND USE SMALL MESS TO SPOIL MY YANSH."....i burst out laffing...so thr u have it my colleagues...biffers of my dearest boss..."won o le a fi iso kekere badi je.lol.

What is it with guys and bra size sef....my sis was chatting anonymously with some guy on the phone....

guy:-so where do work?

sis:-tamedo & lagbaja trading ltd.

guy:-i see....so whts ur bra size?...just like tht!...in the same breathe as where do u work like he didnt hear her response well and heard "y-not niteclub instead"..idiot oshi...randy pig!.

Monday, March 2, 2009

THE EXPERIMENT

The experiment:-To determine whether it is necessary to play games at all where relationships are concerned-the female perspective

Aim:-T o find out whether ity is necessary to play games in a relationship.

Materials:-
1.3 unattached,single,looking for a relationship and free to be in a relationship emotionally GUYS
2.average looking guys(this is to eliminate the possibility of it being their looks that make them behave the way they do....)
3. a female:-(also average looking:-this is to eliminate bias on the part of the guys and to eliminate the affordability of the girlto overplay hard to get.)
4.A three weeks relationship each(each guy with the girl concerned)

Procedure
Girl meets Boy,call him R1,they chat and find out they have a lot in common and girl finds R1 attractive , just like R1 also feels that Girl Is attractive.

R1 calls girl incessantly and they have great conversation, he also sends texts frequently to girl and girl replies.....girl plays first card which is to reply his texts but not call him.....

R1 keeps calling and every thing seems fine until suddenly.....R1 stops calling and texting and maintains no communication at all....at first this worries girl and girl thinks of calling...but girl now gets annoyed and says wht the heck.....this is the beginning stages.,he should do all chasing.A week passes R1 still doesn't call or txt still.......Girl chins....

Then after a week, R1 sends a text....."hello, how are u doing...just said i shd say hi"...wtf.!

R2 was introduced to girl thru a mutual friend,after he complained its hard to find a girl of same religion he likes, he does the chasing actively because he knows hes the man and he gots to.....girl also reciprocates by replying txt msgs but once again plays tht card of not calling...everythn goes on well as they have great conversation ..all of a sudden R2 plays tht same card , not calling or txting for a week,girl misses him but thinks wtf!...
coincidentally R2 txts exactly same day as R1 with a txt tht read thus "salam alaykum girl"....girl ignores txt and he calls with some bullshit story of the silence was supposed to be a test.once again wtf!

CONTROL
R3:-this is the control....hes supposed nice and its a fairytale story....girl lets down her guards and she thinks R3 does same too..she is plain and very open about the fact tht she actually likes him and wht not...just like he also proclaims....come 4 weeks .....R3 stops calling, txting...girl does all calling/txting with the excuse he is busy....gradually R3 begin to show withdrawal symptoms....and does not call anymore.

Results
In GIRL VS R1, the guy polishes up his act and is now more serious than ever, girl is seriously considering a relationship with him but does not call him or txt him first......R1 is ever more attentive.

In girl vs R2,same results occur.

In the control however, it was noticed that girl's heart got broken

ASSUMPTIONS
1.Handsome guys are egocentric,conceited and arrogant,ugly guys overmake up for their ugliness and are thus overtly nice,naive,inassuming and humble...therefore for the purpose of this experiment...an average guy was chosen....which equals"normal guy"
2.All other factors are equal.i.e ceteris paribus being financial and social status

Conclusion:-It is necessary to play some games where relationships are concerned.

Friday, February 20, 2009

10 NEW THINGS I REALISED ABOUT ME

I an naive>>>>>very much so...sometimes i feel like giving myslef a knock on the head.....not every guy with an interesting mind will make a good partner....physical attraction plays a very important role....damn it cynic...i thot u knew better.

I like fine boiz>>>>>>very much so....cynic! wake. up!..fine boiz are usually the most self assured,egocentric,arrogant sonofabitches.....so why in God's name do u like fine boiz! they are bad news!

I am actually nice>>>>>very much so.....I aarrggh!!i who thought iwas a nasty bitch...actually reviewed something very selfless i realised is happening to me.......i realised tht someone very close to me whom i love so much is jealous of the fact tht i had someone i wanted to marry earlier and since her opinion mattered so much to me,notice i said mattered......i let go of tht person(long story)...and ever since i realise this person just does not seem comfortable with me getting married before her....now the nice part of it is actually tht i love her so much tht i wont mind sacrificing getting married even at 35...just so this person i love so much and im so protective of...can have her happily ever after before me....note! she's younger o...how sick is tht....me sef i didnt realise i can be this nice.it sucks!

I'm EMOTIONAL:-i used to think i was stone cold steve austin...until.....recently....I CRIED FOR A SILLY MOVIE.....CONFESSIONS OF A SHOPAHOLIC!imagine!


I'M QUIET:- ...actually this should read as i can be quiet,I have this chatterbox of a colleague....now i know i like to talk...very much so!...remember gisting is my past time but men! can this girl talk!........she talked to me one day to the extent tht my enthusiasm was diminishing at the rate of 5 comments per 30mins to 1 comment per 1 hr to outrightly ignoring her and doing something completely different....like keeping mute....so im very very quiet around her.

i like red:-i find tht recently i wear more red than usual.....been rocking red lipstick too much recently...also have this"itele apoti"(d baff i'll kack when i wanna meet ...say a president...probably Obama.)...its in red.

I like my own company:-I CAN BE VERY COMFORTABLE in my own company...i do a variety of things to entertain myself.....read,not watch t.v,browse,write down my thoughts,write down grocery lists as if im a pretend housewife and figureout how much i'll need for house keeping,watch porn.,e.t.c...i was indoors one saturday....in my room and i put off the light and no one knew i was indoors...and it was bliss for me.

I am close to my mum:-as much as i would love to deny this....ask my sis.....she and moms are like cats and dogs while we're like bonnie and clyde and i swear it all crept up on me....i even told her the real reason i broke up with my last ex.........told her i was still emotionally attached to another while dating him....i just realised...im close to my mother!aargh!

My friends have jaboed me:-not that i care....i guess they realise i'm not the calling-calling type......here goes last time i called my supposed best friend-last week!,my sister(d one i dont live with)-6 months ago,my bro:-5 months ago,my other bro:-5 months ago...note i get to communicate some way or anoda with them...which is all tht matas right!...i yahoo messenger them, they call me(more of this).....wht have u.

I can be a size 6 in no time if i wanted to:.....im on a diet now and iv dropped a dress size in 1 month....but i dont want to be size 6....i wana be uk size 10 thank u.





Saturday, February 7, 2009

adventures of lil miz-cynic

lil miz-cynic was skipping down the road with her aide camp(her lil sis).....skip skip skip skip.....they ran into 2 lil kids..(sistas )and 2 more lil kids came out to play.lil miz-cynic stood by and said to lil sis...."lets watch how they play."..lil girl A says to lil girl B "remove her pant"pointing to lil girl C....lil miz-cynic watched with her mouth hanging open...as lil girl A started to lick lil girl C'S BOM-BOM.....at least for a full 3 mins....lil miz-cynic closes her open mouth and moved forward with lil sis pointing to lil girl B...she yelled.."bottom opener".....then to lil girl A .."bottom licker"nyama!...even though they all became friends....lil miz-cynic neva allowed bottom opener and licker to have their way with her or her lil sis...and told all of the neighbourhood kids about the incidence and they were nickname bottom opener and bottom licker thereafter.

"tell us a story, tell us a story....lil miz-cynic tugged at daddy cynic's trouser one day."lil mizcynic....iv exhausted all my stories...leave me alone....pls daddy , pls daddy...cried lil miz-cynic....okay said daddy cynic......(i must mention here tht lil miz-cynic's muslim name is Shakirat)...here goes the story says daddy cynic ..."once upon a time""..."time time" replied lil miz-cynic excitedly......as she gathered all her other sibs to listen to daddy's story....daddy cynic contiued..."there was a shark and a rat......her other sibs burst out laffing.....lil mizcynic was very upset and she started to punch daddy cynic in the shoulders......saying....a shark and a rat indeed!
S-H-A-K-I-R-A-T....shark and rat...a combination of nher muslim name.

to be continued......(my browser is acting up!)

Thursday, January 29, 2009

i got promoted effective 1st jan 2009......now i had always known it was inevitable tht as soon as i get tht promotion i become head of my unit the same unit tht is termed"problem unit" technically u become head of problems, i who was so used being supervised has now become the supervisor.....and wht did i expect...to whom much is given...much is expected.....frankly my branch can not afford the salaries aS ABOUT 6 PPLE GOT PROMOTED at the same time...i had always thot tht before tht time came i would have left the company or somthing but it seems tht the more i tried to leave the stickier the "superglue" they must have used to tie me down becomes...so much so i begin to think to myself..."abi won ri ibi mi sibi ni""....now bumight take tht...translate....!before u start luking for yoruba dictionary i'll tell u..."did they bury my placenta there?" ...

in two weeks i begin my sojourn in "problem",,,,as in literally.....this sojourn has taken some to panti,led some to be disgraced by pple not even old enuff to be their first daughters(remember baba ondo), it has also led some into the beds of their superiors...all in the name of looking for favours....in d same vein...i wonder , wht sort of head of problems will i be?...i know i'll be overseeing at least 3 pple....who are in their own rights...heads of their own "problems",even though they man the seat all alone.....I cant help but think this is the time to be closer to God...and shed some of my goofy...,lay-abt attitude(I too cAN BE SERIOUS O),,,,but wait o...i cant afford to loose tht my goofy edge cos thts wht keeps the work going and keeps u on top of the job and not the other way round. I would like to think the 5 years tht i worked as surbodinates to about 5 or more different head of problems should have prepared me for the daunting task ahead...but if i know anything for sure.....5 things
I would not be the sort of H.O.P(head of problems) 1. that would become so scary to her surbodinates tht coming to work each morning would be like going to fACE A FIRING SQUAD.....I.E MY 2ND TO THE LAST H.O.P
2.I DEFINITELY WOULD BE THE SORT THT WOULD WELCOME..useful...and i mean only useful sugestions from her surbodinates.
3. the sort to teach and be a mentor to them
4. not allow the problems overweigh me to the extent tht the "desk" no longer has a human face.
5. tht would not be able to shield/protect my surbodinates and act as their voltron if need be when the higher authorities are abt to strike...i.e awon iya...and i mean awon iya osoronga.....right at the toppest top.

so eyin guys...wish me luck.....but trust ur girl...my c.v has started flying places....i gotta get outta here!aaarrggh.....won ri ibi mi mo bi ni...5yrs!

Sunday, January 18, 2009

JUST MY THOTS

what shall i blog about todAY.

I've come to feel like i know some bloggers thru reading, commenting,teasing and all on their blogs....Feel like doing something naughty...I want to write abt some of my favorite bloggers...im doing the male bloggers today..I want to write a lil of what i think they're like or lemme just say wht i'd like to think they're like.

Chari:-If i could describe chari in word, I'd say very"NAUGHTY".bUT i think inside that naughty young man is someone ambitious......who probably has a rich dad but sill wants to make a big success of himself all by himself.....He's funny, humorous....wiser than his years...cos before I met him I actually thot he'd be in his late 20s and then i saw him and saw tht he's in his early n twenties with a lot of life experiences even more than his older counterparts and I see him as someone who's down to earth although will probably do the whole designer effizzy guys do these days and definitely make a very attentive boyfi. big ups buttercups....ur a lucky girl....I remember the collabos with esn tht got me laffing and thinking this "butter" boy too wan de form ajepaki.i ALSO SEE HIM AS SOMEONE WHO'S LIBERAL AND SENSITIVE TO PPLE'S FEELINGS...NOT JUDGEMENTAL and who can see things objectively.

Rethots:-I would say rethots was not one of the bloggers i used to read religiously until recently...and i found tht if i were to describe him in one word...it'll be "EFIKO".i USED TO THINK HIS IDEAS WERE VERY RIGID AND INFLEXIBLE UNTIL I REALISED HE'S JUST ONE OF THOSE PPLE THT MAKE U FEELthey just wana make u feel they are always right without actually meaning to.He has actually been one of the bloggers tht i see mails frm in my box....whether he's polite to a fault ni o ...i dont know but i see follow-up mails which i neva do...and i thot to myself.....the feeling bigger than u vibes i get is because thats just the way he is ....he has a very complex mind......One comment that rily struck me with rethots was when i was actually talking abt one guy tht i read his chat and fell out with was "do u love him" in my mind i was like rethotssss..ki l a gbe ki le ju...someone i just met....but he's someone i can actually talk to and go to with a problem if i have one...

Baroque:-I dont think i can put this person in a box ...but if i were to try the one word would be"INTERESTING"lil wonda u get the feeling...he's perpetually flirting with all of blogsville females half the time....his posts are always interesting reads for me...and one disturbing post frm this guy was the one abt ....continuing to hammer one girl even though she clearly said stop...and i think to myself....he'll have to do a lot to explain with tht one...he must really have charisma though because.....soon enuff all of blogsville forgot abt tht post and moved on .he seems like a fun loving guy and also a very intelligent and intuitive one... he tries to mask his sensitivity under a mask of male ruggedness but he also reveals this sensitive side with some posts about a girl he loved and blah blah.vanity also seems to be a part of this guy and i see him as someone whom first encounters will count with and if he likes u a first time , it'll take a lot for him to shake tht feeling...i might be wrong though...its just my thots ...remember.

Tintin:-I came across this guys blog too very recently and i love reading it.very young and vibrant interesting read.He has a captivating nature...and a very healthy dose of enthusiasm abt life although this might be cos i think he's quite young and still having the time of his life.....my fav post was tht one he was talking abt male vs female opinions on third base or something of the sort....it was a very interesting read..WEll i see him as someone who gets propositoned by females quite frequently so I think he's probably handsome in a mesmerising way...probably has a good body too....

FBA:-I might be partial here but i think this guy is as real as they get so my one word for this guy is "HONEST'...as in he says whts on his mind without mincing words...can also be very goofy AND PLAYFUL..he seems like a guy tht would be very strict in relationships ,expecting to get as much as he gives and expecting 50-50.He seems like he's be friendly and outgoing and would also be very sensitive to pple's feelings...He seems like he would be very passionate abt anything he does with a philosophy of wht is worth doing is worth doing well.which shd include...love making too i hope.lol.

musco:-i ACTUALLY MET HIM TOO AND HE SEEMED VERY QUIET AND PROBABLY DEEP.i notice on his blogs hes also not too tactful....if u put up a post and he has to comment...he does not sugacoat...u'd almost think he's admonishing u....but its a ll cool cos id rather true words than suga-coated ones

ALOOFAR:-ONE WORD 'goofy"HES VERY FUNNY AND HAS THE ABILITY TO CRACK ME UP with some of his one liners....i dnt know if it was him or jAGUDA THT SAID in response to a post frm allied abt one liPs disease guy like tht and one guy tht was yarning some shit...and he said....he shd be slapped either ways....it rily cracked me up....i lAFFED REPEATEDLY....

jaguda:-mr erotic...i like reading his posts cos they are in between baroque and ubongda...if u want a sexy post tht is...its more subtle than ubongda...u know when these hollywood directors say...to a young girl tht is trying to break in..."dnt worry girl...its porn but it'll be done tastefully.


to be contd....i wont even have time to edit.

Friday, January 9, 2009

how miz-cynic got her groove on

So this time sunday I was looking forward some "rumurumu" as a silly friend of mine calls it....you see i had called up my ex ex boldly,cos i feel very comfortable with him and i know where he stands with me and vice-versa.....

fastforward to afternoon, he called me saying cynic...cynic , red alert....my folks are home....for sentimental reasons he still stays with his folks. his dad died and he wanted to give his mom some time before anoda male presence...her first born for that mata moves out again.also im buddy buddy with his mom since she'd always side with me then when we were dating wheneve we have any quarrel.this made me feel very uneasy with the escapade i had in mind.

He suggested we use their sch(a primary school)....he's the chairman...lol since his dad passed away and we decided to use the headmistress's office....u can imagine how naughty and desperate i was ....sha..we got their ..gateman opens we get in we lock up and down to business.

wont give the juicy details but i remember somewhr along the line reanswering afro's question and confirming that never say never...cos he came very fast and i didnt even notice until i felt cum in my mouth.as in directly in my throat and i actually swallowed ....reflex i guess......eeeew!!!!!!!!!!se! no!....it didnt taste too bad and i immediately kissed him back on the mouth with the same mouth . punishment for letting it in my mouth when he knows how i feel abt it.

Bros and I rearranged clothes and stepped outside ...only to realise that we had been locked in.....yea! by the silly baba gateman...I burst into lafta immedaitely and said ...see my life.if pple ask....ok aunty what were u too luking for inside iinocent little children's school on a sunday.....abi this na sunday sch???

I had to wait for rescue by the second key holder....his bro! who kept smiling one mischievious smile....funny enuff i smiled back.